This time of year many of us begin to think about next year. Right after Christmas gifts are opened, many people start thinking about the debt they have incurred, the jobs they must go back to, and what the future holds for the following year.
For the first two or three months of the new year, people consider making changes in their finances: saving more money, putting more away for retirement, and spending less, etc. But financial matters take work and most people are not willing to stick with it for the long haul. But the long haul is what it will take. Anything worth having, and financial security is worth having, takes work. It's not something you can set up once and never review again until the money is needed. Just like anything else of importance, changes and updates will need to be made from time to time. This is especially true when life events happen--expected or unexpected.
Although anytime is a great time to make changes, the beginning of the year is a great time. Everyone considers the new year as a fresh start for saving money, losing weight, and investing in the relationships of family and friends. The new year is traditionally a time of turning over a new leaf.
The fact is however, we must have a plan. We may have the best ideas and the best intentions, but without a plan, its just self-sabotage. The good thing about plans is that they can be tweaked, changed. Allowing for some change removes the frustration that can sometimes set in, when our plans are not going, well, as planned. How much money would we like to save over the next 12 months? Be realistic. We would all like to save much more than we probably actually can, but we must start somewhere. When planning for saving, we must look at our overall budget: income, bills, emergencies, etc. Regardless, I guarantee that if you stick with your plan, by this time next year, you will be pleasantly surprised, and indeed a little proud of yourself.
When planning, remember to include those who will be involved in your venture. If you are married, that means your spouse. If you have children that means they should be involved in saving as well. Children are never too young to understand the value of money. In fact, if they are not taught the value of money when they are very young, they are being set up for when they are accosted by credit card offers on their college campus, or just whimsical spending. They are being set up for financial failure.
Speaking of financial failure, although I do not suggest you run out and spend like crazy because you can eventually recover from losing everything to bankruptcy, job loss, etc., it is not the end of the world. But it does take time to recover, in some cases a very long time. It is best to do things right the first time. Do not be afraid to sit down with a financial counselor. A third party always has an objective viewpoint that you and your family may not be able to see.
This may not be obvious to everyone, so I will say it. Saving money means you will not be able to buy everything you want, at least not right away. If your plan is to save $50 per paycheck, that means $50 that cannot go towards that new pair of shoes, that nice bag, or that sudden road trip. Stick to your plan no matter what, because something will always come up and you will find that you have saved nothing by this time next year.
Finally, like most things of importance in life, you cannot tell everyone what you are doing, just do it! Some friends and family members cannot handle change. If they see you changing for the better, they may mean well, but be on the look out for sabotage. The bottom line is this: many of you are believers who know that God watches over you, but He wants you to use common sense. He wants us to treat our finances with care. Opposition will come in the guise of emergencies and sabotage, but stick with it, and if you do have a true emergency, you will have the money to handle the situation. Just remember to replenish the account.
I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed, safe, and happy new year. Below is one of my favorite passages of scripture. I hope it gives you the same peace it does me.
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’ Numbers 6:24-26.
finance
Friday, December 27, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Where the heart is
'...He raised up for them David as king, to whom also He gave testimony and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22.
This verse has been a source of comfort to me ever since I figured out what it really meant. You see, for a long time I could not understand how God could call David a man after His own heart when David had done so many bad things and made so many wrong decisions. God never changed His mind about what he said in the verse above. After all, David committed adultery, murder, and lust. He even looked the other way when one of his sons raped his own sister. To say that he was the patriarch of a very dysfunctional family is to put it lightly.
What I figured out about David was that he admitted his sins and short comings to God, and asked forgiveness whenever he did wrong.
'Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your loving kindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
This verse has been a source of comfort to me ever since I figured out what it really meant. You see, for a long time I could not understand how God could call David a man after His own heart when David had done so many bad things and made so many wrong decisions. God never changed His mind about what he said in the verse above. After all, David committed adultery, murder, and lust. He even looked the other way when one of his sons raped his own sister. To say that he was the patriarch of a very dysfunctional family is to put it lightly.
What I figured out about David was that he admitted his sins and short comings to God, and asked forgiveness whenever he did wrong.
'Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your loving kindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight— ...' Psalm 51:1-4
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight— ...' Psalm 51:1-4
David's heart was in the right place because he admitted when he was wrong and asked God to forgive him. He was just as human as we are today. He made mistakes, made bad decisions; he went left when he should have gone right. But at the end of the day, He knew that having a right relationship with God was what mattered most.
When we mess up, make a mistake, or make a bad decision, the first step to fixing things is to ask God to forgive us. Once we do that, we are on the way to keeping our heart in the right place.
Beware, when we start down the path of keeping our heart in the right place, we will be misunderstood by many, just like David was. But as we read the Psalms we see that David did not allow naysayers to deter him. Whenever he found himself in trouble with family issues or problems with enemies, he called out to God. Call on God and he will take care of everything. Just make sure your heart is in the right place.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Heaven or Hell?
The last time I posted about loss was about four years ago when I lost an uncle and a very good friend. It was unexpected in one case and expected in another. But no matter how much we prepare for death, it is still unexpected when it happens. It is unexpected because no matter how much we plan: buying the plot, choosing a coffin or a casket, designing the fliers, letting friends and family know, and the list goes on; that person is still gone. There is no more reaching for the phone to tell a joke, in fact, the phone number might as well be deleted. In the place of the phone number, the Face Book page, lunch dates, or going to the movies with a group of friends, is memories and emptiness where that person once existed.
The only consolation, the most important consolation, is to know the person went to Heaven. In most cases we know by the type of life that person lived, exactly where their soul went after death. That is one of the reasons Christians refer to human beings as souls. If we know the person did not live a God kind of life, we are left to wonder if they were able to make their heart right with God in their final moments.
Many people refuse to believe there is a Hell. Some believe there is a Heaven but no Hell, and some believe there is neither. Many of us are aware of the beliefs of most major religions. I am not here to bash religion, any religion. I want to tell about my beliefs which are based on the word of God. "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation." --Hebrews 9:27-28. When we die, whether we believe or not, we will be judged. Proverbs 15:24 says "The way of life winds upward for the wise, That he may turn away from hell below." Heaven and Hell exist.
Death is a fact of life. No one can avoid it, so we might as well talk about it, plan for it, be ready for it. We must include in our planning where we would like to end up when we die. I, like many of you, miss some people who have 'passed on'. We can still hear their voices in our heads. We remember encouraging words, we remember when they made us mad or we made them mad! We remember how their opposite personality brought out the best in us. But they are gone. The only way we will see them again is if we plan to go where we know they went.
People like to tell jokes about how 'hell was full so the devil sent me back', or 'I want to go to hell so I can play pool and hang out with my friends forever.' Trust me, there will be no time to play pool and hang out in Hell. Read the book of Revelations in The Holy Bible for all the details.
Yes, we are all missing someone right now, but the fact is they are gone. Nothing we do can bring them back. The best thing we can do is to be prepared when it is our time to go.
The only consolation, the most important consolation, is to know the person went to Heaven. In most cases we know by the type of life that person lived, exactly where their soul went after death. That is one of the reasons Christians refer to human beings as souls. If we know the person did not live a God kind of life, we are left to wonder if they were able to make their heart right with God in their final moments.
Many people refuse to believe there is a Hell. Some believe there is a Heaven but no Hell, and some believe there is neither. Many of us are aware of the beliefs of most major religions. I am not here to bash religion, any religion. I want to tell about my beliefs which are based on the word of God. "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation." --Hebrews 9:27-28. When we die, whether we believe or not, we will be judged. Proverbs 15:24 says "The way of life winds upward for the wise, That he may turn away from hell below." Heaven and Hell exist.
Death is a fact of life. No one can avoid it, so we might as well talk about it, plan for it, be ready for it. We must include in our planning where we would like to end up when we die. I, like many of you, miss some people who have 'passed on'. We can still hear their voices in our heads. We remember encouraging words, we remember when they made us mad or we made them mad! We remember how their opposite personality brought out the best in us. But they are gone. The only way we will see them again is if we plan to go where we know they went.
People like to tell jokes about how 'hell was full so the devil sent me back', or 'I want to go to hell so I can play pool and hang out with my friends forever.' Trust me, there will be no time to play pool and hang out in Hell. Read the book of Revelations in The Holy Bible for all the details.
Yes, we are all missing someone right now, but the fact is they are gone. Nothing we do can bring them back. The best thing we can do is to be prepared when it is our time to go.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Struggle
I've been thinking about struggle lately, and have come to the conclusion that struggle is a part of life. It is a part of life because we are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world. We struggle with dealing with prayers God has decided not to answer in our lives, we struggle with dealing with personality conflicts, and we struggle with certain decisions we must make. We struggle with plans we must make for the future, we struggle with the memories of past failures, and we struggle with issues we cannot change.
Struggle, I believe, is a part of life whether or not we are living a Christian lifestyle. In fact, I would venture to say that struggle is harder as a Christian because we have committed to living a certain lifestyle in front of the world, and we are being watched. Some are watching to see where our imperfections are, ready to point out when we lose our cool in certain situations or when we make the wrong decisions in other situations. Many non-Christians believe that Christians should be perfect. They do not understand that we are still human and will be until the day we die. The difference is that as Christians, we should be striving after Jesus' word on how to live the Christ following life. We are to be God-chasers, always growing, not keeping the same bad attitudes and bad behaviors year in and year out, hoping no one notices; telling the world that 'this is just the way I am, take it or leave it.'
I believe as Christians, when we mess up or when we do not handle certain situations properly; when we just do not have it in us to deal with certain personalities, we can and should talk to God about it. I believe when He sees that we are trying and that we do not want to remain at the same level but that we want to chase after Him, trying every day to be more like Him, he will forgive us. 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.' Psalm 32:1.
I believe the key as Christians is to realize that we will never be perfect, but that we serve a perfect God who knows we will never be perfect. He knows that we need forgiveness, but it shouldn't be for the same bad attitude from 10 years ago. We should be growing. In fact, we should be growing in all of our relationships, not just the relationship we have with Jesus. But that's another blog for another day. Life is a struggle, but that's no excuse. Let's continue to strive for that right attitude and that right response. It's a struggle, but I know I will.
Struggle, I believe, is a part of life whether or not we are living a Christian lifestyle. In fact, I would venture to say that struggle is harder as a Christian because we have committed to living a certain lifestyle in front of the world, and we are being watched. Some are watching to see where our imperfections are, ready to point out when we lose our cool in certain situations or when we make the wrong decisions in other situations. Many non-Christians believe that Christians should be perfect. They do not understand that we are still human and will be until the day we die. The difference is that as Christians, we should be striving after Jesus' word on how to live the Christ following life. We are to be God-chasers, always growing, not keeping the same bad attitudes and bad behaviors year in and year out, hoping no one notices; telling the world that 'this is just the way I am, take it or leave it.'
I believe as Christians, when we mess up or when we do not handle certain situations properly; when we just do not have it in us to deal with certain personalities, we can and should talk to God about it. I believe when He sees that we are trying and that we do not want to remain at the same level but that we want to chase after Him, trying every day to be more like Him, he will forgive us. 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.' Psalm 32:1.
I believe the key as Christians is to realize that we will never be perfect, but that we serve a perfect God who knows we will never be perfect. He knows that we need forgiveness, but it shouldn't be for the same bad attitude from 10 years ago. We should be growing. In fact, we should be growing in all of our relationships, not just the relationship we have with Jesus. But that's another blog for another day. Life is a struggle, but that's no excuse. Let's continue to strive for that right attitude and that right response. It's a struggle, but I know I will.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Personal poll-taker
I am a personal poll-taker. What is a personal poll-taker you ask? I like to ask people certain questions during the course of conversation then make a mental note of their answer. I have learned quite a bit over the years about human nature. We are more alike than we want to admit. Most of us believe we are so individualistic there is no one else like us on the planet, and of course to some extent that is true. No one has the same fingerprint after all. I find that amazing! But what I am referring to is the fact that we all bleed red blood. We all feel hurt and pain, we all want to live a good life, and we all desire respect.
There is one poll where I don’t ask questions however. I just observe. Please note the word observe. I do not judge, I observe. When we find ourselves in serious trouble: health issues, financial problems, marital problems, and the list goes on; to whom do we turn? I’ve noticed that in the aftermath of horrible events such as thousands killed in earthquakes, terrible tornadoes, debilitating hurricanes, and monsoons, many people turn to God. We turn to Him directly if we are Christ followers and for those who are not, they show up to church for a few Sundays in the aftermath or they ask Christ-following friends to pray for them.
What does this have to do with my poll-taking? I like to see who sticks with God and who forgets once the storm has passed. Do you see why I said in the beginning that I observe I do not judge? It’s not rocket science to watch how people live before, during, and after a time of testing. Some people go back to life as they knew it and others decide they want to continue a relationship with God, with Jesus Christ.
No, all of our problems do not go away once we have a relationship with Christ, but life is put into perspective and we have someone to turn to at all times. Not just when times are bad. We talk to Him and thank Him during the good times as well. That’s what relationship is. It’s not different because it’s with Jesus. Any relationship would suffer or die if it were not maintained. In fact, most of us would be upset if we had a friend who only showed up or called when they needed something. How about you? Is it back to life as usual once the trial is over?
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Tapestry
I recently switched schools for my MBA program. Instead of one six week class continuously except for two weeks off between Christmas and New Years, I am now taking two classes at a time, the classes go for 11 weeks at a time. My Mom asked me if I thought I bit off more than I can chew. I thought for a few seconds and then said 'I can do it.' She said 'ok, that's what I wanted to hear'. Then she quoted that well-known verse, you know the one, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' Philippians 4:13.
For one of my classes I was reading about some regulations that were implemented during Ronald Reagan's presidency. It got me to thinking how although he has been gone for a number of years, his time in the White House continues to resonate down through the years. Then I thought about how he added to the tapestry that makes up not only the United States of America, but to the world.
Not everyone will have the opportunity to have the impact Ronald Reagan did, but that is no excuse for us not to be the best we can be; to make the best contribution to humanity that we can in our corner of our world. As I thought this through, I realized that most people will make an impact upon the world by the way they raise their children and nurture their grand children. For those of us who do not and will not have children, there is still no excuse. What impact are we having on our nieces and nephews? What impact do we have on our family, friends, and co-workers? Whether we like it or not, whether we believe it or not, we too have an impact on the tapestry. Will it be a good impact or a bad impact? Will it be negative or positive?
I recall a conversation I had with my brother a number of years ago. He had to set me straight on my thinking process based on the conversation we were having. He's one of those people who talks to you without talking down to you. He's like a psychologist, asking you questions that make you think about what you are saying until the light bulb goes on in your head! The outcome of that conversation, like the many conversations we have had, has resonated with me down through the years. He makes me think outside the box, something I am not naturally prone to doing. The basic outcome of that conversation was that we are all here for a reason. We are all making a contribution to this planet.
What is your contribution? It can be as small as taking your kids to the park or going to a niece or nephew's game or recital. What I don't think many of us realize is one small thing can impact positively or negatively, another human being. When my Daddy was just a little pre-teen, he took the ferry from one island over to the island on which he lived. Unfortunately he got off at the wrong stop and found that he was lost. He stood there apparently looking lost. A lady noticed he was lost, that he was on the other side of the island from where he was supposed to be. She took him home, fed him and put him to bed with her kids. When he woke up the next morning she had one of her older children walk him home. Now I realize that would be a big risk in this day and age, but in his day, that was perfectly fine. I did not know that story until recently. Why did my Dad tell us the story? Because all of these years later, one of the woman's children was in the audience of a concert my sister and her husband were having at a church in a city in which she was visiting. Someone told her who my sister is. My Dad told us that from the time the lady rescued him, his aunts, who by the way raised him, sent fresh caught fish and other foods to the lady on a regular basis.
Are we perfect? No we're not, but we had better do the best we can by each other as much as possible. We never know where we will end up in life. Regardless, we will be adding to the tapestry. Why not make it a beautiful and positive addition?
For one of my classes I was reading about some regulations that were implemented during Ronald Reagan's presidency. It got me to thinking how although he has been gone for a number of years, his time in the White House continues to resonate down through the years. Then I thought about how he added to the tapestry that makes up not only the United States of America, but to the world.
Not everyone will have the opportunity to have the impact Ronald Reagan did, but that is no excuse for us not to be the best we can be; to make the best contribution to humanity that we can in our corner of our world. As I thought this through, I realized that most people will make an impact upon the world by the way they raise their children and nurture their grand children. For those of us who do not and will not have children, there is still no excuse. What impact are we having on our nieces and nephews? What impact do we have on our family, friends, and co-workers? Whether we like it or not, whether we believe it or not, we too have an impact on the tapestry. Will it be a good impact or a bad impact? Will it be negative or positive?
I recall a conversation I had with my brother a number of years ago. He had to set me straight on my thinking process based on the conversation we were having. He's one of those people who talks to you without talking down to you. He's like a psychologist, asking you questions that make you think about what you are saying until the light bulb goes on in your head! The outcome of that conversation, like the many conversations we have had, has resonated with me down through the years. He makes me think outside the box, something I am not naturally prone to doing. The basic outcome of that conversation was that we are all here for a reason. We are all making a contribution to this planet.
What is your contribution? It can be as small as taking your kids to the park or going to a niece or nephew's game or recital. What I don't think many of us realize is one small thing can impact positively or negatively, another human being. When my Daddy was just a little pre-teen, he took the ferry from one island over to the island on which he lived. Unfortunately he got off at the wrong stop and found that he was lost. He stood there apparently looking lost. A lady noticed he was lost, that he was on the other side of the island from where he was supposed to be. She took him home, fed him and put him to bed with her kids. When he woke up the next morning she had one of her older children walk him home. Now I realize that would be a big risk in this day and age, but in his day, that was perfectly fine. I did not know that story until recently. Why did my Dad tell us the story? Because all of these years later, one of the woman's children was in the audience of a concert my sister and her husband were having at a church in a city in which she was visiting. Someone told her who my sister is. My Dad told us that from the time the lady rescued him, his aunts, who by the way raised him, sent fresh caught fish and other foods to the lady on a regular basis.
Are we perfect? No we're not, but we had better do the best we can by each other as much as possible. We never know where we will end up in life. Regardless, we will be adding to the tapestry. Why not make it a beautiful and positive addition?
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Stay in your lane
I heard a pastor on television this morning say 'if you are doing something good in this world, you will have critics. The only way not to have critics is to do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.' Our critics can be family members, friends, co-workers, or people who just do not like us on sight. You know those people who look the other way every time you walk into the room.
Some people succumb to the pressure and decide to go with the flow, follow the crowd, because it is easier to go along and get along. These people do not realize that the crowd really does not care who they are, but as long as they stay in their place everything will be fine.
There are those of us however, who have decided that we do not need the crowd to survive. We know what we have been called to do and we are in hot pursuit! When we are in hot pursuit it can be lonely and confusing, but we know deep down why we are here. I don't know about you, but once God told me why I was put on this planet, he set the wheels in motion for me to pursue. God does not direct us toward a goal He has not created us to achieve. When we mess up, He does not put us aside and use someone else. He has a purpose for all of us in His Kingdom. He will use our mistakes to guide us toward the very same goal. He does not waste anything!
Do we need friends, family, and associates? Of course we do. Someone else said 'No man is an island.' We need each other, not to use each other, but to help each other, to uplift each other. But if we know there are people in our lives, or even strangers, who do no want us to 'surpass' them or some other family or friend, then we must recognize what is happening, pray for these people and let God work in their lives while He continues to work in our lives.
Some of you may know the story of Jesus when he was just 12 years old, he and his parents went up to Passover which was an annual custom in their day. On their way back home they realized he was not with them! They had to back track, and found him teaching the adults in the Synagogue! They were upset with him asking him why he did this. '...And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.' Luke 2:49-50.
Do not stop, stand still, say nothing, and do nothing, when you know why you are here. That is displeasing to God. Ask Him for strength, and keep on moving!
Some people succumb to the pressure and decide to go with the flow, follow the crowd, because it is easier to go along and get along. These people do not realize that the crowd really does not care who they are, but as long as they stay in their place everything will be fine.
There are those of us however, who have decided that we do not need the crowd to survive. We know what we have been called to do and we are in hot pursuit! When we are in hot pursuit it can be lonely and confusing, but we know deep down why we are here. I don't know about you, but once God told me why I was put on this planet, he set the wheels in motion for me to pursue. God does not direct us toward a goal He has not created us to achieve. When we mess up, He does not put us aside and use someone else. He has a purpose for all of us in His Kingdom. He will use our mistakes to guide us toward the very same goal. He does not waste anything!
Do we need friends, family, and associates? Of course we do. Someone else said 'No man is an island.' We need each other, not to use each other, but to help each other, to uplift each other. But if we know there are people in our lives, or even strangers, who do no want us to 'surpass' them or some other family or friend, then we must recognize what is happening, pray for these people and let God work in their lives while He continues to work in our lives.
Some of you may know the story of Jesus when he was just 12 years old, he and his parents went up to Passover which was an annual custom in their day. On their way back home they realized he was not with them! They had to back track, and found him teaching the adults in the Synagogue! They were upset with him asking him why he did this. '...And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.' Luke 2:49-50.
Do not stop, stand still, say nothing, and do nothing, when you know why you are here. That is displeasing to God. Ask Him for strength, and keep on moving!
Sunday, June 9, 2013
My element
I love to sing. My family loves music. My mother sang soprano and tenor in the church choir for many years. My maternal grandfather played banjo so well he was in several competitions. Although he has gone to Heaven, I can still hear his music in my head. Most of my uncles, my brother, my oldest nephew, and one or two of my aunts, play guitar. Music, singing, runs in our veins.
I love art. I could spend a whole week in any museum. To me, art represents the history, another thing I love, of the people whose drawings, prints, pottery, and clothing I am viewing. I love history because I love to hear where people came from, what their family name means, how they arrived at today. I love to hear the elderly talk about their lives, there is so much wisdom and so much to learn from their experiences.
My element however, is writing. I have been writing since age 11. When I write I get lost in time and in the subject on which I am writing. As I sit here writing this blog, I have two articles and a school paper, all with deadlines on which I am working; not to mention the two books I have been asking God to provide the time for me to work on. Most people would find the thought of all of this writing overwhelming. But the fact is when you are in your element, what others may find difficult you will find easy.
What is your element? Are you doing it or are you making excuses? Your element may not make you money, at least not in the beginning. I would venture to say it is something you can do outside of work. So no, you do not have to give up your job to 'do' your element.
Another way to view element is to see it as the reason you are on this earth. Many of us work day jobs but there is this one thing we love to do, not a hobby, but our element; that not only helps us but helps others. Your element could be that of being a good parent, a tutor, assisting special needs people, etc. If you do not know what your element is, ask God to tell you. I promise when you realize your element and start working on it, you will realize a new sense of fulfillment. You will realize your reason for being here.
I love art. I could spend a whole week in any museum. To me, art represents the history, another thing I love, of the people whose drawings, prints, pottery, and clothing I am viewing. I love history because I love to hear where people came from, what their family name means, how they arrived at today. I love to hear the elderly talk about their lives, there is so much wisdom and so much to learn from their experiences.
My element however, is writing. I have been writing since age 11. When I write I get lost in time and in the subject on which I am writing. As I sit here writing this blog, I have two articles and a school paper, all with deadlines on which I am working; not to mention the two books I have been asking God to provide the time for me to work on. Most people would find the thought of all of this writing overwhelming. But the fact is when you are in your element, what others may find difficult you will find easy.
What is your element? Are you doing it or are you making excuses? Your element may not make you money, at least not in the beginning. I would venture to say it is something you can do outside of work. So no, you do not have to give up your job to 'do' your element.
Another way to view element is to see it as the reason you are on this earth. Many of us work day jobs but there is this one thing we love to do, not a hobby, but our element; that not only helps us but helps others. Your element could be that of being a good parent, a tutor, assisting special needs people, etc. If you do not know what your element is, ask God to tell you. I promise when you realize your element and start working on it, you will realize a new sense of fulfillment. You will realize your reason for being here.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Humility
Humility, some are born with it the rest have to learn it, usually the hard way. When I think of the humble people in my life, I notice one common trait they have. They love God. They decided to put him first. The non-humble people decided to put themselves first.
I like to do my own personal studies of human nature. I guess you can say I am a people watcher. Whether I'm sitting on a park bench at a public venue, reading how people portray themselves on social media, or just listening and watching how people interact with each other. I have even caught myself reviewing how I dealt with a certain situation. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.
To be transparent, I believe I am one who had to learn humility. My parents are humble, but it seems to be the one thing they could not teach me. Life taught me. You see, humility is mentioned several times in the Bible. God seems to appreciate the person who can be humble because those are the people with whom he can more easily work. Have you ever tried to work with someone who was not humble? They know it all, they know more than you do, they don't trust or believe anything anyone else says. It seems like they were born all-knowing!
Humble people on the other hand, maintain a teachable spirit. They may know what you are talking about, but they listen anyway. It's not that they want you to stumble or that they appreciate you showing off, they just know, or have learned how to sit quietly until it is their turn. And when it is their turn, they take their turn with class. Humble people sometimes protect others from themselves. I will let you think about that.
I heard a pastor tell a story recently. He was just starting out in his ministry and had a small congregation. He and some of his leaders invited a well-known man to come and speak to his congregation. They invited people from all around, posted fliers, everyone anticipated hearing from this man. The day before he was supposed to go to speak, he called the pastor and asked him how big his congregation was. When the pastor told him, he told the pastor the congregation was too small and that he had changed his mind. The pastor tried to get him to change his decision but he would not. When everyone showed up, they were told that the speaker would not be there. I can imagine how he felt. He did not tell them why. He protected this speaker from himself.
From all accounts, God dealt with this man. He ended up losing his wealth, his wife, his social standing. He talked about it years later and it so happens the pastor was in attendance to hear this man give the account of how he lost everything. If we do not learn humility, God will teach it to us. I don't know about you, but I would rather learn it on my own.
I don't believe humility is always easy, but I believe it's the best course of action. If we stop trying to fix things, fix people, fix situations, and allow God to work, it is amazing the outcome we will see. I have noticed in my life that humility works much better than not. I have come to appreciate the trait some people so naturally have. It has protected me from silly arguments, bad decisions, and a quick tongue. It has allowed me to let go and let God. Trust me, it's amazing the way God fixes things when we humble ourselves before Him an let him work.
'Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.' Daniel 10:12.
I like to do my own personal studies of human nature. I guess you can say I am a people watcher. Whether I'm sitting on a park bench at a public venue, reading how people portray themselves on social media, or just listening and watching how people interact with each other. I have even caught myself reviewing how I dealt with a certain situation. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.
To be transparent, I believe I am one who had to learn humility. My parents are humble, but it seems to be the one thing they could not teach me. Life taught me. You see, humility is mentioned several times in the Bible. God seems to appreciate the person who can be humble because those are the people with whom he can more easily work. Have you ever tried to work with someone who was not humble? They know it all, they know more than you do, they don't trust or believe anything anyone else says. It seems like they were born all-knowing!
Humble people on the other hand, maintain a teachable spirit. They may know what you are talking about, but they listen anyway. It's not that they want you to stumble or that they appreciate you showing off, they just know, or have learned how to sit quietly until it is their turn. And when it is their turn, they take their turn with class. Humble people sometimes protect others from themselves. I will let you think about that.
I heard a pastor tell a story recently. He was just starting out in his ministry and had a small congregation. He and some of his leaders invited a well-known man to come and speak to his congregation. They invited people from all around, posted fliers, everyone anticipated hearing from this man. The day before he was supposed to go to speak, he called the pastor and asked him how big his congregation was. When the pastor told him, he told the pastor the congregation was too small and that he had changed his mind. The pastor tried to get him to change his decision but he would not. When everyone showed up, they were told that the speaker would not be there. I can imagine how he felt. He did not tell them why. He protected this speaker from himself.
From all accounts, God dealt with this man. He ended up losing his wealth, his wife, his social standing. He talked about it years later and it so happens the pastor was in attendance to hear this man give the account of how he lost everything. If we do not learn humility, God will teach it to us. I don't know about you, but I would rather learn it on my own.
I don't believe humility is always easy, but I believe it's the best course of action. If we stop trying to fix things, fix people, fix situations, and allow God to work, it is amazing the outcome we will see. I have noticed in my life that humility works much better than not. I have come to appreciate the trait some people so naturally have. It has protected me from silly arguments, bad decisions, and a quick tongue. It has allowed me to let go and let God. Trust me, it's amazing the way God fixes things when we humble ourselves before Him an let him work.
'Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.' Daniel 10:12.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Church Folk
In our 'enlightened' age many people do not feel the need to make church attendance a part of their regular schedule. If I were to take a poll to find out why, I would hear varying excuses: 'I can have church at home by listening to a television preacher', or 'my church streams services', or the all time prevailing answer: 'Christians are hypocrites'. I've heard it all, and quite honestly sometimes I don't blame them for that last comment. As Christians we know that as awesome as many of the television pastors are, or how cool it is to watch our own church online, there is nothing like experiencing church in real time. Psalm 133:1 says 'Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity'. Attending church brings unity and gives us a sense of belonging, but more importantly, deepens our commitment and relationship to Christ. Or it should.
I said earlier that I don't blame people who say 'Christians are hypocrites'. That thinking however will not give them a pass go into Heaven. If all it takes to get into Heaven is to tell Jesus that church folk were hypocrites and that you did everything else right, then none of us would need to go to church. I am not saying you have to attend church to get into Heaven, I am saying that part of being Christian is obeying Christ's commands and living the kind of life he lived. If you think you have trouble dealing with church folk, think about what he went through. He was ridiculed in his local synagogue, he had to chase the money lenders out of one synagogue, and we all know who the masterminds were behind getting him killed.
None of us has any excuse for not going to church. Let me tell you a secret: there is no perfect church because there are no perfect people. The key is to find the right Bible-based, Christ-taught church for you. It may not be the same church to which your family has gone for generations. It may not be a 'traditional' church with 'traditional' service times and days. Remember, the key is what is taught. Also remember, the people inside the building came from outside of the building, just like you and I did. Now everyone inside the building is growing at different levels. Some people grow fast like grass in the middle of the Florida rainy season. Some people grow slow like grass in the dessert, in the summertime. On top of the growth process we must all go through, we will always make mistakes. Mistakes that range from simple foot-in-mouth disease to falling, through weakness.
When we go to church we go to gather together but even Jesus knew there were some people in the church who were only there to cause trouble. Ask God to direct you to the right church for you. When you get there, ask Him to direct you to the right groups and the right people. Ask Him for wisdom and for discernment, 'For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.' 1 Corinthians 14:33. What I am saying may sound mean, but the point is we need to be strong enough to be able to deal with and interact with all types of people and personalities or we can break under the pressure. That is not God's best for us. As Christians we are all God's children, but He did not call us to personalize every one's issues and worldly attitudes because they have not grown to where they should be. In those instances we must pray for people then let go and let God.
Stop making excuses for not attending church. Stop allowing people, their personalities, and yet worldly attitudes stop us from our blessings. God has a way of directing our paths and answering our prayers for a job, a house, a car, a spouse, then why not a church?
'Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.' Hebrews 10:23-25.
I said earlier that I don't blame people who say 'Christians are hypocrites'. That thinking however will not give them a pass go into Heaven. If all it takes to get into Heaven is to tell Jesus that church folk were hypocrites and that you did everything else right, then none of us would need to go to church. I am not saying you have to attend church to get into Heaven, I am saying that part of being Christian is obeying Christ's commands and living the kind of life he lived. If you think you have trouble dealing with church folk, think about what he went through. He was ridiculed in his local synagogue, he had to chase the money lenders out of one synagogue, and we all know who the masterminds were behind getting him killed.
None of us has any excuse for not going to church. Let me tell you a secret: there is no perfect church because there are no perfect people. The key is to find the right Bible-based, Christ-taught church for you. It may not be the same church to which your family has gone for generations. It may not be a 'traditional' church with 'traditional' service times and days. Remember, the key is what is taught. Also remember, the people inside the building came from outside of the building, just like you and I did. Now everyone inside the building is growing at different levels. Some people grow fast like grass in the middle of the Florida rainy season. Some people grow slow like grass in the dessert, in the summertime. On top of the growth process we must all go through, we will always make mistakes. Mistakes that range from simple foot-in-mouth disease to falling, through weakness.
When we go to church we go to gather together but even Jesus knew there were some people in the church who were only there to cause trouble. Ask God to direct you to the right church for you. When you get there, ask Him to direct you to the right groups and the right people. Ask Him for wisdom and for discernment, 'For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.' 1 Corinthians 14:33. What I am saying may sound mean, but the point is we need to be strong enough to be able to deal with and interact with all types of people and personalities or we can break under the pressure. That is not God's best for us. As Christians we are all God's children, but He did not call us to personalize every one's issues and worldly attitudes because they have not grown to where they should be. In those instances we must pray for people then let go and let God.
Stop making excuses for not attending church. Stop allowing people, their personalities, and yet worldly attitudes stop us from our blessings. God has a way of directing our paths and answering our prayers for a job, a house, a car, a spouse, then why not a church?
'Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.' Hebrews 10:23-25.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Focus
I tend to be a focused person. Once I decide to do something it gets done. Otherwise, you got it, what's the point? The one time I had a problem with this work ethic was when I started college right out of high school and was for many years a perpetual student. That was until one day my Dad made a comment about starting something and not finishing. His comment so convicted me that I decided to finish college once and for all.
I decided on a school, signed up, and set a schedule that I stuck to for two years. When I graduated with my degree in May of 2012, it was with a pretty decent GPA. During those two years of school everything took a back seat: sleep being one of those things. I didn't see the point of going back to school to slide through and not take classes seriously.
When my youngest nephew was much younger, I had the opportunity to take him to one or two of his soccer games. I used to drill the word focus into his beautiful little soul. So much so that he wrote me a letter thanking me for taking him to his games and for telling him all about the word focus. You know I still have that letter right?
Lately I have felt my focus trying to slip and since I have no intention of letting that happen, I have checked myself. We have to recognize when we are slipping, and check ourselves before we find ourselves having to start over. I don't know about you, but every minute counts once you pass age 40, although since we don't know how much time we have on this planet, we should make every minute count regardless of age.
Know on what you need to focus, and stick to it. Don't let high drama, people who have no goals, and people who don't want you to meet yours, take away your focus. Remember, you only have one life to live. Fortunately I also have friends and family who mean well and try to keep me balanced. Thank you.
Now that I am back in school I face another year and some months of four to five hours of sleep, working a full time job, not to mention the one or two other commitments I have allowed on my plate. Let's just say time is a commodity. Yes, every once in a while I stop and go to the beach, go to the movies, or meet friends for lunch or dinner; but my friends and family know Civilla is in school, Civilla is focused. That's not such a bad thing to be known for is it? On what are you focused?
I decided on a school, signed up, and set a schedule that I stuck to for two years. When I graduated with my degree in May of 2012, it was with a pretty decent GPA. During those two years of school everything took a back seat: sleep being one of those things. I didn't see the point of going back to school to slide through and not take classes seriously.
When my youngest nephew was much younger, I had the opportunity to take him to one or two of his soccer games. I used to drill the word focus into his beautiful little soul. So much so that he wrote me a letter thanking me for taking him to his games and for telling him all about the word focus. You know I still have that letter right?
Lately I have felt my focus trying to slip and since I have no intention of letting that happen, I have checked myself. We have to recognize when we are slipping, and check ourselves before we find ourselves having to start over. I don't know about you, but every minute counts once you pass age 40, although since we don't know how much time we have on this planet, we should make every minute count regardless of age.
Know on what you need to focus, and stick to it. Don't let high drama, people who have no goals, and people who don't want you to meet yours, take away your focus. Remember, you only have one life to live. Fortunately I also have friends and family who mean well and try to keep me balanced. Thank you.
Now that I am back in school I face another year and some months of four to five hours of sleep, working a full time job, not to mention the one or two other commitments I have allowed on my plate. Let's just say time is a commodity. Yes, every once in a while I stop and go to the beach, go to the movies, or meet friends for lunch or dinner; but my friends and family know Civilla is in school, Civilla is focused. That's not such a bad thing to be known for is it? On what are you focused?
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Blessed not Bitter
I've been thinking about decisions lately. The book I'm working on is consuming my every waking thoughts probably because I wish I had more time to work on it. Much of the book is about the decisions some women made long ago, and decisions we must make today. Every day we have to make choices. Should I make coffee at home or buy some on the way to work? Should I wear a blazer or a sweater? Should I take a left to get to work, or should I go straight? Should I allow life to get to me or should I 'let it go.' You know, 'it', when customers yell at you out of their personal frustrations, when people get offended over a molehill they decided to turn into a mountain because of their personal issues. What about when your life just did not turn out the way you expected and people blame you. Yes, even absolute strangers. People are amazing.
Even so, bitterness will hurt us more than it will hurt anyone else. We cannot allow bitterness to take root. Bitterness does not add it takes away. Bitterness makes us sad, angry, grouchy, and pathetic; or should I say apathetic? On the other hand, taking on an attitude of blessing sends a message to ourselves as well as others, that we will allow God to work in our lives. Of course we will have our moments, we're human, but we have to make the decision to turn it around. 'It', the feelings of bitterness that try to rise up.
You know what I've noticed about the valleys of life, they make us stronger, and if we allow God to work in those valleys, He will make all our crooked ways straight. He will right our wrongs, He will step into our lives and make things better than we could ever expect. He will even walk with us through the valley.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13.
Like many Christians, Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite Bible verses but most people forget about the verses before and after. If you read verses 12 and 13 closely you will see that we have to seek God and we have to seek Him with all of our heart. You know, I never noticed that last 'me', it's italicized, which typically means an emphasis. That means to me that God is the only one, the only 'me', we should be seeking. When we do this we will find that bitterness cannot stay in our hearts and minds very long. We will have no choice but to decide to be blessed.
Let's make the decision to be blessed not bitter. Sometimes the decision is minute by minute, sometimes its day by day, but make the decision and let God do the rest.
Even so, bitterness will hurt us more than it will hurt anyone else. We cannot allow bitterness to take root. Bitterness does not add it takes away. Bitterness makes us sad, angry, grouchy, and pathetic; or should I say apathetic? On the other hand, taking on an attitude of blessing sends a message to ourselves as well as others, that we will allow God to work in our lives. Of course we will have our moments, we're human, but we have to make the decision to turn it around. 'It', the feelings of bitterness that try to rise up.
You know what I've noticed about the valleys of life, they make us stronger, and if we allow God to work in those valleys, He will make all our crooked ways straight. He will right our wrongs, He will step into our lives and make things better than we could ever expect. He will even walk with us through the valley.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13.
Like many Christians, Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite Bible verses but most people forget about the verses before and after. If you read verses 12 and 13 closely you will see that we have to seek God and we have to seek Him with all of our heart. You know, I never noticed that last 'me', it's italicized, which typically means an emphasis. That means to me that God is the only one, the only 'me', we should be seeking. When we do this we will find that bitterness cannot stay in our hearts and minds very long. We will have no choice but to decide to be blessed.
Let's make the decision to be blessed not bitter. Sometimes the decision is minute by minute, sometimes its day by day, but make the decision and let God do the rest.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
My heart was set
Have you ever just known, I mean you knew without a doubt, that something you had hoped for or just assumed, would happen. I mean there was no doubt and you didn't even give it a second thought because you just knew! And then it didn't happen. I'm not talking about a trip you had planned or a college to which you applied. I'm talking about something that when it did not happen it rocked you to your core.
I believe if something like this has never happened to you, you are fortunate. But really, you haven't lived until you have had to fight for every minute of every day, minute by minute. Sounds rough huh? Well there are a lot of people going through this very scenario. Some people survive the blow and some do not. For some it's the loss of a loved one they thought would be around for at least a very long time. For others its a prayer God did not answer. It's pretty tough when you pray for years for something and God does not answer.
What do you do, how do you recover, how do you make it through the rest of your life? There are a lot of smug answers: 'well God is in control' or 'we live in a fallen world', or what about this one 'we will understand it better by and by.' When is 'by and by'? Why do we have to wait until then to understand?
A lot of things do not make sense and as human beings, we want things to make sense. What do we do when we can't get things to make sense? We struggle with 'it' making sense one day and then the next day we're back to being completely dumbfounded. We want two and two to add up to four and it just isn't adding up.
Let me tell you from my humble perch. I am there. I want you to know that if I can make it so can you. Allow yourself to question God, allow yourself to struggle until you just don't struggle anymore. Whatever you do, don't give up, keep going. If you don't have a core group of trusted people to talk to, seek professional help. One day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will use your experience to help someone else. Sure, you would prefer that your prayers had been answered but they weren't. You won't be the first and you won't be the last, neither will I. Take every bit of your experience and put it to good use. Everything will be alright.
I believe if something like this has never happened to you, you are fortunate. But really, you haven't lived until you have had to fight for every minute of every day, minute by minute. Sounds rough huh? Well there are a lot of people going through this very scenario. Some people survive the blow and some do not. For some it's the loss of a loved one they thought would be around for at least a very long time. For others its a prayer God did not answer. It's pretty tough when you pray for years for something and God does not answer.
What do you do, how do you recover, how do you make it through the rest of your life? There are a lot of smug answers: 'well God is in control' or 'we live in a fallen world', or what about this one 'we will understand it better by and by.' When is 'by and by'? Why do we have to wait until then to understand?
A lot of things do not make sense and as human beings, we want things to make sense. What do we do when we can't get things to make sense? We struggle with 'it' making sense one day and then the next day we're back to being completely dumbfounded. We want two and two to add up to four and it just isn't adding up.
Let me tell you from my humble perch. I am there. I want you to know that if I can make it so can you. Allow yourself to question God, allow yourself to struggle until you just don't struggle anymore. Whatever you do, don't give up, keep going. If you don't have a core group of trusted people to talk to, seek professional help. One day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will use your experience to help someone else. Sure, you would prefer that your prayers had been answered but they weren't. You won't be the first and you won't be the last, neither will I. Take every bit of your experience and put it to good use. Everything will be alright.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Let's go to the casino!
Co-worker: Hey Civilla, let's go to the casino?
Me: he he he, funny.
Co-worker: Come on, I've been asking you to go.
Me: Let me ask you a question? I'm on the prayer team at church, what do you think I should do, should I go to the casino with you then go to church and pray?
(queue laughter from a co-worker sitting nearby.)
End of conversation...for now, I'm sure.
That conversation got me to thinking, for the millionth time, about people who straddle the fence. Fence straddling is one of my pet-peeves. Pick a side! Whether it is relationship with Christ or not, or casino or not. There is a saying 'if you don't stand up for something you will fall for anything.' I'm not sure who said it, but it's true. It is very easy to get on the latest bandwagon if you don't know where you stand.
Do the research, saying you do not care is a cop out. It turns out by the way, that God doesn't care much for fence straddlers either:
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelations 3:14-16.
For the record, I get along well with this co-worker. Most of my co-workers know that I have picked a side. Am I perfect? No. Who is? But they see me striving daily to have the right attitude, trying not to trip over myself, dealing with bad news and bad days. They know for a fact that I have picked a side and it has nothing to do with a casino.
You know this, but I will say it anyway: people know exactly what you stand for as a Christian, but they will try you anyway. If you are not straddling the fence you have nothing to worry about because you have picked a side!
Me: he he he, funny.
Co-worker: Come on, I've been asking you to go.
Me: Let me ask you a question? I'm on the prayer team at church, what do you think I should do, should I go to the casino with you then go to church and pray?
(queue laughter from a co-worker sitting nearby.)
End of conversation...for now, I'm sure.
That conversation got me to thinking, for the millionth time, about people who straddle the fence. Fence straddling is one of my pet-peeves. Pick a side! Whether it is relationship with Christ or not, or casino or not. There is a saying 'if you don't stand up for something you will fall for anything.' I'm not sure who said it, but it's true. It is very easy to get on the latest bandwagon if you don't know where you stand.
Do the research, saying you do not care is a cop out. It turns out by the way, that God doesn't care much for fence straddlers either:
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelations 3:14-16.
For the record, I get along well with this co-worker. Most of my co-workers know that I have picked a side. Am I perfect? No. Who is? But they see me striving daily to have the right attitude, trying not to trip over myself, dealing with bad news and bad days. They know for a fact that I have picked a side and it has nothing to do with a casino.
You know this, but I will say it anyway: people know exactly what you stand for as a Christian, but they will try you anyway. If you are not straddling the fence you have nothing to worry about because you have picked a side!
Sunday, March 31, 2013
I know my faults
When we decide to become Christians, Christ followers, we also decide to give all of our faults and failures to Jesus. When we ask him to forgive us He does. Then we live the rest of our Christ following lives striving to be more like Him. Will we ever achieve perfection? Absolutely not. But that is no excuse to remain the way we were before we became Christians. We are not supposed to remain the same, otherwise what is the point?
If we remain the same, we go to church but we do not live a redeemed life. We come out the same way we went in Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. What's the point of going? Oh, wait, you thought I would tell you my faults? No! I will tell you that it is important that we all know our faults. We should not ignore them or make excuses for them, we should confront them and daily work to overcome them. As I said before, we will never be perfect but our heart will be different.
Our heart, that is the key. Every time I think about the condition of the heart, I think about King David. He did so many bad things, made bad decisions, but God loved him because his heart was always in the right place and he was repentant. He knew his faults. We have to know our faults, confess our faults, and work on them daily. Sometimes we will fail miserably, and other times we will gain the victory. Psalm 51 tells the story of when Nathan the prophet called David out for committing murder and adultery. Those are two pretty heavy duty sins, but God forgave him. Oh, he punished him, but He forgave him.
As I look back over the years, I can without a doubt say that I have changed for the better. My family sees the changes as they look back over the years too. It is important to me that others see the changes in me, but most of all it is important that God sees the change. When He sees the changes He trusts us more. When He trusts us more He tests us more. The thing about God trusting us more is that He can allow some really painful things into our lives. Maybe that is why some people are content with their personal status quo.
Just a few years ago I would never have asked forgiveness of the person who methodically worked to successfully toss me out of something I started. I learned quite a bit about that situation and about my growth. In fact, when things like this happen, it should teach us about our future decision-making process. Never let anything bad or good, go to waste. God doesn't.
I have never been a status quo person. Good enough is not good enough. That personality trait tends to drive some people crazy, but again I say, status quo cannot be good enough. Let us grow daily and not remain on the same level for the rest of our lives, otherwise, what is the point?
If we remain the same, we go to church but we do not live a redeemed life. We come out the same way we went in Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. What's the point of going? Oh, wait, you thought I would tell you my faults? No! I will tell you that it is important that we all know our faults. We should not ignore them or make excuses for them, we should confront them and daily work to overcome them. As I said before, we will never be perfect but our heart will be different.
Our heart, that is the key. Every time I think about the condition of the heart, I think about King David. He did so many bad things, made bad decisions, but God loved him because his heart was always in the right place and he was repentant. He knew his faults. We have to know our faults, confess our faults, and work on them daily. Sometimes we will fail miserably, and other times we will gain the victory. Psalm 51 tells the story of when Nathan the prophet called David out for committing murder and adultery. Those are two pretty heavy duty sins, but God forgave him. Oh, he punished him, but He forgave him.
As I look back over the years, I can without a doubt say that I have changed for the better. My family sees the changes as they look back over the years too. It is important to me that others see the changes in me, but most of all it is important that God sees the change. When He sees the changes He trusts us more. When He trusts us more He tests us more. The thing about God trusting us more is that He can allow some really painful things into our lives. Maybe that is why some people are content with their personal status quo.
Just a few years ago I would never have asked forgiveness of the person who methodically worked to successfully toss me out of something I started. I learned quite a bit about that situation and about my growth. In fact, when things like this happen, it should teach us about our future decision-making process. Never let anything bad or good, go to waste. God doesn't.
I have never been a status quo person. Good enough is not good enough. That personality trait tends to drive some people crazy, but again I say, status quo cannot be good enough. Let us grow daily and not remain on the same level for the rest of our lives, otherwise, what is the point?
Friday, March 15, 2013
The grass is not greener
If I had a nickel, no a penny, for every time someone said to me "You have it easy because you're single no dependents", or "You can get up and go whenever you want", or "You're not married, oh I'm sorry" (queue the violins playing in the background), or my personal favorite, "Oh you don't want to be married, having a husband is like having another child", I would be a multi-millionaire. Fortunately I have come to view money as a tool, so those millions of dollars would be used to further The Kingdom of God; but alas, I digress.
The fact is, if you are married, with or without children, then God bless you; but please do not look over the fence and tell me how easy my life is. Just like married people, single people have bills to pay, we have to work long hours, save for emergencies, and save for retirement. In fact, as single people we had better plan properly for our elder years or we may find ourselves in deeper trouble than our married counterparts. Have you thought about that? I am not trying to transmit hater vibes, I just want all of us to view life from different vantage points. Married people have struggles and single people have struggles. On whatever side of the fence we find ourselves, we must strive to be content, to do the best with what we have and where we are in life. "...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound". Philippians 4:11-12. I don't usually like to pluck portions of verses out, but you get my meaning, and I don't believe I'm taking anything out of context. Of course, why not just take a moment to read the entire chapter of Philippians?
Bottom line, if you are married, strive to strengthen your marriage relationship. For those of us who are single, we must strive to strengthen our relationships, know and be comfortable with who we are, and do not allow ourselves or anyone else to make us feel second class.
Lastly, married or single, we must be careful whom we allow to speak into our lives. Life is short and it definitely does not always turn out as we expect. The best course of action: We should do the best with what we have, and live our best life ever, married or single.
The fact is, if you are married, with or without children, then God bless you; but please do not look over the fence and tell me how easy my life is. Just like married people, single people have bills to pay, we have to work long hours, save for emergencies, and save for retirement. In fact, as single people we had better plan properly for our elder years or we may find ourselves in deeper trouble than our married counterparts. Have you thought about that? I am not trying to transmit hater vibes, I just want all of us to view life from different vantage points. Married people have struggles and single people have struggles. On whatever side of the fence we find ourselves, we must strive to be content, to do the best with what we have and where we are in life. "...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound". Philippians 4:11-12. I don't usually like to pluck portions of verses out, but you get my meaning, and I don't believe I'm taking anything out of context. Of course, why not just take a moment to read the entire chapter of Philippians?
Bottom line, if you are married, strive to strengthen your marriage relationship. For those of us who are single, we must strive to strengthen our relationships, know and be comfortable with who we are, and do not allow ourselves or anyone else to make us feel second class.
Lastly, married or single, we must be careful whom we allow to speak into our lives. Life is short and it definitely does not always turn out as we expect. The best course of action: We should do the best with what we have, and live our best life ever, married or single.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Pride
A few weeks ago, my pastor spoke on the sin of pride. Yes, it's a sin. In reviewing my sermon notes he said 'pride is a condition of the heart' and 'sneaky pride touts itself as humility.' Pride is a pretty serious deal. As you can see, I'm not talking about the kind of pride where we take a shower, brush our teeth, and comb our hair. That's a different type of pride, and the world will thank us for taking care of those things before we leave the house.
But that other pride, well, its no good. "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18. Why is pride destructive? Because it keeps the one who is prideful from meeting their full potential and from obtaining favor. Who wants to help a prideful person, I don't. It's too difficult. Compliment a prideful person and they can't manage a 'thank you'. They have to compliment you back, or seem almost offended. Offer to buy a prideful friend lunch or dinner, and they turn you down but in the future offer to buy you lunch or dinner.
I like to call prideful people pretenders. They can be going down for the last count financially, but pretend to the world that all is well. The only problem is the only person they are fooling is themselves. Prideful people think they are being given a handout or that they are being pitied. Nothing can be further from the truth. The truth is if you are a friend we just want to give. If you are a stranger, we just want to give. There are people on this planet who give without ulterior motives.
Another trait I have found in prideful people is that they are strong willed people. There is nothing wrong with being strong willed, you need it to make it in this world; to make it through the pot holes, speed bumps, and road blocks of life. Leave the strong willed bit for making it through life, not for making it through life with people who care. The bottom line is, say thanks for the cup of coffee or lunch and save the pride for your appearance.
But that other pride, well, its no good. "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18. Why is pride destructive? Because it keeps the one who is prideful from meeting their full potential and from obtaining favor. Who wants to help a prideful person, I don't. It's too difficult. Compliment a prideful person and they can't manage a 'thank you'. They have to compliment you back, or seem almost offended. Offer to buy a prideful friend lunch or dinner, and they turn you down but in the future offer to buy you lunch or dinner.
I like to call prideful people pretenders. They can be going down for the last count financially, but pretend to the world that all is well. The only problem is the only person they are fooling is themselves. Prideful people think they are being given a handout or that they are being pitied. Nothing can be further from the truth. The truth is if you are a friend we just want to give. If you are a stranger, we just want to give. There are people on this planet who give without ulterior motives.
Another trait I have found in prideful people is that they are strong willed people. There is nothing wrong with being strong willed, you need it to make it in this world; to make it through the pot holes, speed bumps, and road blocks of life. Leave the strong willed bit for making it through life, not for making it through life with people who care. The bottom line is, say thanks for the cup of coffee or lunch and save the pride for your appearance.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Bad things
As we continue to make our way into the new year, it is very easy to look back at all of the bad things that have happened to us, family, and friends. We may even blame God for not working things out in our favor. It is human nature to want to lay blame because somehow that gives us closure. If we have no one to blame, the issue tends to stick around until we find some way to deal with it.
Sometimes however, there is no one and nothing to blame. Life happens and there are some things in life to which we will never have the answer. When these problems arise, we must decide if we will let them affect us by allowing them to hang around for the rest of our lives, or if we will gain control and make the decision to move on with what we have left.
I am not saying we should forget. There are some things we cannot and should not forget because if we do, the issue may repeat itself. We should not forget whole groups of people who are murdered in cold blood. We should not forget the loss of a loved one. We should not forget the loss of a dream or hope. We should not forget an unanswered prayer. We should remember though, that we are still alive. Dreams and hopes change. We can keep positive memories of loved ones in our hearts. And we can learn to live, in a positive and uplifting way, with our unanswered prayer.
Life is all about choices. We can choose to live the best life possible. We can choose what kind of life we would like to live. We can choose to look back at the bad things or choose to forge ahead and choose the good things?
'His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10 NIV.
Sometimes however, there is no one and nothing to blame. Life happens and there are some things in life to which we will never have the answer. When these problems arise, we must decide if we will let them affect us by allowing them to hang around for the rest of our lives, or if we will gain control and make the decision to move on with what we have left.
I am not saying we should forget. There are some things we cannot and should not forget because if we do, the issue may repeat itself. We should not forget whole groups of people who are murdered in cold blood. We should not forget the loss of a loved one. We should not forget the loss of a dream or hope. We should not forget an unanswered prayer. We should remember though, that we are still alive. Dreams and hopes change. We can keep positive memories of loved ones in our hearts. And we can learn to live, in a positive and uplifting way, with our unanswered prayer.
Life is all about choices. We can choose to live the best life possible. We can choose what kind of life we would like to live. We can choose to look back at the bad things or choose to forge ahead and choose the good things?
'His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10 NIV.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Cliques
I am so glad Jesus did not have a cliquey attitude towards people. He spoke with, cared about, and loved everyone he came in contact with; even when they did not feel the same way about him.
In one of my morning devotions this week, the story of Zacchaeus was discussed in the context of 'making it right', which was the title of the devotional. The author discussed how Zacchaeus repented of his sins upon meeting Jesus, and promising to make things right. But as I read the devotional, it occurred to me that although others grumbled at what nerve Jesus had for sitting down for dinner with a known thief, Jesus did not care.
'And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. And behold, there was a man name Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich. And he sought to see Jesus, who he was, and could not, for the press, because he was little in stature. And he ran before, and climbed, up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house. And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it they murmured saying, that he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner.'-Luke 19:1-7.
You see, Jesus did not care what others thought, He was about Kingdom Business. He wants as many people as possible to be with him in Heaven so what people think here on Earth does not matter. Jesus knew who his core group was, his disciples. Those were the people with whom he shared living space, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner; shared deep discussions. Jesus knew the difference between the people with whom he had deeper relationships and the people with whom he had to interact in order to heal their hearts. He spoke with people of 'ill-repute' (the woman at the well), people who did not fit in (the woman with the issue of blood), Zacchaeus (tax collector who skimmed then pocketed the difference), and the list goes on.
Jesus could not attend church and sit in the same pew on the same side of the church every Sunday, talking only to the people whom he knew and looking the other way when strangers sat nearby. He did not run people through a battery of tests before accepting them, but used discernment. He knew when to shake the dust off of his shoes and keep walking. He used common sense.
No one gets along or is loved by everyone, but as Christians, we must allow ourselves to be approachable and when lead, we must cultivate the ability to approach anyone. This is definitely harder for some of us to do than others, but I believe as reserved as some of us are, people can sense that we will respond positively when approached. That is the Christian attitude and way of life. Let's work on it.
In one of my morning devotions this week, the story of Zacchaeus was discussed in the context of 'making it right', which was the title of the devotional. The author discussed how Zacchaeus repented of his sins upon meeting Jesus, and promising to make things right. But as I read the devotional, it occurred to me that although others grumbled at what nerve Jesus had for sitting down for dinner with a known thief, Jesus did not care.
'And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. And behold, there was a man name Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich. And he sought to see Jesus, who he was, and could not, for the press, because he was little in stature. And he ran before, and climbed, up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house. And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it they murmured saying, that he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner.'-Luke 19:1-7.
You see, Jesus did not care what others thought, He was about Kingdom Business. He wants as many people as possible to be with him in Heaven so what people think here on Earth does not matter. Jesus knew who his core group was, his disciples. Those were the people with whom he shared living space, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner; shared deep discussions. Jesus knew the difference between the people with whom he had deeper relationships and the people with whom he had to interact in order to heal their hearts. He spoke with people of 'ill-repute' (the woman at the well), people who did not fit in (the woman with the issue of blood), Zacchaeus (tax collector who skimmed then pocketed the difference), and the list goes on.
Jesus could not attend church and sit in the same pew on the same side of the church every Sunday, talking only to the people whom he knew and looking the other way when strangers sat nearby. He did not run people through a battery of tests before accepting them, but used discernment. He knew when to shake the dust off of his shoes and keep walking. He used common sense.
No one gets along or is loved by everyone, but as Christians, we must allow ourselves to be approachable and when lead, we must cultivate the ability to approach anyone. This is definitely harder for some of us to do than others, but I believe as reserved as some of us are, people can sense that we will respond positively when approached. That is the Christian attitude and way of life. Let's work on it.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Fodder
For many years I prayed for healing. I hoped and prayed, knowing God would heal me, assuming He was taking so long because I am apparently a 'late bloomer.' Every good thing that has happened in my life has happened later in my life than most people. Life is like that for many of us. So when the healing did not happen, I was initially alright, but then things began to go downhill. I had to step out of myself and my normal way of dealing with pain, to get things under control. But in the middle of all of those years, and even now, I have had to deal with fodder. What is fodder? Fodder= fod·der noun.
For the purpose of this post, I will use meanings one and two, but I will modify meaning number two since I do not believe human beings should be considered fodder. Although I consider myself to have a sense of humor, I am not a comedian, so meaning number three is out.
So, I, like everyone else I am sure, has had to deal with foot-in-mouth syndrome. Fortunately, for those of us who may be prone to this syndrome, we know we have the syndrome and we work on it instead of making excuses for why we can't change. After all, if we do not admit our weaknesses as well as your strengths, our weaknesses can run and potentially ruin your life. It does not have to be that way. At any rate, that is another subject for another day.
Fodder. Many of us have secret hurts and unanswered prayers that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. We do not usually discuss this things with strangers or even with acquaintances. Our family members and close friends probably know, and those are the people to whom we turn. But some things are evident to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, others. And although these things are evident, some people have decided that they would 'go there'. These people have decided for their own reasons: pride, jealousy, envy, low self-esteem, to allow fodder to come out of their mouths. This is usually done in an effort to make themselves seem or feel bigger, due to their own struggle, realized or un-realized, of the before mentioned nouns.
You see, when people--Christians and non-Christians--struggle with these issues, they will take it out on the person standing closest to them. We must decide how to deal with the fodder that comes out of these people's mouths. We can allow the fodder to set us up for a daily fight. We can become bitter towards people in general, or we can use the fodder to help others and ourselves. I have decided to do just that. I have decided that whenever someone comes down with foot-in-mouth syndrome at my expense, or they allow fodder to come out of their mouth because of pride, jealousy, envy, or low self-esteem, I will use what they say in my next book, in a positive and tasteful way.
For those of you who do not write, I would suggest taking fodder and turning it around for the positive. Do not allow fodder and foot-in-mouth disease to take you to a negative place. It's not worth it to you or to those around you. I would also pray for these people, because usually it is a handful of repeat offenders, so you know who they are. And remember that we are all human. Any of us can succumb to foot-in-mouth disease. We all make mistakes. I am referring though, to people who usually know exactly what they are doing.
Be wise about who you spend time with, remain positive, pray for these people, and turn fodder into something positive. If this helps, remember that when animals eat fodder, it does not kill them, it is for their good and for ours, in the end.
1. coarse food for livestock, composed of entire plants, including leaves, stalks, and grain, of such forages as corn and sorghum. 2. people considered as readily available and of little value: cannon fodder. 3. raw material: fodder for a comedian's routine. (Dictionary.com).
So, I, like everyone else I am sure, has had to deal with foot-in-mouth syndrome. Fortunately, for those of us who may be prone to this syndrome, we know we have the syndrome and we work on it instead of making excuses for why we can't change. After all, if we do not admit our weaknesses as well as your strengths, our weaknesses can run and potentially ruin your life. It does not have to be that way. At any rate, that is another subject for another day.
Fodder. Many of us have secret hurts and unanswered prayers that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. We do not usually discuss this things with strangers or even with acquaintances. Our family members and close friends probably know, and those are the people to whom we turn. But some things are evident to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, others. And although these things are evident, some people have decided that they would 'go there'. These people have decided for their own reasons: pride, jealousy, envy, low self-esteem, to allow fodder to come out of their mouths. This is usually done in an effort to make themselves seem or feel bigger, due to their own struggle, realized or un-realized, of the before mentioned nouns.
You see, when people--Christians and non-Christians--struggle with these issues, they will take it out on the person standing closest to them. We must decide how to deal with the fodder that comes out of these people's mouths. We can allow the fodder to set us up for a daily fight. We can become bitter towards people in general, or we can use the fodder to help others and ourselves. I have decided to do just that. I have decided that whenever someone comes down with foot-in-mouth syndrome at my expense, or they allow fodder to come out of their mouth because of pride, jealousy, envy, or low self-esteem, I will use what they say in my next book, in a positive and tasteful way.
For those of you who do not write, I would suggest taking fodder and turning it around for the positive. Do not allow fodder and foot-in-mouth disease to take you to a negative place. It's not worth it to you or to those around you. I would also pray for these people, because usually it is a handful of repeat offenders, so you know who they are. And remember that we are all human. Any of us can succumb to foot-in-mouth disease. We all make mistakes. I am referring though, to people who usually know exactly what they are doing.
Be wise about who you spend time with, remain positive, pray for these people, and turn fodder into something positive. If this helps, remember that when animals eat fodder, it does not kill them, it is for their good and for ours, in the end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)