I know my faults

When we decide to become Christians, Christ followers, we also decide to give all of our faults and failures to Jesus.  When we ask him to forgive us He does.  Then we live the rest of our Christ following lives striving to be more like Him.  Will we ever achieve perfection? Absolutely not.  But that is no excuse to remain the way we were before we became Christians.  We are not supposed to remain the same, otherwise what is the point?

If we remain the same, we go to church but we do not live a redeemed life.  We come out the same way we went in Sunday after Sunday after Sunday.  What's the point of going?  Oh, wait, you thought I would tell you my faults? No! I will tell you that it is important that we all know our faults.  We should not ignore them or make excuses for them, we should confront them and daily work to overcome them. As I said before, we will never be perfect but our heart will be different. 

Our heart,  that is the key.  Every time I think about the condition of the heart, I think about King David.  He did so many bad things, made bad decisions, but God loved him because his heart was always in the right place and he was repentant.  He knew his faults.  We have to know our faults, confess our faults, and work on them daily.  Sometimes we will fail miserably, and other times we will gain the victory.  Psalm 51 tells the story of when Nathan the prophet called David out for committing murder and adultery.  Those are two pretty heavy duty sins, but God forgave him.  Oh, he punished him, but He forgave him.    

As I look back over the years, I can without a doubt say that I have changed for the better.  My family sees the changes as they look back over the years too.  It is important to me that others see the changes in me, but most of all it is important that God sees the change.  When He sees the changes He trusts us more.  When He trusts us more He tests us more.  The thing about God trusting us more is that He can allow some really painful things into our lives.  Maybe that is why some people are content with their personal status quo. 

Just a few years ago I would never have asked forgiveness of the person who methodically worked to successfully toss me out of something I started.  I learned quite a bit about that situation and about my growth. In fact, when things like this happen, it should teach us about our future decision-making process.  Never let anything bad or good, go to waste.  God doesn't.    

I have never been a status quo person.  Good enough is not good enough.  That personality trait tends to drive some people crazy, but again I say, status quo cannot be good enough.  Let us grow daily and not remain on the same level for the rest of our lives, otherwise, what is the point?

The grass is not greener

If I had a nickel, no a penny, for every time someone said to me "You have it easy because you're single no dependents", or "You can get up and go whenever you want", or "You're not married, oh I'm sorry" (queue the violins playing in the background), or my personal favorite, "Oh you don't want to be married, having a husband is like having another child", I would be a multi-millionaire.  Fortunately I have come to view money as  a tool, so those millions of dollars would be used to further The Kingdom of God; but alas, I digress.

The fact is, if you are married, with or without children, then God bless you; but please do not look over the fence and tell me how easy my life is.  Just like married people, single people have bills to pay, we have to work long hours, save for emergencies, and save for retirement.  In fact, as single people we had better plan properly for  our elder years or we may find ourselves in deeper trouble than our married  counterparts.  Have you thought about that?  I am not trying to transmit hater vibes, I just want all of us to view life from different vantage points.  Married people have struggles and single people have struggles.  On whatever side of the fence we find ourselves, we must strive to be content, to do the best with what we have and where we are in life.  "...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound". Philippians 4:11-12.  I don't usually like to pluck portions of verses out, but you get my meaning, and I don't believe I'm taking anything out of context.  Of course, why not just take a moment to read the entire chapter of Philippians?  

Bottom line, if you are married, strive to strengthen your marriage relationship.  For those of us who are single, we must strive to strengthen our relationships, know and be comfortable with who we are, and do not allow ourselves or anyone else to make us feel second class. 

Lastly, married or single, we must be careful whom we allow to speak into our lives.  Life is short and it definitely does not always turn out as we expect.  The best course of action: We should do the best with what we have, and live our best life ever, married or single.    

Pride

A few weeks ago, my pastor spoke on the sin of pride.  Yes, it's a sin.  In reviewing my sermon notes he said 'pride is a condition of the heart' and 'sneaky pride touts itself as humility.'  Pride is a pretty serious deal.  As you can see, I'm not talking about the kind of pride where we take a shower, brush our teeth, and comb our hair.  That's a different type of pride, and the world will thank us for taking care of those things before we leave the house.     

But that other pride, well, its no good. "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18.  Why is pride destructive?  Because it keeps the one who is prideful from meeting their full potential and from obtaining favor.  Who wants to help a prideful person, I don't.  It's too difficult.  Compliment a prideful person and they can't manage a 'thank you'.  They have to compliment you back, or seem almost offended.  Offer to buy a prideful friend lunch or dinner, and they turn you down but in the future offer to buy you lunch or dinner. 

 I like to call prideful people pretenders.  They can be going down for the last count financially, but pretend to the world that all is well.  The only problem is the only person they are fooling is themselves.  Prideful people think they are being given a handout or that they are being pitied.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  The truth is if you are a friend we just want to give.  If you are a stranger, we just want to give.  There are people on this planet who give without ulterior motives.

Another trait I have found in prideful people is that they are strong willed people.  There is nothing wrong with being strong willed, you need it to make it in this world; to make it through the pot holes, speed bumps, and road blocks of life.  Leave the strong willed bit for making it through life, not for making it through life with people who care.   The bottom line is, say thanks for the cup of coffee or lunch and save the pride for your appearance.

Bad things

As we continue to make our way into the new year, it is very easy to look back at all of the bad things that have happened to us, family, and friends.  We may even blame God for not working things out in our favor.  It is human nature to want to lay blame because somehow that gives us closure.  If we have no one to blame, the issue tends to stick around until we find some way to deal with it.

Sometimes however, there is no one and nothing to blame.  Life happens and there are some things in life to which we will never have the answer.  When these problems arise, we must decide if we will let them affect us by allowing them to hang around for the rest of our lives, or if we will gain control and make the decision to move on with what we have left.

I am not saying we should forget. There are some things we cannot and should not forget because if we do, the issue may repeat itself.  We should not forget whole groups of people who are murdered in cold blood.  We should not forget the loss of a loved one.  We should not forget the loss of a dream or hope.  We should not forget an unanswered prayer.  We should remember though, that we are still alive.  Dreams and hopes change. We can keep positive memories of loved ones in our hearts.  And we can learn to live, in a positive and uplifting way, with our unanswered prayer.

Life is all about choices.  We can choose to live the best life possible.  We can choose what kind of life we would like to live.  We can choose to look back at the bad things or choose to forge ahead and choose the good things?


'His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
¹⁰ He replied, “You are talking like a foolish^[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10 NIV.

Cliques

I am so glad Jesus did not have a cliquey attitude towards people.  He spoke with, cared about, and loved everyone he came in contact with; even when they did not feel the same way about him. 

In one of my morning devotions this week, the story of Zacchaeus was discussed in the context of 'making it right', which was the title of the devotional.  The author discussed how Zacchaeus repented of his sins upon meeting Jesus, and promising to make things right.  But as I read the devotional, it occurred to me that although others grumbled at what nerve Jesus had for sitting down for dinner with a known thief, Jesus did not care. 

'And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho.  And behold, there was a man name Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich.  And he sought to see Jesus, who he was, and could not, for the press, because he was little in stature.  And he ran before, and climbed, up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.  And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house. And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it they murmured saying, that he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner.'-Luke 19:1-7.             
 
You see, Jesus did not care what others thought, He was about Kingdom Business.  He wants as many people as possible to be with him in Heaven so what people think here on Earth does not matter.  Jesus knew who his core group was, his disciples.  Those were the people with whom he shared living space, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner; shared deep discussions.  Jesus knew the difference between the people with whom he had deeper relationships and the people with whom he had to interact in order to heal their hearts.  He spoke with people of 'ill-repute' (the woman at the well), people who did not fit in (the woman with the issue of blood), Zacchaeus (tax collector who skimmed then pocketed the difference), and the list goes on. 

Jesus could not attend church and sit in the same pew on the same side of the church every Sunday, talking only to the people whom he knew and looking the other way when strangers sat nearby.  He did not run people through a battery of tests before accepting them, but used discernment.  He knew when to shake the dust off of his shoes and keep walking.  He used common sense. 

No one gets along or is loved by everyone, but as Christians, we must allow ourselves to be approachable and when lead, we must cultivate the ability to approach anyone.  This is definitely harder for some of us to do than others, but I believe as reserved as some of us are, people can sense that we will respond positively when approached.  That is the Christian attitude and way of life.  Let's work on it.

Fodder

For many years I prayed for healing.  I hoped and prayed, knowing God would heal me, assuming He was taking so long because I am apparently a 'late bloomer.'  Every good thing that has happened in my life has happened later in my life than most people.  Life is like that for many of us.  So when the healing did not happen, I was initially alright, but then things began to go downhill.  I had to step out  of myself and my normal way of dealing with pain, to get things under control.  But in the middle of all of those years, and even now, I have had to deal with fodder.  What is fodder? Fodder= fod·der noun.

1. coarse food for livestock, composed of entire plants, including leaves, stalks, and grain, of such forages as corn and sorghum.  2. people considered as readily available and of little value: cannon fodder.  3. raw material: fodder for a comedian's routine. (Dictionary.com).

ɒd ər/ Show Spelled  For the purpose of this post, I will use meanings one and two, but I will modify meaning number two since I do not believe human beings should be considered fodder.  Although I consider myself to have a sense of humor, I am not a comedian, so meaning number three is out.

So, I, like everyone else I am sure, has had to deal with foot-in-mouth syndrome.   Fortunately, for those of us who may be prone to this syndrome, we know we have the syndrome and we work on it instead of making excuses for why we can't change.  After all, if we do not admit our weaknesses as well as your strengths, our weaknesses can run and potentially ruin your life.  It does not have to be that way.  At any rate, that is another subject for another day.

Fodder.  Many of us have secret hurts and unanswered prayers that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives.  We do not usually discuss this things with strangers or even with acquaintances.  Our family members and close friends probably know, and those are the people to whom we turn.  But some things are evident to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, others.  And although these things are evident, some people have decided that they would 'go there'.  These people have decided for their own reasons: pride, jealousy, envy, low self-esteem, to allow fodder to come out of their mouths.  This is usually done in an effort to make themselves seem or feel bigger, due to their own struggle, realized or un-realized, of the before mentioned nouns. 

You see, when people--Christians and non-Christians--struggle with these issues, they will take it out on the person standing closest to them.  We must decide how to deal with the fodder that comes out of these people's mouths.  We can allow the fodder to set us up for a daily fight.  We can become bitter towards people in general, or we can use the fodder to help others and ourselves.  I have decided to do just that.  I have decided that whenever someone comes down with foot-in-mouth syndrome at my expense, or they allow fodder to come out of their mouth because of pride, jealousy, envy, or low self-esteem, I will use what they say in my next book, in a positive and tasteful way. 

For those of you who do not write, I would suggest taking fodder and turning it around for the positive.  Do not allow fodder and foot-in-mouth disease to take you to a negative place.  It's not worth it to you or to those around you.  I would also pray for these people, because usually it is a handful of repeat offenders, so you know who they are.  And remember that we are all human.  Any of us can succumb to foot-in-mouth disease.  We all make mistakes.  I am referring though, to people who usually know exactly what they are doing. 

Be wise about who you spend time with, remain positive, pray for these people, and turn fodder into  something positive.  If this helps, remember that when animals eat fodder, it does not kill them, it is for their good and for ours, in the end.

Success requires work!

As we head into a new year, many people are feverishly working on their new years resolutions lists and trying to complete their 2012 resolutions. Many people will follow through on their resolutions through February or March before they give up and fizzle out.  But a small number of people will continue to plug away through the entire year.  They will run into road blocks, speed bumps, and brick walls, but they will push through.  Nevertheless.  I love that word, it's one of my favorite words. Nevertheless.  To which group will you belong in the new year? 

Even if you belonged to the first group, you now have a chance to join  the second group. It will not be easy.  If you are like most people, you work a full time job, you are working on a degree, you have relationships to maintain, bills to pay, the list goes on.  I work a full time job, am working on two books, and my MBA program starts in a few days.  Your life list may be slightly different or slightly similar.  Nevertheless, if you want to be successful in the new year and for the rest of your life for that matter; whatever your idea of success is, success requires work. 

The following list will help you as you strive to be successful.  This is the list that has helped me in the past:

• Make a list of everything you would like to accomplish in 2013.  Make the list comprehensive, realistic, and short.  If you put too many items on your plate, your list, you probably will get only one or two things done, or nothing at all will be completed.  My Dad told me something a few years ago and I believe that is why I now have my bachelor's degree: 'You start but you don't finish'.  Ouch! He didn't mean it in a general sense, he was referring to my having not finished my degree at that point.  This leads to my next point.
• Listen to people who have your best interests at heart.  You don't have to do everything they say, but you should hear what they are saying.  Surround yourself with smart, forward-thinking people.  People whose lives you can see are headed in the right direction.   would you take advice from someone whose life is a mess and doesn't seem to be headed in the right direction?
• Learn to say no.  During the two years it took me to finish my bachelor's, I had to say no to many things I would have loved to do.  I was asked to teach a class, go to the movies, join certain groups.  Those were all good things to do, but my priority at that time was school.  Yes, I took a break once in a while to go to a movie or to the beach, but I did not add more items to my plate or hang  out with friends every weekend. Which, by the way, leads to my next point.
• Learn to prioritize.   Once you make your list, re-write your list in order of priority.  Did you know that everyone has priorities?  Whether they tell you what those priorities are, is another story.  Sometimes they may be your priority, but you may not be theirs.  Make sure you know what your priorities are and only change them if you are comfortable with the changes. 
• Check off each item as it as completed.  I am a list and day timer person.  I realize not everyone can be this way, I don't understand why.  Nevertheless, that's what works for me.  Checking items off your list will give you a sense of accomplishment and makes you look forward to the next items on your list with an "I can do this" attitude.  And you can do this!  Regardless of the road blocks, speed bumps and brick walls, you can do it.  We all run into blocks, getting through them is what separates us from the February fizzlers and makes us successful.  Go for it in 2013! Nevertheless!