Evil eye, side eye

You know the look.  People you don’t know, at least you do not think you know them.  People who look at you like you did something really bad to them, and they are going to get you back somehow.  But you do not know them!  You just know you have never met them before!  You sit for a moment, going backwards in your memory bank, trying to place the name, the face, the name and the face.  But you just cannot place the person.  You cannot place the person because you do not know the person!

Stop hurting your brain muscle trying to place that person.  You really do not know them, and they do not know you.  You may remind them of someone.  You may be wearing a dress or pair of shoes they like.  It is after all, usually the petty little things that wake up the green eyed monster.  But what this person or these people do not know, and what you do not need to tell them, is what you had to go through.

You see, people do not understand, and in many cases will never understand, what you had to go through to get where you are or where you are going.  They do not know that some days you forget to eat because you become so involved in the plan. They do not know that most days you do not lay your head on your pillow until 2 a.m.  They do not know the relationships that have fallen away, relationships you thought would last forever.  Relationships that fell away because you did not or could not nurture them; or because God said ‘no more’, to those relationships.

They see the end results, and they make little guttural noises as they walk by you.  They make little comments that they somehow hope you missed and understood at the same time.  They gossip about you to people who will either think for themselves, or not.  And they keep tabs on you without encouraging you.

But know this: when you set out to follow the plan, whether it is a dream you have always had, or something God told you to do; just do it.  Do it knowing that not everyone who started on your journey will finish with you.  Not everyone who smiles with you wishes you well.  Not everyone will be able to keep up, because it is not their journey, it is yours.  They will need to find their own path. Because they are no longer on the journey with you does not mean that their journey is not just as important, it means it is their journey. 

Portions of your journey will be lonely even if you are surrounded by people, because you are the one who heard the word.  What you heard clearly may sound like foolishness to others.  Know that the handful of people who remain, who encourage you even if they do not fully understand, are gems. Be thankful for them.

Do not worry about the evil eye from strangers or people you know.  Concentrate on your journey, because life is short.  Stopping to make everyone comfortable with you, with your journey, will not be possible; and in many cases not worth it.  Do not allow yourself to become bogged down in nonsense and noise.  Smile, do your best wherever and whenever you are, stick to your schedule; and don’t forget to eat!

Perception

Late last year I went back to the Caribbean Island my family is from, to attend the funeral of a family member.  Of course it was a sad occasion, but as preparations were underway, some days we took the opportunity to stop for lunch at a nearby restaurant.  I walked ahead of the family members I had traveled with that day, to get to the restaurant; I was hungry, and wanted to get a table.  Dressed in a sundress and flip flops I walked into the restaurant searching for the perfect table.  A young man sitting at a nearby table stopped eating, looked at me said something I will never forget: 'you are impressive'.  I said 'excuse me?' He repeated himself.  I said 'you don't even know me, how do you know I'm impressive?' He said 'it's the way you carry yourself.' I was silent for a few seconds, taken aback, and then I said 'thank you'.  He said 'you're welcome' and turned back to his food. I found a table for the group I was with.

I realize as human beings, we will never be perfect. Christian or not. But what I do know is that whether or not we are perfect, whether or not we realize it, we are being watched.  We are being watched when we mess up and we are being watched when we do well.  I read a FaceBook post a few days ago, where an elderly woman eating at a restaurant, apparently wrote a note to her waiter impressed by the way he carried himself.  He reminded her of her deceased son.  Whether or not this story is true, the fact is we have to ask ourselves how are we being perceived, how do we carry ourselves? Does it matter? Of course it does.  Those of us who are Christians know this is especially true.  We know that many times people are watching to see us mess up, and some people in fact some want us to do well.

As Christians, we are representatives of Jesus.  As such, we must live our lives as much as possible above reproach.  We may make a bad decision once in a while or say something we should not have, but we must push to become the person God wants us to be.  We must be a blessing to everyone we interact with.

How do we emanate the right perception, how do we carry ourselves in a good and positive way? Being a person who emanates a positive perception to others can start with simple actions.  We should treat people with respect and dignity regardless of their station in life.  That may sound snobbish or uppity, but the fact is, many people mistreat those whom they think are 'beneath' them. No human is beneath another human, God made us all, and in His image.  If we remember that, treating everyone we meet with respect will come naturally.  We all want to be heard, and sometimes just being heard by you is all another human being will get.

Sometimes we will miss the mark, but the key is to try continually, it will be worth it.  I will be honest, I struggle with patience.  When we travel to the islands my family and I are from (we are from two different islands that are governed by one flag) we have to take a taxi from the airport to the pier, and then take a ferryboat to the island of our final destination. On the flight from the U.S. a passenger was having trouble storing his luggage in the overhead compartment.  I had no choice but to stand in the aisle, waiting for him to get his luggage stored.  Little did I know that I would be sitting next to him for our trip from The U.S. to the Caribbean.  God does have a sense of humor.  He points out our faults to us, giving us a chance to fix them. The gentleman thanked me profusely for my patience, which made me feel guilty!  Because I really just wanted to sit down.  We chatted on the trip to The Caribbean, and when we landed he thanked me again for my patience and insisted on paying our fare from the airport to the pier.  He would not be refused.  We thanked him and took our taxi to the pier.

Whenever I find myself in a situation where my patience is tested, I remember the above mentioned experiences.  The thing about relationship with Christ is that when He knows we are chasing after Him, when we try, and when we fail; He will test us but He will not leave us.  He will teach us through experiences such as the above, but He will not embarrass us or call us out.  We just have to trust Him to grow us, allow Him to grow us.

When Moses was turning his leadership over to Joshua when the Israelites were about to enter The Promised Land, he said many encouraging things to the people, but one of the things that stood out for me was this: 'The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.' Deuteronomy 31:8.  I know that The Lord is going ahead, before me, to teach me, even reprimand me.  He wants me to be of a positive and good perception.  Amen!