My Birthday Gift to You!

Well, this is the end of August! I tried so hard to make it to the beach during my birthday month! But never ye fear! I will get there!  In the meantime, here is a top 10 list in honor of my birthday! Consider it my gift you! You all know I love lists, especially top 10 lists! 

1)     Know your faults, work on doing better, but act accordingly.  If you know you are not a patient person, recognize that. Don’t pretend that it is OK to be rude or mean. It’s not OK.  For example, don’t go to the big box store on a Saturday if you know you do not have the patience.

2)      Know your weaknesses. I mean seriously, there would be a lot less busted marriages, lives, bank accounts, etc., if you admitted your weaknesses.  Admit them and then plan accordingly. Doing so does not make you weak, it makes you strong. You have to be accountable. Yes, when your weaknesses know you are in control, they lose control. It does not mean they necessarily go away, no one will ever be perfect; but you are in control, not your weaknesses and emotions.  Believe me, there is nothing wrong or boring with the straight and narrow.  I’m sure the clients of Ashley Madison were wishing for a little straight and narrow living right about now.  Hey, maybe they can use a copy of my book “Down Again”!

My book Down Again

3)      Listen to your gut. It is ALWAYS right. Please, know the difference between your gut and your prejudices. That’s all I will say about that.  Your gut may be saying “no, never, ever, ever, no!” Or it may just be saying “not today, maybe tomorrow.”  Know the difference. Point number six goes into more detail. Keep reading!

4)      Be OK with not being liked by everyone. Try to get along with everyone, but choose your friends wisely. When you choose your friends wisely, you will choose your time wisely. I mean, who has time for gossip, nosiness, drama, and instigation? Yes, I checked, and instigation is a word.  You know the title of my blog site is DramaFreeZoneReligionFinanceLife right? Note the drama free zone portion. If you want to live in peace, be at peace with everyone.  Hebrews 12:14 says “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” 

5)      Be kind. You can be kind without being a doormat.  This is where setting boundaries is important. There should be boundaries in every relationship.  Learn more about setting boundaries by reading the works of Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  If people become upset when you enforce your boundaries, see point number four. 

6)      Get to know yourself. Like yourself, warts and faults, and all.  People like to say “God is still working on me.” That’s a cop-out. God is still working on all of his children.  If you need to apologize just do so. If you need to fix a situation, just fix it. Stop with the excuses and blame game. Learn you, work on you, and see point number one.

7)      Understand that when people act inappropriately towards you, most of the time they just do not know better.  Sometimes people are taking out their frustrations and their demons on you. Choose your battles, and if something is really bothering you, address it. Did I say it already? Choose your battles.  If you stop to address everything, you will be viewed as cray cray, also known as crazy; even if you do have a valid point. Oh, and see point number five.

8)      Kenny Rogers said, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to run.” He’s right. It’s not about being mean.  You would be just as dysfunctional if you continued to accept bad behavior after the same discussions with that person or people, over and over.    See point number five.

9)      It’s OK to make mistakes. There is no perfect human being on this planet! We will make mistakes, say dumb things, and trust the wrong people.  The key is to learn from our mistakes and to allow those mistakes to happen less, as we become older. See points four through eight.

10) Pray! Whether you believe there is a God or not, there is one. Whether you believe there is a    hell or not, there is one. Whether you believe there is a Heaven or not, there is one.  Oh, and whether you believe there is a devil or not, there is one.  We are coming down to the last days where right is wrong and wrong is right.  Many children are rude and abusive to their parents and elders.  Many parents are not stepping up to their role of readying their children for the real world.  The world has turned upside down and inside out.  We don’t know who to trust anymore because everyone is either wearing a mask or they are showing their true colors.  They are showing their true colors while in a role they probably should not be in.  The only one we can trust is God.  He will direct our every step if we allow him.  But we must allow him. I know he does not answer every prayer the way we would like, but we have to trust that he knows why.  
Hang in there, do the best you can, and re-visit points one through nine! 

When God's Children Fight

It doesn’t sound good does it? I mean, is that the image we want to portray to the world that Christians fight? Well I have news for you, they already know. The way Christians manage dispute, and the way we deal with the resulting consequences of the dispute, are what the world sees.  Sometimes on television, sometimes in their local churches.   

Many non-Christians believe that Christians should not fight, that we should not make mistakes, that we should not drop the ball.  I have news for you, we are human beings. We will mess up, we will drop the ball, and we will make mistakes.  Part of our transformation is however, that we are willing to correct, to change.  When we become Christians, we are supposed to grow in our knowledge of Christ.  That means we cannot keep the same bad attitudes and dirty habits.  We will not necessarily change overnight, but we should not be anywhere near the same a year or 30 years after we become Christians!  Unfortunately, some Christians do not change.  So you will see the same bad attitude and not much change, year after year after year!

I think this is the struggle most non-Christians have.  They see many Christians acting and talking like non-Christians and they get confused.  Most non-Christians will tell you that although they are not Christians themselves, they know how a Christian should act.  It sounds superficial, but that is the thought process of many non-Christians.  The fact is, most people at least in America, identify with the Christian faith. But identifying with a faith and living the life are two completely different things. 

For those Christians who more than identify, who truly believe, we still run the risk of messing up from time to time. Sorry!  There is a further difference though.  And here’s the clincher, the true Christian’s mess ups should be fewer as the years go by.  After all, like any relationship we are truly interested in cultivating, we want to learn the other person’s personality.  In fact we take on aspects of their personality.  We want to please that person, and we want to stay in relationship with that person.  We learn what makes them tick, what makes them upset, and what makes them happy.  Our relationship with Christ is pretty similar, except that we get more out of the relationship than he does.  In my opinion.  He loves us unconditionally, he wants us to spread the good news about how wonderful a relationship with him would be.  But he also wants us to reflect his attitude toward life, toward others, the more we become like him.

He wants us to be more forgiving. He wants us to be about his business instead of gossiping, backstabbing, and jostling for position.  God wants us to recognize our weaknesses and work on them daily, realizing we will never be perfect. He wants us to be more like him every day, every year, whether it is a year or 30 years from now! 

When we have disagreements especially with other Christians, God wants us to resolve those issues with him in mind.  He wants us to act like brothers and sisters, not mortal enemies.  He does not want us to go for the jugular, pounding each other into the ground, trying to destroy each other.  Those are all worldly and definitely ungodly actions.   We should not forget who or whose we are when we disagree with each other.  If we cannot resolve differences amongst each other like proper Christians, we are showing a bad example to the world.  And we are proving that we have not grown and probably have no intention of doing so.  We are just identifying with Christianity, but not living the life.

God will have the last word in every aspect of our relationship with him, and with each other.  He will give us increase and he will admonish us, because he loves us.  The question is, will you just identify with Christianity, or will you be about the life? 

Top 10 ways to know God can trust you financially

10) No matter your income, broke is a state of mind.  Whether you make $5.00 per hour or $5000.00 per hour, handle your money, do not allow your money to handle you.

9)   Give. Be generous with your time and your finances.  Whether you teach a Sunday school class, give to your local little league, or contribute to your local soup kitchen, be generous. “Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.” Ecclesiastes 11:1.

8)   Save.  No matter how much or how little you make, save something. There is no excuse for not saving.  The reason most people cannot save is because they are too busy trying to keep up with the Jones's.  There are so many discount stores around these days, anyone can look like a million bucks for less!

7)  Bless someone.  If you feel lead to give something to someone, or even pay for their meal, do it.  It does not matter how much you think they are worth.  Indeed, it does not matter if they are a multi-millionaire and you are not. See the scripture above in number nine. Of course, make sure your ‘blessing’ is done from the right place in your heart.  If you are doing it out of guilt or pride it will not work out.

6) Don’t hate.  Just as I mentioned above in number seven, it does not matter how much a person has or how much you think they have, offer.  It can be done without insulting them, it is a matter of being nice. Allow them the choice to accept or not.

5) Learn from your financial mistakes.  Everyone has made financial mistakes.  The key is to learn from those mistakes, and not repeat them. It may be tempting to repeat something expecting a different outcome, but trust me, the outcome will be the same.

4) Ask for help.  Most employers offer retirement savings plans as part of an employee’s compensation package.  With the retirement savings plan, typically a 401k or 403b; the company your employer hires to manage your 401k offers free assistance.  They can help you choose what mutual fund(s) to invest your 401k or 403b contributions.  The tools are there, do your research and be ready for retirement.   The government is not going to help you get ready for retirement.

3) Pay attention to the world around you.  No matter how you feel about it, we live in a global village.  Everyone is affected by everyone else.  Know what is going on in the world around you.  You do not have to be a professional financial person, news hound, or fluent in multiple languages.  Just be aware.

2) Know your financial weaknesses.  And act accordingly. Make a grocery list so that you do not spend double what you wanted to. Go clothes shopping at your planned time.  Some people buy clothes twice a year.  Or maybe you are shopping for a special occasion.  If not, stay out of the stores if you do not have the will power to ‘just browse’.

1) Know how to wait or to live without.  Stop using your credit card for your wants, and recognize the difference between wants and needs.  If you do not take control of your finances, you are only sabotaging yourself and your future.  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12.  When God sees you doing your best with your finances, he will trust you with more.  Leave the Jones's alone!  

What if?

Life is about choices.  We choose to take risks or we choose to live under the radar.  There is no middle ground, no straddling the fence.  We either risk applying for that promotion, or we sit in the same seat year after year.  We either risk asking that person on a date, or we wonder ‘what if?’ We either write that book or we dream about writing that book.  We dream about taking that vacation, or opening that business we think about every day; or we just exist until we die.

They say the cemeteries are filled with unrealized dreams.  We will one day become one of those unrealized dreams or we can take the risk.  What drives risk takers, what pushes us to take the risk? It’s that voice in our head and our gut that says ‘I don’t want to turn 90 and find myself sitting in my rocking chair wondering ‘what if?’  Don’t get me wrong, an integral part of taking risks is failing.  I believe that is what keeps many people from taking risks.  What if you ask her out and she says no?  What if you apply for that job or promotion and someone less qualified gets it?  What if you did not conduct the proper research before opening your business or maybe you did, and it fails within two years of opening?  What if you just break even on that book you decided to publish?  Hey, what if you take that dream vacation and you come back with a stomach virus or worse? 

But what if you succeed? What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?  What if you have the vacation of a lifetime with memories you will cherish forever?  What if the success of your book is that it touched one soul, or 10, or 10,000?  What if it takes your business three times before it is successful.  And in the meantime you have to work for someone else during the day and work on your business at night, until it is successful?  What if the person you asked out said no and then you met the person of your dreams?  Risk, what if?

Many years ago, I worked for a brokerage firm for more than a decade.  The last seven of those 11 years I was a Registered Representative—aka a stock broker.  It took me several years to get to that level, and I have to say I loved my job.  I loved, and still love, the energy of the stock market.  But some days I hated my job!  I would find myself staring out the window, wondering ‘what if?’  Then the layoffs happened. 250 of us in one day!  My life changed immensely after that day.  I vowed never to go back into the world of finance and thought I would try the healthcare industry. 

My first job in the healthcare industry, an entry level position, I lasted two and half years.  Then I was fired!  I was taking too much time with the patients.  I had never been fired before! The next employment opportunity, same job different company, I took that entry level position again; hoping to get in and move up in the company.  I seriously wanted to; thought I would, stay there until retirement! I tried for six years to move up, but to no avail.  I sat in an entry level position making thousands less than I had made as a broker, but thankful for a job.  We all know the stories of how many people are under-employed.  After six years however, I could not take it anymore.  I resigned.  It was now or never. 

The months preceding my resignation, that was all I heard, ‘it’s now or never!’  I heard it in church sermons and conversations with strangers who did not know my situation.  Everywhere I turned, I heard the warning, ‘it’s now or never’.  I kept thinking ‘I have to do this.  I may never get another chance’.  But I would push the thought out of my mind because it just was not practical.  It was not the right time!             

Well, here I am.  I’m working at my ‘what if’.  Is it scary? Yes it is!  Do I sometimes hear the voice in my head asking me if I’m crazy? Yes.  Do I ask myself what about being prepared for retirement?  Definitely! Suppose! Suppose, suppose, suppose!? What response do I give myself? ‘I know, suppose, but what if?’

Sea of voices

Have you ever been at a large gathering, typically Sunday morning church service, and the entire congregation is reading scripture or repeating a prayer? I think most people are subconsciously listening to their own voice, thinking ‘I don’t like my voice’. I don’t like to hear my voice either. It doesn’t seem to blend in with everyone else’s. Maybe that’s how it is for everyone. But have you ever stopped to listen to all of the voices? The unison but at the same time the differences. The male voices and the female voices. The young voices and the old voices. It sounds awesome doesn’t it?

Do you ever wonder what God hears when he hears our voices? Can you imagine the number of voices he hears on a Sunday morning all around the world? It probably sounds like a sea of voices to him. That’s how I imagine it. A beautiful sea of voices.


But what do you say on the other days? What does God hear when you are not in church? Does he hear negative words and thoughts? Does he hear us ripping each other apart with our lips? Does he hear us ripping ourselves apart? Do the words that come out of our mouths Monday through Saturday match the words that come out on Sunday morning? Do we talk about love on Sunday but use a different set of four letter words on the other days?


Never thought about it? Unfortunately, it’s not something many of us think about on a regular basis. But we should. Now more than ever, we need to be strong in our faith. We need to have the right words and thoughts in our minds at all times. There is so much happening in our daily lives. There are things happening that we never dreamed would. There are wars and rumors of wars. More people around the world are lacking the basic necessities than ever. There is hatred and strife, lack of understanding and empathy, and fear.


But what would our lives, our voices be like, if we speak the way God wants us to? What would happen if we said positive things and remembered his promises? Promises like ‘And the Lord shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the Lord thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them: And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.’ Deuteronomy 28:12-13. How about remembering God’s blessings on us instead of speaking negatively about ourselves?

What about saying and thinking positive things about people instead of thinking and assuming the worst? Like in Philippians 4:8, ‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’ It’s not easy when people have mistreated us, especially when they have done so on purpose. There are times when we will have to dig deep for the right attitude, the right words, and the right thoughts. But dig deep we must. It will work out better for us in the end. It will be worth it.

I often say that this Christian life is not easy. Many people want us to stop believing the word of God. They want us to give up our beliefs and just blend in. Live and let live you know? Say whatever we want, live however we want, believe whatever we want. But how would our voices sound to God? Our voice may sound weird in our ears, but I believe it must sound like a beautiful addition to the sea of voices he hears? I want my voice to be a part of the sea of voices. How about you?

In the Gap

Many times in the Christian community, when we pray for someone who is not present in the church service, we stand in the gap in prayer for that person.  In proxy.  But what about the people who do not have anyone to pray for them, to stand in the gap for them?  There are many people around the world who need prayer.  They may be Christians who are being killed, or non-Christians who do not know who Jesus is.  They may not even care who he is. 

Every day, people leave for work, their children leave for school, and they did not even thank God for waking them that morning, never mind asking Him to go with them throughout the day.  Many people feel like they are living life under their own steam and do not need any help from above.  It could be too, that they did not do it because they did not know to do it.  Besides, you would have to believe God can really help you to ask right?

And that’s OK, because when they get a revelation that there is a God and that they could rely on him in the good times and the bad, they will talk to him more.  They will pray.  They will rely on God to protect their children from the craziness they face at school every day.  They will rely on him to protect them during their commute, at work, and even in their relationships.  They will get a revelation that it is God who made us, who protects us, who wakes us in the morning and takes us through the day. They will realize that prayer before leaving the house is just as important as a good breakfast!

With everything that is going on in our world, what would be wrong with prayer? 

Well, in the meantime, maybe those of us who are Christians should stand in the gap.  Maybe in addition to praying for our family members we can pray for people around the world.  Maybe we can pray for Christians around the world who are going through things we cannot even imagine.  Maybe we should take a world view of our Christian beliefs, and really pray against all of the unbelievable things that are happening.  I believe we can really stand in the gap for the world. 

Many of us are taught to pray what we call ‘specific prayers’, rather than the typical general or generic prayer.  What should we pray for specifically? We can pray for Christian families who have been uprooted because of their beliefs.  We can pray against the kidnappings of children and women who are being used as sex-slaves.  We can pray against world-wide terrorism.  There is actually quite a bit we can and should be praying about.  As Christians, we cannot afford to pray the simple generic prayers anymore.  Life is no longer that simple.  We must pray for each other around the world.  We cannot afford to pretend that all is well because all is well with us.  We are our brother’s keeper.        

Evil eye, side eye

You know the look.  People you don’t know, at least you do not think you know them.  People who look at you like you did something really bad to them, and they are going to get you back somehow.  But you do not know them!  You just know you have never met them before!  You sit for a moment, going backwards in your memory bank, trying to place the name, the face, the name and the face.  But you just cannot place the person.  You cannot place the person because you do not know the person!

Stop hurting your brain muscle trying to place that person.  You really do not know them, and they do not know you.  You may remind them of someone.  You may be wearing a dress or pair of shoes they like.  It is after all, usually the petty little things that wake up the green eyed monster.  But what this person or these people do not know, and what you do not need to tell them, is what you had to go through.

You see, people do not understand, and in many cases will never understand, what you had to go through to get where you are or where you are going.  They do not know that some days you forget to eat because you become so involved in the plan. They do not know that most days you do not lay your head on your pillow until 2 a.m.  They do not know the relationships that have fallen away, relationships you thought would last forever.  Relationships that fell away because you did not or could not nurture them; or because God said ‘no more’, to those relationships.

They see the end results, and they make little guttural noises as they walk by you.  They make little comments that they somehow hope you missed and understood at the same time.  They gossip about you to people who will either think for themselves, or not.  And they keep tabs on you without encouraging you.

But know this: when you set out to follow the plan, whether it is a dream you have always had, or something God told you to do; just do it.  Do it knowing that not everyone who started on your journey will finish with you.  Not everyone who smiles with you wishes you well.  Not everyone will be able to keep up, because it is not their journey, it is yours.  They will need to find their own path. Because they are no longer on the journey with you does not mean that their journey is not just as important, it means it is their journey. 

Portions of your journey will be lonely even if you are surrounded by people, because you are the one who heard the word.  What you heard clearly may sound like foolishness to others.  Know that the handful of people who remain, who encourage you even if they do not fully understand, are gems. Be thankful for them.

Do not worry about the evil eye from strangers or people you know.  Concentrate on your journey, because life is short.  Stopping to make everyone comfortable with you, with your journey, will not be possible; and in many cases not worth it.  Do not allow yourself to become bogged down in nonsense and noise.  Smile, do your best wherever and whenever you are, stick to your schedule; and don’t forget to eat!

21st Century Hannah on air again on Monday February 16th!

God is not stupid

Many of us have heard of, if not seen, the movie 'God is not dead'.  It was a great reminder of the fact that God is indeed alive and well, and living...in the universe and in the hearts of his followers. But sometimes I wonder how many of us realize God is not stupid.  You see, I believe many of us as Christians think we can keep doing things we know are not Christ like, and then say silly things like 'God knows my heart'.  We say these things 10, 20, and even 30 years after we became Christ followers.  We say and do petty things, we push back EVERY TIME we are pushed, we simply do not grow.

Don't get me wrong.  No one is perfect, not even Christians.  The world likes to laugh and make fun of us when we mess up, but the fact is no one will ever be perfect.  The key is to do our best, to daily be more like Jesus.  This means we can't push back every time someone says or does something hurtful.  It means we sometimes have to smile when we really want to...do something else.  Being a Christian is a daily fight to be more like Jesus.  Some days we will fall short, and on those days we have to ask God to forgive us.  We may even have to ask our offender to forgive us. Yes, that is the life of a Christian. We have to be willing to forgive and to ask forgiveness.  

What should be happening, is we should be maturing in our faith.  We should not still be allowing the things that offended us when we first became Christians, to be offending us so many years later.  There are times when we will have to smile when someone says something stupid, remain calm when we are obviously being tested, and ask God to help us when we feel we might say or do the wrong thing.  We must want to mature. When we continue to mature, the nonsense that used to bother us no longer will, or not as much.  We see ignorance for what it is.  We see immaturity, from non-Christians as well as Christians, for what it is.  

Christians, let's stop acting like we think God is stupid.  Too many Christians are dying around the world for their faith while the rest of us are living a life of pettiness, hatefulness, bad attitudes, and lacking in growth. As human beings, we all have struggles.  As Christians, if we take those struggles to Jesus; he will help us.  He will heal us, he will mature us.  We just have to ask him, to allow him.       

What exactly is it?

I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  Many people dismiss it as 'religious', 'holy roller', 'old-school', and no longer relevant.  Even Christians in an effort to seem relevant, do not use the term.  What really bothers me is that some Christians believe we must stay away from certain terms and tenets of our Bible, to be relevant to people who view us as crazy for our beliefs anyway.  In fact, these very people want us to stop believing.  They think that we can just change our minds from believing in a book of ‘stories’ written 2000 years ago about a god that probably does not even exist.  For that very reason, the fact that our beliefs are 2000 years old, we should forget it and 'get into the 21st century'.  We should 'go along to get along', and 'live and let live'.  If we do not comply, we are 'narrow-minded', 'hateful', and anti-anything that is now openly accepted.  

I do not know what is more treacherous though, the belief that Christians should just stop believing, or the Christians who have indeed stopped believing.  If they ever believed at all.  Believe or not, The Word is The Word, and those of us who know The Word realize we cannot just stop believing.  There's a saying, 'stand for something or fall for anything'.  I do not know who said it, but I agree.  I agree not because I want to be stubborn and anti-establishment; but because there is something deep within me, deeper than an impression, that believes.  It is a living, breathing, confidence in someone bigger than me.  That someone created me, and when I worship Him, my heart and my spirit come into agreement with His.  How does one just walk away from that and stop believing?

Am I being asked to stop believing in my creator so that our new society of ‘go along to get along' feels less threatened? In America, it used to be that people were allowed to believe what they wanted.  Now when we believe, we can be accused of hate crimes.  It seems the reverse is happening.  It is the Christians who are being ostracized.  That however, has been the case since the beginning.  We are used to being ostracized.  

At the mention of the name Jesus or God, some people become quite angry.  They will probably become angrier when they realize that 'holiness' is a relevant term.  It is not a religious, old-school, or holy-roller term.  It is relevant to those of us who still believe.  You see, the Word says 'Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.' --Hebrews 12:14.  So for those of us who believe, we must be holy if we want to go to Heaven.  For believers, Heaven is what it is ultimately all about.  But while we are here, holiness means loving everyone, doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, and it means not changing our minds or 'going along to get along'.

Nowhere in the Word does it tell Christians to hate people, but the Word does tell us to hate sin. Furthermore, the word is quite clear on what sin is.  For those, Christian and non-Christians, who believe we can just interchange, add a little here, take away there; it does not work like that. We either believe the entire Word or none of it.  

Christians will continue to believe the Word.  We will continue to love everyone, and we will continue to hate sin.  We will continue to abide by the laws of our land, but we will not compromise The Word.  It will not always be easy to walk the fine line of obeying The Word and obeying the law, but we will do just that.  Our God, The Word, will direct us.  We believe.