Here in the United States, Mother's Day was today, Sunday, May 11th. I love the holiday although some believe it is over-commercialized. Well, I believe every holiday is over-commercialized. The key is to decide how much you will allow yourself to play into it, or not. If your mom is alive, of course you want to pay tribute to her. If she has passed on it is a day of sadness and fond memories. Every holiday will bring happiness and sadness depending on your history. Some people feel sadness during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons because a family member may have passed on and the holidays bring back memories. All we can do is celebrate with those who celebrate and encourage those who feel sadness. The key is to maintain an empathetic heart without downplaying your own happiness and thankfulness.
I am happy that we were once again able to celebrate all that our mom has done for us. We are so thankful to God for her, like so many others are today for their mothers. But what about those of us who have no children? I recall the time I realized I would not be able to have children. I was having a pity party, which is usually a party of one, but I happened to be on the phone with my brother. I tried to invite him to my pity party, but he would not have it. As I have mentioned in some of my previous posts, he is one of the wisest men I know. Don't get me wrong, he is also a typical brother. Today he made fun of my hairstyle. I currently have it in a bun and he asked me what that was on top of my head! He pokes fun at me, he does just what the typical brother would. But he is wise. He talked to me about the pity party in which I tried to engage, and he made me see life, my life, from another point of view. I am so thankful for him, my sisters, and my parents for being there through that very difficult time.
For many years I prayed for healing, I prayed for God to answer my prayers, but it was not to be. What would you do if God answered your prayers with a 'no'? Would you still trust Him that He knew why? As women, most of us have a yearning to bear children, and when it does not happen, the hole left in our hearts can last a lifetime. I know as human beings we are all different and some women may feel the emptiness more than others, but I am always leery of the woman who says she feels no emptiness. I don't buy it. On top of the emptiness, we have to deal with other people, usually other women, who make fun of our childlessness.
Many Christians are familiar with the Bible story of Hannah, the initially barren woman, whose sister wife (men had multiple wives back in that day) had multiple children.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1 Samuel 1 &version=NIV
I have a shocker for you: women are the same today as they were back in Hannah's day. Don't get me wrong, most women empathize when they find out I have no children, and nothing makes my heart more glad than when I hear women say how thankful they are for their gifts from God. But some women, I call them low self-esteem women, take that opportunity to make sure I understand they have something that I do not. Well, I serve a God who knows why He said 'no' to me and 'yes' to others. it does not make things any easier sometimes, but it is what it is. I also believe that the low self-esteem women could not bear what I bear. Hey, I told you all that 2014 would be the year of some pretty deep posts. I wasn't kidding. In fact, I am working on a book about this very subject because I know there are millions of women around the world who have been, are, or will be in this very situation.
I would suggest childless woman, that you make the daily decision, as I have, to do the best with what you have. Be the best aunt or god-mother you can be without stepping on the toes of the actual mother. Be there for the mother as well as the child(ren) in your life, while realizing that you do not owe her any more than you are willing to give. Know when to step back, and when to assist. Find other women who share your experience instead of surrounding yourself with people who may not understand. Be strong, because you are here for another purpose. You are not the filler peanuts or crumpled paper that takes up room in a shipping box. And even the filler peanuts and crumpled paper have a purpose. Never allow anyone to make you feel second-tier. Find out what your purpose is, help where you can, and do not lie to your self or others if certain situations are too difficult to bear. You are only hurting yourself. Trust God that He knows what He is doing and know that you are one of millions of women of purpose. You are not alone.
I cannot wait until my book is finished. I cannot wait to help millions more women realize that whether they end up like Hannah who eventually had five children, or they have none, that they are just as important as the women who have children. Be encouraged women, aunts, god-mothers; God loves you. He knows why He said 'no'.
Please read the story of Hannah. I posted the link above.
The link posted above is the story of Hannah from biblegateway.com. Nothing has been added or removed by me, from that link.
