Have you ever just known, I mean you knew without a doubt, that something you had hoped for or just assumed, would happen. I mean there was no doubt and you didn't even give it a second thought because you just knew! And then it didn't happen. I'm not talking about a trip you had planned or a college to which you applied. I'm talking about something that when it did not happen it rocked you to your core.
I believe if something like this has never happened to you, you are fortunate. But really, you haven't lived until you have had to fight for every minute of every day, minute by minute. Sounds rough huh? Well there are a lot of people going through this very scenario. Some people survive the blow and some do not. For some it's the loss of a loved one they thought would be around for at least a very long time. For others its a prayer God did not answer. It's pretty tough when you pray for years for something and God does not answer.
What do you do, how do you recover, how do you make it through the rest of your life? There are a lot of smug answers: 'well God is in control' or 'we live in a fallen world', or what about this one 'we will understand it better by and by.' When is 'by and by'? Why do we have to wait until then to understand?
A lot of things do not make sense and as human beings, we want things to make sense. What do we do when we can't get things to make sense? We struggle with 'it' making sense one day and then the next day we're back to being completely dumbfounded. We want two and two to add up to four and it just isn't adding up.
Let me tell you from my humble perch. I am there. I want you to know that if I can make it so can you. Allow yourself to question God, allow yourself to struggle until you just don't struggle anymore. Whatever you do, don't give up, keep going. If you don't have a core group of trusted people to talk to, seek professional help. One day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will use your experience to help someone else. Sure, you would prefer that your prayers had been answered but they weren't. You won't be the first and you won't be the last, neither will I. Take every bit of your experience and put it to good use. Everything will be alright.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Let's go to the casino!
Co-worker: Hey Civilla, let's go to the casino?
Me: he he he, funny.
Co-worker: Come on, I've been asking you to go.
Me: Let me ask you a question? I'm on the prayer team at church, what do you think I should do, should I go to the casino with you then go to church and pray?
(queue laughter from a co-worker sitting nearby.)
End of conversation...for now, I'm sure.
That conversation got me to thinking, for the millionth time, about people who straddle the fence. Fence straddling is one of my pet-peeves. Pick a side! Whether it is relationship with Christ or not, or casino or not. There is a saying 'if you don't stand up for something you will fall for anything.' I'm not sure who said it, but it's true. It is very easy to get on the latest bandwagon if you don't know where you stand.
Do the research, saying you do not care is a cop out. It turns out by the way, that God doesn't care much for fence straddlers either:
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelations 3:14-16.
For the record, I get along well with this co-worker. Most of my co-workers know that I have picked a side. Am I perfect? No. Who is? But they see me striving daily to have the right attitude, trying not to trip over myself, dealing with bad news and bad days. They know for a fact that I have picked a side and it has nothing to do with a casino.
You know this, but I will say it anyway: people know exactly what you stand for as a Christian, but they will try you anyway. If you are not straddling the fence you have nothing to worry about because you have picked a side!
Me: he he he, funny.
Co-worker: Come on, I've been asking you to go.
Me: Let me ask you a question? I'm on the prayer team at church, what do you think I should do, should I go to the casino with you then go to church and pray?
(queue laughter from a co-worker sitting nearby.)
End of conversation...for now, I'm sure.
That conversation got me to thinking, for the millionth time, about people who straddle the fence. Fence straddling is one of my pet-peeves. Pick a side! Whether it is relationship with Christ or not, or casino or not. There is a saying 'if you don't stand up for something you will fall for anything.' I'm not sure who said it, but it's true. It is very easy to get on the latest bandwagon if you don't know where you stand.
Do the research, saying you do not care is a cop out. It turns out by the way, that God doesn't care much for fence straddlers either:
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelations 3:14-16.
For the record, I get along well with this co-worker. Most of my co-workers know that I have picked a side. Am I perfect? No. Who is? But they see me striving daily to have the right attitude, trying not to trip over myself, dealing with bad news and bad days. They know for a fact that I have picked a side and it has nothing to do with a casino.
You know this, but I will say it anyway: people know exactly what you stand for as a Christian, but they will try you anyway. If you are not straddling the fence you have nothing to worry about because you have picked a side!
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