That's the spirit!

Spirit.  This word is used to describe everything from personalities to apparitions.  People with spirit are typically described as having high energy, being the life of the party, and easy to get along with. Some people even call alcoholic beverages spirits.  Going just a little further, sometimes people use the term spirit as a verb. Example: 'the kids spirited away the chalk before the teacher came into the class room.'  

But what about you, your spirit?  When you listen to music how does it make you feel? What thoughts enter your mind?  Do you feel negative or do you feel positive?  Do the lyrics speak life to you, or do they speak death? What is the spirit of the music? When you read a book or watch a TV show or movie, how does the content make you feel?  Do you walk away feeling encouraged, discouraged, hateful?  What many people do not understand is how their spirit is negatively or positively affected by the things life presents to us.  Some people do not understand why they feel a certain way after walking away from a conversation, a movie, or a song they just heard. 

Job 32:8 says 'But it is the spirit{a)} in a person, the breath of the Almighty that gives them understanding.' (Biblegateway.com, NIV).  Some have argued that all sentient beings have a spirit and a soul.  Some believe that animals go to heaven when they die, like humans do.  I really do not know.  What I know is that we as human beings need to diligently guard our soul and spirit.  This means that we should make specific choices about what we choose to read, and what we choose to watch, and what we choose to listen to.  This is not about censorship, unless that is what you want it to be. This is about protecting your spirit.  

Think about it, we are all different and the same event can affect us differently.  We all like to think we are tough, and that not much can affect us, especially some book or some song.  But if you think about the last time an event, a book, or a song affected you for the good or for the bad; how long did the impression last?  How long did it 'weigh' on your spirit if it was negative, or lift your spirit it was a positive event?  Be honest.  When you honestly review what you are watching and listening to, all the world's negative assaults will quickly know their place in your life.  The good stuff will be just that, the good stuff.  The things that enhance your life and even help you through difficult times instead of making difficult times even worse.  Bottom line: protect your spirit. 

I intend to...

Intention. It seems like an innocuous word filled with hope doesn't it? Honestly, it's a word that gets on my nerves because it is usually preceded by some task that was supposed to be completed but was not.  Usually the task or event was not done because something else got in the way.  'I intended to wash the dishes, but I got caught up in a long telephone call with Aunt Nelly'.  I intended to go to church this morning, but I decided to sleep in after a late night of studying'.  'I intended to finish my homework by the deadline, but I got sidetracked'.  Excuses, all excuses.  Even if the excuse is a good one, it is still an excuse.  And though I believe intentions not followed through are excuses, we will all be found guilty of these in-completes at one time or another through out our lives. The best we can do is to make sure our in-completes become less as we mature.

We can do this by making sure we do not have too much on our plates at any given time.  We have to make our no mean no, and our yes mean yes.  It takes work, we might lose friends and acquaintances, but we must remember that we only live once and life is short.  We cannot afford to get mired in overly long to-do lists and being talked into taking on tasks we have no business saying yes to.

But what if we turned intention on it's head? What if we decided to live life with intention instead of intending to do things we never get to?  What if we chose intention instead of bitterness? I believe, as do most people, that life is about choices.  We choose to get out of bed in the morning whether we want to or not.  We choose to go to school or work whether we want to or not.  We choose joy instead of bitterness.  We choose happiness instead of sadness.  Don't get me wrong, I am not saying to pretend we don't feel a certain way.  We are beings with emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, etc.  But what we do with those emotions is what is important.  As we mature physically, emotionally, and spiritually, we must live with intention.

Life takes us through some very sad places.  For many of us life did not turn out the way we expected. Some of have been hit with untimely death, unwanted divorce, a marriage that never happened, or children we never had.  For many of us, our hearts have been broken and twisted into unrecognizable forms.  Hearts broken into so many pieces we do not believe they will ever be put back together again.  But what would happen if we lived with the intention that whether our hearts healed or not, we would be a positive force in our little corner of the world? What if we lived with the intention that our broken hearts would not rule us, but that we would rule that brokenness? What if we realized that the brokenness became less, even if it never completely disappeared?  What if we found that in the brokenness we realized our calling, the reason we were put on this earth?

No, the broken heart and broken dreams are definitely not the path we would have chosen, but the fact is it happened.  What we do about it is what matters.  What if we lived with intention?

What's your struggle?

What if we used our struggles to better ourselves, instead of fighting against our struggles.  Most people want to hide their struggles, their weakness, their faults, and their failures.  What if we admitted them and then used them to make us better, lessening their effect on us and on those around us?  How can we do that you ask?  It would not be easy, it would take time, but I believe it would be worth it in the end.

The first thing we would have to do is to make a list, take stock of our faults and failures.  It may be a painful undertaking, but I believe as human beings making our way through life, we should take stock once in a while anyway. I believe that is how we grow and mature spiritually and emotionally. We cannot continue on unless we have the list.

Once the list is complete, the next step is to not beat ourselves up.  No one is perfect, negative self-talk is self-defeating.  We do not have time for that.  Life is short, and we have someplace to be. Where you ask? Wherever it is God says we should be.  After all, that is the reason for this exercise. We were all put on this earth for a reason.  The reasons are many: to be the best parents, to be the next president, prime minister, CEO, or scientist.  Whatever God puts on our heart to do, to become, we must be the best; do our best.  When we are taking stock, we must be thorough, otherwise what would be the point?

So we make our list, and we take stock of each item on that list.  We have decided not to fight against or to struggle with, our faults and failures.  We must instead invite God to help us use those faults and struggles, to make us patient with ourselves and with others. The struggle against ourselves will try to overtake us daily.  But we must daily push back. That is called maturity, and it is called using our struggles instead of fighting against them.  

 

Distraction

Last week I posted my first ever video blog entitled 'It is time'. Click this link to listen to the video.  http://civillamorgan.blogspot.com/2014/10/it-is-time.html

In this post, I would like to follow up to 'It is time'.  When you make the decision to step out, to make that big crazy move, that is when distraction will come.  It may seem innocent enough, and it usually is.  The bearer of the distraction usually does not even know that he or she is bringing distraction, they just want you to do something for them. You, the person stepping out into a new thing, must recognize what is happening, and respond accordingly.  Distractions by their nature, exist to keep you from doing what you are supposed to be doing.  Some time ago, I also posted a blog entitled 'Do not idle'.  In that post I mentioned how when I was a little girl and my mother would send me to the store, she would tell me 'do not idle'.  Do not become distracted, do not allow anyone to stop you from going to the store, go and come straight back.

Distraction can make us lose track of time.  Before we know it, a whole day has gone by and none of the tasks on our 'to do' list have been completed.  Fighting distraction takes strength and discipline.  It is much easier to spend time on tasks we prefer than to spend time on tasks we would rather not do. But the fact is, to succeed, that task must eventually be done.  In this day and age, most people do not like the word discipline.  We want things done immediately.  But what if we realized that every successful person we know whether personally or in the headlines, got to where they are through discipline?  They disciplined themselves by going to acting classes. They learned their lines, and they became world famous actors and actresses commanding top dollar in their industry.  People who want to do and be the best in their industry, must stay up late into the night.  They have to wake up early in the morning, and they have to say no to things they want to say yes to.

Sometimes the devil sends people to distract us, to attempt to take us out of our season of stepping out.  There are people who do not want us to succeed.   These people will tell lies about us, saying things to discredit us, planting seeds of doubt.  The first key to recognizing a distraction is to look at the timing of the distraction.  I do not believe in coincidence.

If something happens or someone approaches at the time of your stepping out; think before acting or re-acting.  Now more than ever, the time of our stepping out, we have to hear God every step of the way.  This time of stepping out may never come again.

My personal suggestions for stepping out successfully:

1) Be able to say 'no' even if the request is for a 'good thing'.
2) Be selfish with your time.  This is the only time I will tell you to be selfish, I do not like that trait       at all, but in this case, it is necessary.
3) Be willing to walk away from what seems like common sense, if it is what God is telling you to         do.  God's instructions seldom make sense.
4) Be kind but firm.  Everyone will have their opinion on what you are doing.  But the only word that      counts is the word coming from God.
5)  Pray every step of the way, and even after you become successful, keep praying.  What it took to        get you there is what it will take to keep you there.
6) Surround yourself with people you trust.  As I mentioned above, not everyone will be happy for         you, no matter how much they smile and pat you on the back.  Ask God to surround you with             people whose suggestions and critiques are consistent and trustworthy.

Do you have suggestions for successfully stepping out?  I would love to hear them!

It is time

Perception

Late last year I went back to the Caribbean Island my family is from, to attend the funeral of a family member.  Of course it was a sad occasion, but as preparations were underway, some days we took the opportunity to stop for lunch at a nearby restaurant.  I walked ahead of the family members I had traveled with that day, to get to the restaurant; I was hungry, and wanted to get a table.  Dressed in a sundress and flip flops I walked into the restaurant searching for the perfect table.  A young man sitting at a nearby table stopped eating, looked at me said something I will never forget: 'you are impressive'.  I said 'excuse me?' He repeated himself.  I said 'you don't even know me, how do you know I'm impressive?' He said 'it's the way you carry yourself.' I was silent for a few seconds, taken aback, and then I said 'thank you'.  He said 'you're welcome' and turned back to his food. I found a table for the group I was with.

I realize as human beings, we will never be perfect. Christian or not. But what I do know is that whether or not we are perfect, whether or not we realize it, we are being watched.  We are being watched when we mess up and we are being watched when we do well.  I read a FaceBook post a few days ago, where an elderly woman eating at a restaurant, apparently wrote a note to her waiter impressed by the way he carried himself.  He reminded her of her deceased son.  Whether or not this story is true, the fact is we have to ask ourselves how are we being perceived, how do we carry ourselves? Does it matter? Of course it does.  Those of us who are Christians know this is especially true.  We know that many times people are watching to see us mess up, and some people in fact some want us to do well.

As Christians, we are representatives of Jesus.  As such, we must live our lives as much as possible above reproach.  We may make a bad decision once in a while or say something we should not have, but we must push to become the person God wants us to be.  We must be a blessing to everyone we interact with.

How do we emanate the right perception, how do we carry ourselves in a good and positive way? Being a person who emanates a positive perception to others can start with simple actions.  We should treat people with respect and dignity regardless of their station in life.  That may sound snobbish or uppity, but the fact is, many people mistreat those whom they think are 'beneath' them. No human is beneath another human, God made us all, and in His image.  If we remember that, treating everyone we meet with respect will come naturally.  We all want to be heard, and sometimes just being heard by you is all another human being will get.

Sometimes we will miss the mark, but the key is to try continually, it will be worth it.  I will be honest, I struggle with patience.  When we travel to the islands my family and I are from (we are from two different islands that are governed by one flag) we have to take a taxi from the airport to the pier, and then take a ferryboat to the island of our final destination. On the flight from the U.S. a passenger was having trouble storing his luggage in the overhead compartment.  I had no choice but to stand in the aisle, waiting for him to get his luggage stored.  Little did I know that I would be sitting next to him for our trip from The U.S. to the Caribbean.  God does have a sense of humor.  He points out our faults to us, giving us a chance to fix them. The gentleman thanked me profusely for my patience, which made me feel guilty!  Because I really just wanted to sit down.  We chatted on the trip to The Caribbean, and when we landed he thanked me again for my patience and insisted on paying our fare from the airport to the pier.  He would not be refused.  We thanked him and took our taxi to the pier.

Whenever I find myself in a situation where my patience is tested, I remember the above mentioned experiences.  The thing about relationship with Christ is that when He knows we are chasing after Him, when we try, and when we fail; He will test us but He will not leave us.  He will teach us through experiences such as the above, but He will not embarrass us or call us out.  We just have to trust Him to grow us, allow Him to grow us.

When Moses was turning his leadership over to Joshua when the Israelites were about to enter The Promised Land, he said many encouraging things to the people, but one of the things that stood out for me was this: 'The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.' Deuteronomy 31:8.  I know that The Lord is going ahead, before me, to teach me, even reprimand me.  He wants me to be of a positive and good perception.  Amen!

God is not stupid

Many of us have heard of, if not seen, the movie 'God is not dead'.  It was a great reminder of the fact that God is indeed alive and well, and living...in the universe and in the hearts of his followers. But sometimes I wonder how many of us realize God is not stupid.  You see, I believe many of us as Christians think we can keep doing things we know are not Christ like, and then say silly things like 'God knows my heart'.  We say these things 10, 20, and even 30 years after we became Christ followers.  We say and do petty things, we push back EVERY TIME we are pushed, we simply do not grow.

Don't get me wrong.  No one is perfect, not even Christians.  The world likes to laugh and make fun of us when we mess up, but the fact is no one will ever be perfect.  The key is to do our best, to daily be more like Jesus.  This means we can't push back every time someone says or does something hurtful.  It means we sometimes have to smile when we really want to...do something else.  Being a Christian is a daily fight to be more like Jesus.  Some days we will fall short, and on those days we have to ask God to forgive us.  We may even have to ask our offender to forgive us. Yes, that is the life of a Christian. We have to be willing to forgive and to ask forgiveness.  

What should be happening, is we should be maturing in our faith.  We should not still be allowing the things that offended us when we first became Christians, to be offending us so many years later.  There are times when we will have to smile when someone says something stupid, remain calm when we are obviously being tested, and ask God to help us when we feel we might say or do the wrong thing.  We must want to mature. When we continue to mature, the nonsense that used to bother us no longer will, or not as much.  We see ignorance for what it is.  We see immaturity, from non-Christians as well as Christians, for what it is.  

Christians, let's stop acting like we think God is stupid.  Too many Christians are dying around the world for their faith while the rest of us are living a life of pettiness, hatefulness, bad attitudes, and lacking in growth. As human beings, we all have struggles.  As Christians, if we take those struggles to Jesus; he will help us.  He will heal us, he will mature us.  We just have to ask him, to allow him.       

Convert or die!

I never thought I would hear those words during my life time: convert or die!  The stories coming out of Iraq right now are fluid, but they are not changing much.  People--Christians and other ethnic minorities are being chased out of Iraq simply because they do not maintain the same beliefs as the militants that are chasing them.  Some of these people left with just the clothes on their backs.

But what I feel is the saddest story to date, something I have heard in the flurry of stories, was about the man who renounced his vow to Jesus, only to be killed anyway. I hope this story is not true, but if it is, I hope he had time to repent and that he his soul went to heaven.
These militants are so evil that people are running because they know whether or not they renounce their faith, they will most likely be killed.  Many of us have seen the images of the affected: fleeing, waiting on the top of a mountain, and burying family members in shallow graves.  Many of the Christians who ran for their lives are waiting in churches.  We have seen other images too difficult to watch, of Christians and others who have not renounced their faith, being shot in the head and pushed into some body of water.  The ground covered in the blood of the slain.

From the time I heard about these horrors, I posed the question: could we 'Western Christians' handle what is happening to the Christians in Iraq and other parts of the world? Could we drop everything and leave our homes with just the clothes on our backs?  Are we tough enough to stand up for our belief in Jesus with a gun held to our head, or the head of a family member?  Do we really believe? What do we believe?  Do we really believe in Jesus no matter what?

Christians have been killed since the beginning.  We have been fed to lions, boiled in oil, and run through with spears from the time Jesus rose from the dead.  What is happening now is just a continuation.  I believe people are shocked at the television images because as a human race we thought we had evolved, become more accepting of each other, more tolerant.  But that is not the case, indeed I do not believe it ever will be the case.  We are too beset with ourselves and with our causes.  We are not willing to live and let live. Actually, that includes we Christians.  When we become believers we are mandated to go and spread the good news.  The issue is that everyone thinks their religious belief is the good news.

We Christians however, believe we have the true good news.  Why? Because the one true God does not compel us to convert people by pointing a gun at their heads.  We do not shoot people in the head at point blank range while videotaping so that we can then show the murders on television around the world.  We live our lives by example, not by beating people over the head with our beliefs.  We believe in a God who lives forever.  We believe in I am that I am, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.  His word does not change. We believe in a Jesus who died and rose from the dead and lives forever more.

When we become believers, our hearts and minds change.  We no longer give in to murderous rages, trying to control other human beings with the threat of death.  We believe in the one true God.  We believe.

Trust and obey

Many of us are familiar with the hymn 'Trust and Obey', written by John Sammis. 'Trust and obey, for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey'.  

Many times I have looked back at situations in my life, thankful I had obeyed God when He told me to do something.

Most of the time what He tells me to do is downright scary. I feel foolish, wondering if I really heard from Him. I mentioned in a much earlier post, that many years ago God put on my heart to buy a meal for a homeless man. I did NOT want to do it. I tried to pretend I had not heard God. Well, as Christians, we all know how that goes. Once He tells us to do something He's not going to change His mind.

I believe that when God tells us to do something, He will not allow us to be hurt. Now if the recipient declines, that's not our problem, we were obedient. That's what God wants from us, obedience. When we obey God, He knows He can trust us for bigger things.

Many years have passed since that first command. When I hear from God now, I do not have as much apprehension as I did in those days, but admittedly, depending on what it is I can still be scared.  I must also admit that there have been times lately where He has put someone on my mind and I have allowed busyness to get in the way of following up with that person or persons. That, I believe, is a kind of disobedience. Our lives and schedules are quite busy, but there is nothing like God's voice to stop us in our tracks. Besides, we have so much technology at our finger tips that a quick text or email is available from our smart phones. There is no excuse.

These days, God has been asking me to do bigger things, scary things, outside the box things. I've been scared, but I've been obeying. I'm getting happy returns, and restorations. These results I know for a fact are God restorations. I know this because God is not the author of confusion. It pays to trust and obey.

GOD BLESS AMERICA (Lyrics) - CELINE DION

What exactly is it?

I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  Many people dismiss it as 'religious', 'holy roller', 'old-school', and no longer relevant.  Even Christians in an effort to seem relevant, do not use the term.  What really bothers me is that some Christians believe we must stay away from certain terms and tenets of our Bible, to be relevant to people who view us as crazy for our beliefs anyway.  In fact, these very people want us to stop believing.  They think that we can just change our minds from believing in a book of ‘stories’ written 2000 years ago about a god that probably does not even exist.  For that very reason, the fact that our beliefs are 2000 years old, we should forget it and 'get into the 21st century'.  We should 'go along to get along', and 'live and let live'.  If we do not comply, we are 'narrow-minded', 'hateful', and anti-anything that is now openly accepted.  

I do not know what is more treacherous though, the belief that Christians should just stop believing, or the Christians who have indeed stopped believing.  If they ever believed at all.  Believe or not, The Word is The Word, and those of us who know The Word realize we cannot just stop believing.  There's a saying, 'stand for something or fall for anything'.  I do not know who said it, but I agree.  I agree not because I want to be stubborn and anti-establishment; but because there is something deep within me, deeper than an impression, that believes.  It is a living, breathing, confidence in someone bigger than me.  That someone created me, and when I worship Him, my heart and my spirit come into agreement with His.  How does one just walk away from that and stop believing?

Am I being asked to stop believing in my creator so that our new society of ‘go along to get along' feels less threatened? In America, it used to be that people were allowed to believe what they wanted.  Now when we believe, we can be accused of hate crimes.  It seems the reverse is happening.  It is the Christians who are being ostracized.  That however, has been the case since the beginning.  We are used to being ostracized.  

At the mention of the name Jesus or God, some people become quite angry.  They will probably become angrier when they realize that 'holiness' is a relevant term.  It is not a religious, old-school, or holy-roller term.  It is relevant to those of us who still believe.  You see, the Word says 'Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.' --Hebrews 12:14.  So for those of us who believe, we must be holy if we want to go to Heaven.  For believers, Heaven is what it is ultimately all about.  But while we are here, holiness means loving everyone, doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, and it means not changing our minds or 'going along to get along'.

Nowhere in the Word does it tell Christians to hate people, but the Word does tell us to hate sin. Furthermore, the word is quite clear on what sin is.  For those, Christian and non-Christians, who believe we can just interchange, add a little here, take away there; it does not work like that. We either believe the entire Word or none of it.  

Christians will continue to believe the Word.  We will continue to love everyone, and we will continue to hate sin.  We will continue to abide by the laws of our land, but we will not compromise The Word.  It will not always be easy to walk the fine line of obeying The Word and obeying the law, but we will do just that.  Our God, The Word, will direct us.  We believe. 

Happy Mother's Day?

Here in the United States, Mother's Day was today, Sunday, May 11th.  I love the holiday although some believe it is over-commercialized.  Well, I believe every holiday is over-commercialized.  The key is to decide how much you will allow yourself to play into it, or not.  If your mom is alive, of course you want to pay tribute to her.  If she has passed on it is a day of sadness and fond memories.  Every holiday will bring happiness and sadness depending on your history.  Some people feel sadness during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons because a family member may have passed on and the holidays bring back memories.  All we can do is celebrate with those who celebrate and encourage those who feel sadness.  The key is to maintain an empathetic heart without downplaying your own happiness and thankfulness. 

I am happy that we were once again able to celebrate all that our mom has done for us.  We are so thankful to God for her, like so many others are today for their mothers.  But what about those of us who have no children?  I recall the time I realized I would not be able to have children.  I was having a pity party, which is usually a party of one, but I happened to be on the phone with my brother.  I tried to invite him to my pity party, but he would not have it.  As I have mentioned in some of my previous posts, he is one of the wisest men I know.  Don't get me wrong, he is also a typical brother.  Today he made fun of my hairstyle.  I currently have it in a bun and he asked me what that was on top of my head! He pokes fun at me, he does just what the typical brother would.  But he is wise.  He talked to me about the pity party in which I tried to engage, and he made me see life, my life, from another point of view.  I am so thankful for him, my sisters, and my parents for being there through that very difficult time. 

For many years I prayed for healing, I prayed for God to answer my prayers, but it was not to be.  What would you do if God answered your prayers with a 'no'?  Would you still trust Him that He knew why?  As women, most of us have a yearning to bear children, and when it does not happen, the hole left in our hearts can last a lifetime.  I know as human beings we are all different and some women may feel the emptiness more than others, but I am always leery of the woman who says she feels no emptiness.  I don't buy it.  On top of the emptiness, we have to deal with other people, usually other women, who make fun of our childlessness. 

Many Christians are familiar with the Bible story of Hannah, the initially barren woman, whose sister wife (men had multiple wives back in that day) had multiple children. 
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1 Samuel 1 &version=NIV
I have a shocker for you: women are the same today as they were back in Hannah's day.  Don't get me wrong, most women empathize when they find out I have no children, and nothing makes my heart more glad than when I hear women say how thankful they are for their gifts from God.  But some women, I call them low self-esteem women, take that opportunity to make sure I understand they have something that I do not.  Well, I serve a God who knows why He said 'no' to me and 'yes' to others.  it does not make things any easier sometimes, but it is what it is.  I also believe that the low self-esteem women could not bear what I bear.  Hey, I told you all that 2014 would be the year of some pretty deep posts.  I wasn't kidding.  In fact, I am working on a book about this very subject because I know there are millions of women around the world who have been, are, or will be in this very situation. 

I would suggest childless woman, that you make the daily decision, as I have, to do the best with what you have.  Be the best aunt or god-mother you can be without stepping on the toes of the actual mother.  Be there for the mother as well as the child(ren) in your life, while realizing that you do not owe her any more than you are willing to give.  Know when to step back, and when to assist.  Find other women who share your experience instead of surrounding yourself with people who may not understand.  Be strong, because you are here for another purpose.  You are not the filler peanuts or crumpled paper that takes up room in a shipping box.  And even the filler peanuts and crumpled paper have a purpose.  Never allow anyone to make you feel second-tier.  Find out what your purpose is, help where you can, and do not lie to your self or others if certain situations are too difficult to bear.  You are only hurting yourself.  Trust God that He knows what He is doing and know that you are one of millions of women of purpose.  You are not alone. 

I cannot wait until my book is finished.  I cannot wait to help millions more women realize that whether they end up like Hannah who eventually had five children, or they have none, that they are just as important as the women who have children.  Be encouraged women, aunts, god-mothers; God loves you.  He knows why He said 'no'.  
Please read the story of Hannah.  I posted the link above.




The link posted above is the story of Hannah from biblegateway.com.  Nothing has been added or removed by me, from that link. 

Get out! Part 1

As I mentioned at the beginning of this year, my blog posts are going to another level.  Some posts may touch a nerve, but hopefully in a good and healing way for you as well as for myself.  After all, bloggers blog to release what is going on internally, good and bad.  We writers could not imagine life without a pen/pencil and paper/Word Program.  If you are a die hard fan of anything, if you have a hobby that you couldn't imagine life without, then you know how writers feel.  It is something we were born to do.  The subject matter of our writing depends on our life experiences and how we deal with, or want to deal with, those experiences.

I am currently working on completing my Master of Science Degree in Management with a concentration in Marketing, three classes to go after this!  I am at the point where I am ready to be finished already!  But I insist upon doing my very best and turning in every piece of homework, every paper, with a high level of excellence.  Why am I saying all of this? Because when working at such a level of excellence, time is of the essence and priority is of the utmost importance.  This means that those who refuse to understand my current place in life, will have to go their own way.  I cannot promise I will be the same person when it is finished.  Nothing personal, but we only have one life.  We only have 24 hours in each day.  We only get about 70 years give or take a few years.

I have a book in me that is partially written down in a notebook and on a Word document; but mostly it is in my mind, my heart, and my soul.  I think about this book every day because I know it will help millions of women, and men, around the world.  The main point of this book will be to get the word out that even when life does not happen in the way you and I expected, assumed, or just believed it would; it's not over, don't give up and don't give in.  Stay tuned for part two!

There's no free lunch!

In the financial Services industry, at least here in The United States, there is a saying that 'there is no free lunch!'  In other words you cannot get anything for free.  Typically, if someone offers or gives you something, they want something in return even if they say they do not.  This ingrained thought process, mentality, of 'no free lunch', is not necessarily bad; it is a form of self-protection.  Because of this thought process however, many people do not know how to accept a true and pure gift.  People have gotten used to 'being had' or 'waiting for the other shoe to drop'.  When they have been given a gift in the past, the giver may have mentioned the gift months or even years later.  The giver is now wanting to collect on the gift they initially said they did not want anything for in return. 

The fact remains however, that there are many people on this earth who love to give out of a pure heart, asking for nothing in return.  As a giver, I would like to offer some tips on how to give and how to receive.  These tips when practiced, will protect both parties, the giver and the receiver.  Please keep in mind that giving does not pertain to just money, it pertains to tangible as well as intangible gifts.

1).  Think before you do.  If you give whenever people ask, or even if they do not ask, people will perceive that 'your hand is free'.  In other words, they will believe that you have a lot (of money) and you will hand out gifts at will.  In my opinion, whether or not you are a wealthy individual, it is never a good idea to give at will.  If you do, word will get around and you may be approached by absolute strangers.  I will discuss this more in the next point.

2). Use common sense in your giving.  If you are a Christian, you should pray for, and exercise the spirit of discernment.  Deuteronomy 28-29 says 'They are a nation without sense, there is no discernment in them.  If only they were wise and would understand this and discern what their end will be!'  The context of these verses is that God was angry at His people because they had turned their backs on him, and turned to other gods.  The people were not discerning or understanding how God felt about this.  We cannot turn our back on God and do our own thing, even in something as 'simple' as giving.  Discernment is that one extra step you take when deciding whom to give to, when, how, and how much.  I will talk more about that later.  

3).  People who have the gift of giving tend to be soft-hearted.  There is nothing wrong with having a soft heart, but it had better be surrounded by a discerning mind and common sense.  This does not mean that the giver should become mean-spirited and un-giving.  To become such a person is just the opposite of the personality-type of a giver, and it is un-Godly.  The fact is, God wants us to exercise common sense.  He is not the author of confusion and He does not want us to be confused. 

4).  The left hand should not know what the right hand is doing.   When you give, there is no need to make an announcement.  '“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.  So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."--Matthew 6:1-4.  The bottom line is, not even your close friends and family need to know what you are doing.  You would have already spoken with Jesus, your closest friend, and He would have given you the OK to give.  In fact, He may have spoken to you to give.  If you want your gift to count for charitable giving tax purposes, by all means, write that check.  If it is cash, make sure the receiving organization gives you a receipt and is aware you will be claiming the gift on your taxes. In fact, ask for a receipt whether it is cash or check.  The key: there is no need to make a big deal.

5).  Some people do not know how to accept gifts.  If you want to give a small gift you will not claim on your taxes, you just feel lead to give someone a small gift; I suggest you still speak to God about it and ask Him for discernment.  This is because some people are dealing with underlying issues such as pride and they do not know how to simply say 'thank you'.  I have witnessed this with my own eyes.  Do not let this type of experience keep you from giving in the future, learn from your experience and let God direct you.  This is why I keep bringing up the importance of discernment.  God will tell you to whom to give, and even to whom not to give.  If you acted without discernment because you heard someone crying broke or just having a financial difficulty and you attempted to give them a small gift, these same people could still become prideful and may even attempt to embarrass you.  

6).  Many givers are not wealthy.  Most givers are not rich or wealthy people.  Givers are people who operate out of a budget just like everyone else.  The difference is that givers include giving in their budget.  Giving is not an afterthought for people who love to give.  Givers are comfortable with not spending the extra money on a toy for themselves, and giving the money to someone, or some organization. The bottom line is this:  we are all wired differently.  Some people like to give and some have to work on the giving aspect of their personality. Because we all have different gifts and strengths, we must ask God to direct us and grow us in the area of giving.    

7). Finally, use common sense.  If you see someone on the side of the road with a can asking for money, you will not have time to stop and ask God for discernment.  You should have already prayed to God for discernment.  You should already know what you will do in that situation.  If your pastor is asking for a special offering, you should already know if that is the church for you and that your special offering will be used wisely.  Sitting in the pew squirming about what to do, wondering why they're always asking for money, is not the time to try to make a decision.  God is not the author of confusion.  Ask Him for help and discernment not only in giving, but in every aspect of your life. Amen!

Betrayal

Betrayal.  I don't know about you, but when I hear that word, it sends shivers down my spine.  If you have lived long enough you have been betrayed at least once.  If it only happens once in your life time it is more than enough.  As I observe betrayal whether in my life or someone Else's, one thing seems to ring true in every instance: the betrayer was a coward.  Something made him or her afraid and they decided to take the easy way out.  In American slang vernacular:  you got thrown under the bus.  That was the only way for the betrayer to obtain perceived vindication.  It was his only way out of a difficult situation.  In many cases it was a situation the betrayer created himself.  He became jealous, envious, or listened to the wrong people.  

Betrayal.  I'm not talking about being stood up for a lunch date or a friend changing their mind about plans you both made.  I'm talking about the type of betrayal that leaves you reeling for a very long time.  I'm talking about the person--friend or family member, in whom you put complete trust.  So much trust, they knew enough about you they could kill you and get away with it.  Sounds pretty harsh, but I'm talking about real life in my blogs this year.  This is the year of the different.  It will be different things for different people.  But this is going to be a year unlike any other.  No time for status quo. 

Betrayal.  Most of you know about the ultimate betrayal:  When Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.  'Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver Him to you?” And they counted out to him thirty pieces of silver.  So from that time he sought opportunity to betray Him'. --Matthew 26:14-16.  Judas was one of the 12 closest people to Jesus.  They traveled together, they ate meals together, they slept under the same roof, under the same stars.  

This is why as we grow in Christ and mature in age, we have to learn to watch and listen.  We have to ask God for wisdom as we watch people's actions and listen to the words that come out of their mouths.  We all miss queues and signs, regardless, it is how we handle the resulting mess that makes the difference.  How we handle the betrayers in our lives is very important.  How we handle the betrayer shows God that we can handle the blessings He has for us.  How do we handle our betrayers?  The same way Jesus handled Judas.  
 
'Now His betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him.”  Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.
But Jesus said to him, “Friend, why have you come?” --Matthew 26:48-50.  'Friend, why have you come?'  The key to dealing with betrayers is to 'Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.'--Matthew 10:16.  Protect your assets, protect your family, protect your heart, and let Jesus deal with the betrayer.  It will not always be easy, but it is the best way.  You will not be the first and you will not be the last to be betrayed.  How you handle it is important for your future. 

Betrayal hurts.  It's a wound that can take a very long time to heal.  The key is to make sure the wound heals and that it does not fester.  That it does not become infected with retribution, hatred, or revenge.  As the betrayed, you have a choice.  If you make the right choice, God will honor you and all of the people that are watching you.

'The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.'--Psalm 23:1-6 

     Amen.

All scripture taken from the New King James version of The Holy Bible.

Dumb stuff!

When I was in my 20's, I did some stupid stuff.  Yes, I can hear that collective sigh as most of you think to yourselves, 'that would be most of us'.  But one thing stands out as the dumbest thing I did in that decade of my 20's.  I bought a manual shift car.  What was stupid about that?  I did not know how to drive a manual shift.  To this day I do not remember how I made it home from the dealership. 

I remember thinking to myself though, 'it can't be that difficult can it?'  When I asked my Dad to give me a few pointers, he did just that and then I was on my own.  I distinctly remember hearing him grumble as he walked away, 'who buys a car without knowing how to drive it?' 

Every morning when I went out I looked into the car, expecting it to have changed from a manual shift to an automatic.  When I realized it was still a manual shift, my stomach would sink.  I conceded that it was a dumb idea, but I had no choice now.  I would have to learn.  I cannot tell you the amount of times I stalled in traffic, how many times I was cursed for holding up traffic, or how many times I begged God to help me! 

Life is like that.  We make mistakes: we spend too much money and then have buyers remorse.  We get into and stay in a relationship that was not God ordained.  We move to another city or job when deep down we know we should have stayed where we were, or at least waited.  We buy a car we do not know how to drive.  Then we ask God to get us out of the situation!  Guess what, He seldom does.  He will go through with us.  He will protect us through the journey of the mistake, but remove us from it, seldom. 

What I love about these learning experiences is that they strengthen us.  Some of our mistakes take years to fix, sometimes even a lifetime.  But when we trust in God, He will go through the valley with us.  "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me"--Psalm 23:4.      

A few years after I learned to drive a manual shift, I taught my youngest sister.  She did not think she would learn either, but she did indeed learn.  In fact, my Dad mentioned once that she drove better that I did!  My Dad is a comedian.  I decided to take that as a compliment.  I learned from my bad decision and was able to teach someone else from that mistake. 

Today, all these years later, I recently bought a new vehicle.  I needed a change, so it is a manual shift.  Yes, I am enjoying the change, and every once in a while I think about the silly decision that brought me to having a choice as to what kind of vehicle I can drive.  Should we all go out and do dumb stuff expecting to learn from it?  No, I would not take that chance, but I know when we trust and believe in God, He will take us through. 

Don't beat yourself up over your mistakes, stupid decisions, dumb stuff; whatever you want to call it.  Definitely think first.  Pray first.  Count to 10.  Do whatever you have to do to avoid that wrong decision.  But know that God does not abandon His children when we do dumb stuff.  I thank Him for that!

Time

With a new year upon us, I got to thinking about time.  I heard my dad say once, that 'you start dying the moment you are born'.  It sounded depressing, sad, but deep down I knew it was true.  When we become old enough to think about it, we start dreaming, making plans, and making bucket lists.  We think about the places we would like to visit, the careers we would like to have, the families we would like to start.  Some of those dreams happen, some do not, and some are delayed.  Life seldom goes as planned, but there is nothing wrong with planning.  Whether we plan or not, time happens.  Time marches on, it watches us age, and watches us change.

When I was nine years old, I was almost hit by a bus while waiting in a bus depot with my mom.  I stepped into the path of the bus and it was moving too fast to have stopped in time.  What saved me were the people, bystanders who yelled for me to get out of the way.  When I was 14 years old, I almost drowned in the school swimming pool.  A teacher pulled me out just in time.  When I was in my early 20's, I was driving to work on the interstate when a driver clipped the back fender of my little two-door hatchback.  That little  clip sent me spinning out of control, three times, even under an underpass.  Sometimes I think about those incidents and they don't sadden me, they make me think about how God saved my life in each instance, and how important time is. 

I think because of those near death experiences, I view time a little differently than most people.  In fact, I believe most people who have had near death experiences view time differently.  It's not taken for granted, but instead treated with respect.  We try to fit as much as we can into a 24-hour period.  Sometimes we over-do this and it drives others crazy.  Sometimes we crash from exhaustion. 

As we head into this new year, I would like to make a suggestion.  Time does not care about that book you want to write, those credits you need to finish your degree, or that trip you would like to take.  Time will march on regardless.  Time is aware that we will all die.  Hebrews 9:27 tells us that we all have an appointment with death.  We do not know when our time will be, but in the meantime, we all have the same 24 hours per day to meet those goals and dreams we keep talking about.  Most of us have heard the saying that 'talk is cheap'.  Well I agree.  Stop talking about what you are going to do, and just do it.  No one wants to constantly hear about your dreams, we would rather see you working towards and accomplishing them. 

The date on our daytimers has changed.  It is now 2014, and it will be for the next 12 months.  What will you do with your time?