Zero Growth is not Okay!

Every once in a while I conduct a mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional review…of myself. I am not searching for a picture of perfection, because that will never happen.  But I am hoping to find growth.

 

I am hoping that I have grown since the last check-up. I’m not OK with zero growth.  It’s nice to know I am not the same person I was five or ten years ago, but I still want to be further along than I was six months or one year ago. 

What is the point of living a stagnant, never-growing life? Always with the same thoughts, limiting beliefs, knowing there is more; but preferring to remain in the status quo. Some people are willing to remain in the status quo so as not to lose friends or family members due to personal growth.

Those of you used to reading my blogs or listening to me on my Podcast, http://traffic.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah/MON _080315_DONT_BE_A_STATISTIC.mp3, or my YouTube Channel,  

have heard me say on a regular basis, that life is short. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Yet we continue to sit in our comfort zone, sticking with what and whom we know.  We remain in the familiar because we do not want to risk suffering any type of loss—physical, emotional, financial, etc.  I mean, stepping out of your comfort may mean

moving, changing jobs, changing churches, even changing friends! Oh no!

So you fight that inner voice that’s telling you to step out, and you stay. But there is a constant discomfort on the inside.  No one else can sense that prompting but you. No one else understands that prompting but you. Yes, a close friend or family member may sense something, and if you are fortunate, that person or persons may confront you, nudging you into the direction you should go. Unfortunately, you may also have friends that want you to stay right where you are. It could be for their comfort, jealousy, or fear of losing you.

Trust me, stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy.  There WILL BE change and growth. But if you ignore that voice, that prompting in your belly, that dream or invention may never happen. And you will regret it forever, trust me. 

Listen to that voice. Step out, grow. Because the fact is, that voice will never allow you to feel ‘comfortable’ again. Ever. You will always feel that nagging of the unknown on the inside. Always.   

        

My Birthday Gift to You!

Well, this is the end of August! I tried so hard to make it to the beach during my birthday month! But never ye fear! I will get there!  In the meantime, here is a top 10 list in honor of my birthday! Consider it my gift you! You all know I love lists, especially top 10 lists! 

1)     Know your faults, work on doing better, but act accordingly.  If you know you are not a patient person, recognize that. Don’t pretend that it is OK to be rude or mean. It’s not OK.  For example, don’t go to the big box store on a Saturday if you know you do not have the patience.

2)      Know your weaknesses. I mean seriously, there would be a lot less busted marriages, lives, bank accounts, etc., if you admitted your weaknesses.  Admit them and then plan accordingly. Doing so does not make you weak, it makes you strong. You have to be accountable. Yes, when your weaknesses know you are in control, they lose control. It does not mean they necessarily go away, no one will ever be perfect; but you are in control, not your weaknesses and emotions.  Believe me, there is nothing wrong or boring with the straight and narrow.  I’m sure the clients of Ashley Madison were wishing for a little straight and narrow living right about now.  Hey, maybe they can use a copy of my book “Down Again”!

My book Down Again

3)      Listen to your gut. It is ALWAYS right. Please, know the difference between your gut and your prejudices. That’s all I will say about that.  Your gut may be saying “no, never, ever, ever, no!” Or it may just be saying “not today, maybe tomorrow.”  Know the difference. Point number six goes into more detail. Keep reading!

4)      Be OK with not being liked by everyone. Try to get along with everyone, but choose your friends wisely. When you choose your friends wisely, you will choose your time wisely. I mean, who has time for gossip, nosiness, drama, and instigation? Yes, I checked, and instigation is a word.  You know the title of my blog site is DramaFreeZoneReligionFinanceLife right? Note the drama free zone portion. If you want to live in peace, be at peace with everyone.  Hebrews 12:14 says “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” 

5)      Be kind. You can be kind without being a doormat.  This is where setting boundaries is important. There should be boundaries in every relationship.  Learn more about setting boundaries by reading the works of Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  If people become upset when you enforce your boundaries, see point number four. 

6)      Get to know yourself. Like yourself, warts and faults, and all.  People like to say “God is still working on me.” That’s a cop-out. God is still working on all of his children.  If you need to apologize just do so. If you need to fix a situation, just fix it. Stop with the excuses and blame game. Learn you, work on you, and see point number one.

7)      Understand that when people act inappropriately towards you, most of the time they just do not know better.  Sometimes people are taking out their frustrations and their demons on you. Choose your battles, and if something is really bothering you, address it. Did I say it already? Choose your battles.  If you stop to address everything, you will be viewed as cray cray, also known as crazy; even if you do have a valid point. Oh, and see point number five.

8)      Kenny Rogers said, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to run.” He’s right. It’s not about being mean.  You would be just as dysfunctional if you continued to accept bad behavior after the same discussions with that person or people, over and over.    See point number five.

9)      It’s OK to make mistakes. There is no perfect human being on this planet! We will make mistakes, say dumb things, and trust the wrong people.  The key is to learn from our mistakes and to allow those mistakes to happen less, as we become older. See points four through eight.

10) Pray! Whether you believe there is a God or not, there is one. Whether you believe there is a    hell or not, there is one. Whether you believe there is a Heaven or not, there is one.  Oh, and whether you believe there is a devil or not, there is one.  We are coming down to the last days where right is wrong and wrong is right.  Many children are rude and abusive to their parents and elders.  Many parents are not stepping up to their role of readying their children for the real world.  The world has turned upside down and inside out.  We don’t know who to trust anymore because everyone is either wearing a mask or they are showing their true colors.  They are showing their true colors while in a role they probably should not be in.  The only one we can trust is God.  He will direct our every step if we allow him.  But we must allow him. I know he does not answer every prayer the way we would like, but we have to trust that he knows why.  
Hang in there, do the best you can, and re-visit points one through nine! 

Top 10 things every woman over 40 should know

10) Its true, we really should have at least one really nice black dress, one really nice business suit, and one really nice pair of shoes!

 9) After 40, we should realize that although human beings are living longer, life is short.  Every day should be chock full of joy and thankfulness whether we are cooking yet another meal, taking out the trash, or zip lining through a forest! Every day is a gift.

8) Most arguments are just not worth it. Most people will realize that once you have declined the invitation to argue, they will calm down.  Most people…which leads to the next point.

7) Life is too short for drama. We must avoid the drama queens and kings as much as possible.  We can’t save everyone!  I read a meme the other day that I really like: ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’! I’m not sure who said it, but I love it!

6) By the way, in point number seven, it does not mean that we should not be kind or helpful, but by 40, we should: Know the difference between lending an ear and getting drawn in. 

5) We should know that having a giving spirit does not mean we are losers or that we are stupid. It just means we have a giving spirit. The key is to know to whom we should give, or not to give.  We should know how to be selective and when to cut people off when we see a trend. You know what I’m talking about! It is called discernment and common sense.  If you do not have either, ask God to give them to you.

4) By 40 we know that no one, not even we ourselves, is perfect.  We should be kind to others even if we do not ‘click’ with them.  It won’t take anything out of us to do so.

3) For those of us who are single never married, divorced, or widowed, we have a lot to offer.  Chances are there are people in our lives with whom we can spend time. At any rate, we have a book to write, a degree to finish, or a project we have always wanted to complete.  We are first class human beings.  We should not settle for just any companionship to avoid loneliness.  There’s a big world out there waiting for us to get to know!    

2) If you are married, enjoy your spouse. Hey, you said yes!  The grass is not greener. It is only greener where you water and fertilize.  Hey, look at fertilizer as an investment.  That stuff is expensive! OK, that’s it on that subject.  If you have children, enjoy them, before you know it they will be grown and gone.  Do not take advantage of them, and do not take them for granted.  At least one of them may be there for you during your old age.  And remember, some of us do not have children.

1) We should get to know our Creator. He is the one who will never leave us or forsake us even when the most well-meaning and loving human being we know, may let us down.  He will never let us down, whether he answers our prayers the way we wanted or not. Trust him.  After all, he knows our end to our beginning and our beginning to our end. Check out these two scriptures.  ‘Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things which have not been done, saying ‘My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all my good pleasure.’-- Isaiah 46:10…and “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”-- Revelations 22:13.

There are many more things that will occur to us as we head into our 40’s.  It’s definitely not just 10 things, but I will tell you this; I felt like an adult for the first time in my life when I turned 40…a long time ago!  I maintain a teachable spirit, but I have also decided that I would go out on a limb more.  I take day trips to the beach and other places I had always wanted to.  I decided that In the midst of my life’s responsibilities, I was going to have fun! Life is short!  Hey, no matter how it looks on social media, no one’s life is perfect.  Most people are just doing the best with what they have been given.  At least that’s what we should be doing!