$2.00

He walked between the idling vehicles.  Vehicles whose drivers I am quite sure impatiently waited for the light to turn green.  Everyone wants to reach their destination right?  He walked laboriously.  It made me think about how effortless it was for me to just get up from a chair and walk to another room, without thinking about it.  I could almost feel the pain he must sometimes feel, just to walk. 

He walked between the idling vehicles, but he was still slightly too far away for me to get his attention.  I assumed he would continue walking between the vehicles, toward my vehicle. I pulled $2.00 out of my purse, waiting for him to get closer, but just then he turned between two vehicles and stepped onto the sidewalk.  I was slightly disappointed as I put the $2.00 back into my purse, admittedly wondering what he would have done with the money. I also thought to myself, 'if he only knew how close he was to $2.00', especially as I seldom carry cash.  We sat at the light for another 15 or 20 seconds.  Ample time for him to have continued walking.  He had become discouraged and given up when he was so close.  Who knows how many people behind me may also have had $2.00, or more? 

As I sat waiting for the light to turn green, I thought about people in general, who had given up, not knowing how close they were to achieving their dream.  How many people had given up and walked back onto the sidewalk just before their $2.00?  I winced at the thought that it could be me!  Just then I said a quick prayer, ‘please God, don’t let me give up just before my breakthrough, before my $2.00.’  I put my purse back, thinking ‘if he only knew’.

Sea of voices

Have you ever been at a large gathering, typically Sunday morning church service, and the entire congregation is reading scripture or repeating a prayer? I think most people are subconsciously listening to their own voice, thinking ‘I don’t like my voice’. I don’t like to hear my voice either. It doesn’t seem to blend in with everyone else’s. Maybe that’s how it is for everyone. But have you ever stopped to listen to all of the voices? The unison but at the same time the differences. The male voices and the female voices. The young voices and the old voices. It sounds awesome doesn’t it?

Do you ever wonder what God hears when he hears our voices? Can you imagine the number of voices he hears on a Sunday morning all around the world? It probably sounds like a sea of voices to him. That’s how I imagine it. A beautiful sea of voices.


But what do you say on the other days? What does God hear when you are not in church? Does he hear negative words and thoughts? Does he hear us ripping each other apart with our lips? Does he hear us ripping ourselves apart? Do the words that come out of our mouths Monday through Saturday match the words that come out on Sunday morning? Do we talk about love on Sunday but use a different set of four letter words on the other days?


Never thought about it? Unfortunately, it’s not something many of us think about on a regular basis. But we should. Now more than ever, we need to be strong in our faith. We need to have the right words and thoughts in our minds at all times. There is so much happening in our daily lives. There are things happening that we never dreamed would. There are wars and rumors of wars. More people around the world are lacking the basic necessities than ever. There is hatred and strife, lack of understanding and empathy, and fear.


But what would our lives, our voices be like, if we speak the way God wants us to? What would happen if we said positive things and remembered his promises? Promises like ‘And the Lord shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the Lord thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them: And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.’ Deuteronomy 28:12-13. How about remembering God’s blessings on us instead of speaking negatively about ourselves?

What about saying and thinking positive things about people instead of thinking and assuming the worst? Like in Philippians 4:8, ‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’ It’s not easy when people have mistreated us, especially when they have done so on purpose. There are times when we will have to dig deep for the right attitude, the right words, and the right thoughts. But dig deep we must. It will work out better for us in the end. It will be worth it.

I often say that this Christian life is not easy. Many people want us to stop believing the word of God. They want us to give up our beliefs and just blend in. Live and let live you know? Say whatever we want, live however we want, believe whatever we want. But how would our voices sound to God? Our voice may sound weird in our ears, but I believe it must sound like a beautiful addition to the sea of voices he hears? I want my voice to be a part of the sea of voices. How about you?

Evil eye, side eye

You know the look.  People you don’t know, at least you do not think you know them.  People who look at you like you did something really bad to them, and they are going to get you back somehow.  But you do not know them!  You just know you have never met them before!  You sit for a moment, going backwards in your memory bank, trying to place the name, the face, the name and the face.  But you just cannot place the person.  You cannot place the person because you do not know the person!

Stop hurting your brain muscle trying to place that person.  You really do not know them, and they do not know you.  You may remind them of someone.  You may be wearing a dress or pair of shoes they like.  It is after all, usually the petty little things that wake up the green eyed monster.  But what this person or these people do not know, and what you do not need to tell them, is what you had to go through.

You see, people do not understand, and in many cases will never understand, what you had to go through to get where you are or where you are going.  They do not know that some days you forget to eat because you become so involved in the plan. They do not know that most days you do not lay your head on your pillow until 2 a.m.  They do not know the relationships that have fallen away, relationships you thought would last forever.  Relationships that fell away because you did not or could not nurture them; or because God said ‘no more’, to those relationships.

They see the end results, and they make little guttural noises as they walk by you.  They make little comments that they somehow hope you missed and understood at the same time.  They gossip about you to people who will either think for themselves, or not.  And they keep tabs on you without encouraging you.

But know this: when you set out to follow the plan, whether it is a dream you have always had, or something God told you to do; just do it.  Do it knowing that not everyone who started on your journey will finish with you.  Not everyone who smiles with you wishes you well.  Not everyone will be able to keep up, because it is not their journey, it is yours.  They will need to find their own path. Because they are no longer on the journey with you does not mean that their journey is not just as important, it means it is their journey. 

Portions of your journey will be lonely even if you are surrounded by people, because you are the one who heard the word.  What you heard clearly may sound like foolishness to others.  Know that the handful of people who remain, who encourage you even if they do not fully understand, are gems. Be thankful for them.

Do not worry about the evil eye from strangers or people you know.  Concentrate on your journey, because life is short.  Stopping to make everyone comfortable with you, with your journey, will not be possible; and in many cases not worth it.  Do not allow yourself to become bogged down in nonsense and noise.  Smile, do your best wherever and whenever you are, stick to your schedule; and don’t forget to eat!

Perception

Late last year I went back to the Caribbean Island my family is from, to attend the funeral of a family member.  Of course it was a sad occasion, but as preparations were underway, some days we took the opportunity to stop for lunch at a nearby restaurant.  I walked ahead of the family members I had traveled with that day, to get to the restaurant; I was hungry, and wanted to get a table.  Dressed in a sundress and flip flops I walked into the restaurant searching for the perfect table.  A young man sitting at a nearby table stopped eating, looked at me said something I will never forget: 'you are impressive'.  I said 'excuse me?' He repeated himself.  I said 'you don't even know me, how do you know I'm impressive?' He said 'it's the way you carry yourself.' I was silent for a few seconds, taken aback, and then I said 'thank you'.  He said 'you're welcome' and turned back to his food. I found a table for the group I was with.

I realize as human beings, we will never be perfect. Christian or not. But what I do know is that whether or not we are perfect, whether or not we realize it, we are being watched.  We are being watched when we mess up and we are being watched when we do well.  I read a FaceBook post a few days ago, where an elderly woman eating at a restaurant, apparently wrote a note to her waiter impressed by the way he carried himself.  He reminded her of her deceased son.  Whether or not this story is true, the fact is we have to ask ourselves how are we being perceived, how do we carry ourselves? Does it matter? Of course it does.  Those of us who are Christians know this is especially true.  We know that many times people are watching to see us mess up, and some people in fact some want us to do well.

As Christians, we are representatives of Jesus.  As such, we must live our lives as much as possible above reproach.  We may make a bad decision once in a while or say something we should not have, but we must push to become the person God wants us to be.  We must be a blessing to everyone we interact with.

How do we emanate the right perception, how do we carry ourselves in a good and positive way? Being a person who emanates a positive perception to others can start with simple actions.  We should treat people with respect and dignity regardless of their station in life.  That may sound snobbish or uppity, but the fact is, many people mistreat those whom they think are 'beneath' them. No human is beneath another human, God made us all, and in His image.  If we remember that, treating everyone we meet with respect will come naturally.  We all want to be heard, and sometimes just being heard by you is all another human being will get.

Sometimes we will miss the mark, but the key is to try continually, it will be worth it.  I will be honest, I struggle with patience.  When we travel to the islands my family and I are from (we are from two different islands that are governed by one flag) we have to take a taxi from the airport to the pier, and then take a ferryboat to the island of our final destination. On the flight from the U.S. a passenger was having trouble storing his luggage in the overhead compartment.  I had no choice but to stand in the aisle, waiting for him to get his luggage stored.  Little did I know that I would be sitting next to him for our trip from The U.S. to the Caribbean.  God does have a sense of humor.  He points out our faults to us, giving us a chance to fix them. The gentleman thanked me profusely for my patience, which made me feel guilty!  Because I really just wanted to sit down.  We chatted on the trip to The Caribbean, and when we landed he thanked me again for my patience and insisted on paying our fare from the airport to the pier.  He would not be refused.  We thanked him and took our taxi to the pier.

Whenever I find myself in a situation where my patience is tested, I remember the above mentioned experiences.  The thing about relationship with Christ is that when He knows we are chasing after Him, when we try, and when we fail; He will test us but He will not leave us.  He will teach us through experiences such as the above, but He will not embarrass us or call us out.  We just have to trust Him to grow us, allow Him to grow us.

When Moses was turning his leadership over to Joshua when the Israelites were about to enter The Promised Land, he said many encouraging things to the people, but one of the things that stood out for me was this: 'The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.' Deuteronomy 31:8.  I know that The Lord is going ahead, before me, to teach me, even reprimand me.  He wants me to be of a positive and good perception.  Amen!