Evil eye, side eye

You know the look.  People you don’t know, at least you do not think you know them.  People who look at you like you did something really bad to them, and they are going to get you back somehow.  But you do not know them!  You just know you have never met them before!  You sit for a moment, going backwards in your memory bank, trying to place the name, the face, the name and the face.  But you just cannot place the person.  You cannot place the person because you do not know the person!

Stop hurting your brain muscle trying to place that person.  You really do not know them, and they do not know you.  You may remind them of someone.  You may be wearing a dress or pair of shoes they like.  It is after all, usually the petty little things that wake up the green eyed monster.  But what this person or these people do not know, and what you do not need to tell them, is what you had to go through.

You see, people do not understand, and in many cases will never understand, what you had to go through to get where you are or where you are going.  They do not know that some days you forget to eat because you become so involved in the plan. They do not know that most days you do not lay your head on your pillow until 2 a.m.  They do not know the relationships that have fallen away, relationships you thought would last forever.  Relationships that fell away because you did not or could not nurture them; or because God said ‘no more’, to those relationships.

They see the end results, and they make little guttural noises as they walk by you.  They make little comments that they somehow hope you missed and understood at the same time.  They gossip about you to people who will either think for themselves, or not.  And they keep tabs on you without encouraging you.

But know this: when you set out to follow the plan, whether it is a dream you have always had, or something God told you to do; just do it.  Do it knowing that not everyone who started on your journey will finish with you.  Not everyone who smiles with you wishes you well.  Not everyone will be able to keep up, because it is not their journey, it is yours.  They will need to find their own path. Because they are no longer on the journey with you does not mean that their journey is not just as important, it means it is their journey. 

Portions of your journey will be lonely even if you are surrounded by people, because you are the one who heard the word.  What you heard clearly may sound like foolishness to others.  Know that the handful of people who remain, who encourage you even if they do not fully understand, are gems. Be thankful for them.

Do not worry about the evil eye from strangers or people you know.  Concentrate on your journey, because life is short.  Stopping to make everyone comfortable with you, with your journey, will not be possible; and in many cases not worth it.  Do not allow yourself to become bogged down in nonsense and noise.  Smile, do your best wherever and whenever you are, stick to your schedule; and don’t forget to eat!