Betrayal

Betrayal.  I don't know about you, but when I hear that word, it sends shivers down my spine.  If you have lived long enough you have been betrayed at least once.  If it only happens once in your life time it is more than enough.  As I observe betrayal whether in my life or someone Else's, one thing seems to ring true in every instance: the betrayer was a coward.  Something made him or her afraid and they decided to take the easy way out.  In American slang vernacular:  you got thrown under the bus.  That was the only way for the betrayer to obtain perceived vindication.  It was his only way out of a difficult situation.  In many cases it was a situation the betrayer created himself.  He became jealous, envious, or listened to the wrong people.  

Betrayal.  I'm not talking about being stood up for a lunch date or a friend changing their mind about plans you both made.  I'm talking about the type of betrayal that leaves you reeling for a very long time.  I'm talking about the person--friend or family member, in whom you put complete trust.  So much trust, they knew enough about you they could kill you and get away with it.  Sounds pretty harsh, but I'm talking about real life in my blogs this year.  This is the year of the different.  It will be different things for different people.  But this is going to be a year unlike any other.  No time for status quo. 

Betrayal.  Most of you know about the ultimate betrayal:  When Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.  'Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver Him to you?” And they counted out to him thirty pieces of silver.  So from that time he sought opportunity to betray Him'. --Matthew 26:14-16.  Judas was one of the 12 closest people to Jesus.  They traveled together, they ate meals together, they slept under the same roof, under the same stars.  

This is why as we grow in Christ and mature in age, we have to learn to watch and listen.  We have to ask God for wisdom as we watch people's actions and listen to the words that come out of their mouths.  We all miss queues and signs, regardless, it is how we handle the resulting mess that makes the difference.  How we handle the betrayers in our lives is very important.  How we handle the betrayer shows God that we can handle the blessings He has for us.  How do we handle our betrayers?  The same way Jesus handled Judas.  
 
'Now His betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him.”  Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.
But Jesus said to him, “Friend, why have you come?” --Matthew 26:48-50.  'Friend, why have you come?'  The key to dealing with betrayers is to 'Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.'--Matthew 10:16.  Protect your assets, protect your family, protect your heart, and let Jesus deal with the betrayer.  It will not always be easy, but it is the best way.  You will not be the first and you will not be the last to be betrayed.  How you handle it is important for your future. 

Betrayal hurts.  It's a wound that can take a very long time to heal.  The key is to make sure the wound heals and that it does not fester.  That it does not become infected with retribution, hatred, or revenge.  As the betrayed, you have a choice.  If you make the right choice, God will honor you and all of the people that are watching you.

'The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.'--Psalm 23:1-6 

     Amen.

All scripture taken from the New King James version of The Holy Bible.

Dumb stuff!

When I was in my 20's, I did some stupid stuff.  Yes, I can hear that collective sigh as most of you think to yourselves, 'that would be most of us'.  But one thing stands out as the dumbest thing I did in that decade of my 20's.  I bought a manual shift car.  What was stupid about that?  I did not know how to drive a manual shift.  To this day I do not remember how I made it home from the dealership. 

I remember thinking to myself though, 'it can't be that difficult can it?'  When I asked my Dad to give me a few pointers, he did just that and then I was on my own.  I distinctly remember hearing him grumble as he walked away, 'who buys a car without knowing how to drive it?' 

Every morning when I went out I looked into the car, expecting it to have changed from a manual shift to an automatic.  When I realized it was still a manual shift, my stomach would sink.  I conceded that it was a dumb idea, but I had no choice now.  I would have to learn.  I cannot tell you the amount of times I stalled in traffic, how many times I was cursed for holding up traffic, or how many times I begged God to help me! 

Life is like that.  We make mistakes: we spend too much money and then have buyers remorse.  We get into and stay in a relationship that was not God ordained.  We move to another city or job when deep down we know we should have stayed where we were, or at least waited.  We buy a car we do not know how to drive.  Then we ask God to get us out of the situation!  Guess what, He seldom does.  He will go through with us.  He will protect us through the journey of the mistake, but remove us from it, seldom. 

What I love about these learning experiences is that they strengthen us.  Some of our mistakes take years to fix, sometimes even a lifetime.  But when we trust in God, He will go through the valley with us.  "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me"--Psalm 23:4.      

A few years after I learned to drive a manual shift, I taught my youngest sister.  She did not think she would learn either, but she did indeed learn.  In fact, my Dad mentioned once that she drove better that I did!  My Dad is a comedian.  I decided to take that as a compliment.  I learned from my bad decision and was able to teach someone else from that mistake. 

Today, all these years later, I recently bought a new vehicle.  I needed a change, so it is a manual shift.  Yes, I am enjoying the change, and every once in a while I think about the silly decision that brought me to having a choice as to what kind of vehicle I can drive.  Should we all go out and do dumb stuff expecting to learn from it?  No, I would not take that chance, but I know when we trust and believe in God, He will take us through. 

Don't beat yourself up over your mistakes, stupid decisions, dumb stuff; whatever you want to call it.  Definitely think first.  Pray first.  Count to 10.  Do whatever you have to do to avoid that wrong decision.  But know that God does not abandon His children when we do dumb stuff.  I thank Him for that!

Time

With a new year upon us, I got to thinking about time.  I heard my dad say once, that 'you start dying the moment you are born'.  It sounded depressing, sad, but deep down I knew it was true.  When we become old enough to think about it, we start dreaming, making plans, and making bucket lists.  We think about the places we would like to visit, the careers we would like to have, the families we would like to start.  Some of those dreams happen, some do not, and some are delayed.  Life seldom goes as planned, but there is nothing wrong with planning.  Whether we plan or not, time happens.  Time marches on, it watches us age, and watches us change.

When I was nine years old, I was almost hit by a bus while waiting in a bus depot with my mom.  I stepped into the path of the bus and it was moving too fast to have stopped in time.  What saved me were the people, bystanders who yelled for me to get out of the way.  When I was 14 years old, I almost drowned in the school swimming pool.  A teacher pulled me out just in time.  When I was in my early 20's, I was driving to work on the interstate when a driver clipped the back fender of my little two-door hatchback.  That little  clip sent me spinning out of control, three times, even under an underpass.  Sometimes I think about those incidents and they don't sadden me, they make me think about how God saved my life in each instance, and how important time is. 

I think because of those near death experiences, I view time a little differently than most people.  In fact, I believe most people who have had near death experiences view time differently.  It's not taken for granted, but instead treated with respect.  We try to fit as much as we can into a 24-hour period.  Sometimes we over-do this and it drives others crazy.  Sometimes we crash from exhaustion. 

As we head into this new year, I would like to make a suggestion.  Time does not care about that book you want to write, those credits you need to finish your degree, or that trip you would like to take.  Time will march on regardless.  Time is aware that we will all die.  Hebrews 9:27 tells us that we all have an appointment with death.  We do not know when our time will be, but in the meantime, we all have the same 24 hours per day to meet those goals and dreams we keep talking about.  Most of us have heard the saying that 'talk is cheap'.  Well I agree.  Stop talking about what you are going to do, and just do it.  No one wants to constantly hear about your dreams, we would rather see you working towards and accomplishing them. 

The date on our daytimers has changed.  It is now 2014, and it will be for the next 12 months.  What will you do with your time?

Choose

This time of year many of us begin to think about next year.  Right after Christmas  gifts are opened, many people start thinking about the debt they have incurred, the jobs they must go back to, and what the future holds for the following year.

For the first two or three months of the new year, people consider making changes in their finances:  saving more money, putting more away for retirement, and spending less, etc.  But financial matters take work and most people are not willing to stick with it for the long haul.  But the long haul is what it will take.  Anything worth having, and financial security is worth having, takes work.  It's not something you can set up once and never review again until the money is needed.  Just like anything else of importance, changes and updates will need to be made from time to time.  This is especially true when life events happen--expected or unexpected.    

Although anytime is a great time to make changes, the beginning of the year is a great time.  Everyone considers the new year as a fresh start for saving money, losing weight, and investing in the relationships of family and friends.  The new year is traditionally a time of turning over a new leaf. 

The fact is however, we must have a plan.  We may have the best ideas and the best intentions, but without a plan, its just self-sabotage.  The good thing about plans is that they can be tweaked, changed.  Allowing for some change removes the frustration that can sometimes set in, when our plans are not going, well, as planned.  How much money would we like to save over the next 12 months?  Be realistic.  We would all like to save much more than we probably actually can, but we must start somewhere.  When planning for saving, we must look at our overall budget: income, bills, emergencies, etc.  Regardless, I guarantee that if you stick with your plan, by this time next year, you will be pleasantly surprised, and indeed a little proud of yourself. 

When planning, remember to include those who will be involved in your venture.  If you are married, that means your spouse.  If you have children that means they should be involved in saving as well.  Children are never too young to understand the value of money.  In fact, if they are not taught the value of money when they are very young, they are being set up for when they are accosted by credit card offers on their college campus, or just whimsical spending.  They are being set up for financial failure.

Speaking of financial failure, although I do not suggest you run out and spend like crazy because you can eventually recover from losing everything to bankruptcy, job loss, etc.,  it is not the end of the world.  But it does take time to recover, in some cases a very long time.  It is best to do things right the first time.  Do not be afraid to sit down with a financial counselor.  A third party always has an objective viewpoint that you and your family may not be able to see. 

This may not be obvious to everyone, so I will say it.  Saving money means you will not be able to buy everything you want, at least not right away.  If your plan is to save $50 per paycheck, that means $50 that cannot go towards that new pair of shoes, that nice bag, or that sudden road trip.  Stick to your plan no matter what, because something will always come up and you will find that you have saved nothing by this time next year. 

Finally, like most things of importance in life, you cannot tell everyone what you are doing, just do it!  Some friends and family members cannot handle change.  If they see you changing for the better, they may mean well, but be on the look out for sabotage.  The bottom line is this: many of you are believers who know that God watches over you, but He wants you to use common sense.  He wants us to treat our finances with care.  Opposition will come in the guise of emergencies and sabotage, but stick with it, and if you do have a true emergency, you will have the money to handle the situation.  Just remember to replenish the account.

I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed, safe, and happy new year.  Below is one of my favorite passages of scripture.  I hope it gives you the same peace it does me.   

“The Lord bless you and keep you;
 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’ Numbers 6:24-26.


                                                                                                                                       finance

Where the heart is

'...He raised up for them David as king, to whom also He gave testimony and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22.

This verse has been a source of comfort to me ever since I figured out what it really meant.  You see, for a long time I could not understand how God could call David a man after His own heart when David had done so many bad things and made so many wrong decisions.  God never changed His mind about what he said in the verse above.  After all, David committed adultery, murder, and lust.  He even looked the other way when one of his sons raped his own sister.  To say that he was the patriarch of a very dysfunctional family is to put it lightly. 

What I figured out about David was that he admitted his sins and short comings to God, and asked forgiveness whenever he did wrong. 

'Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your loving kindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
² Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight— ...' Psalm 51:1-4 

 

David's heart was in the right place because he admitted when he was wrong and asked God to forgive him.  He was just as human as we are today.  He made mistakes, made bad decisions; he went left when he should have gone right.  But at the end of the day, He knew that having a right relationship with God was what mattered most.

 

When we mess up, make a mistake, or make a bad decision, the first step to fixing things is to ask God to forgive us.  Once we do that, we are on the way to keeping our heart in the right place. 

 

Beware, when we start down the path of keeping our heart in the right place, we will be misunderstood by many, just like David was.  But as we read the Psalms we see that David did not allow naysayers to deter him.  Whenever he found himself in trouble with family issues or problems with enemies, he called out to God.  Call on God and he will take care of everything.  Just make sure your heart is in the right place.       

Heaven or Hell?

The last time I posted about loss was about four years ago when I lost an uncle and a very good friend.  It was unexpected in one case and expected in another.  But no matter how much we prepare for death, it is still unexpected when it happens.  It is unexpected because no matter how much we plan: buying the plot, choosing a coffin or a casket, designing the fliers, letting friends and family know, and the list goes on; that person is still gone.  There is no more reaching for the phone to tell a joke, in fact, the phone number might as well be deleted.  In the place of the phone number, the Face Book page, lunch dates, or going to the movies with a group of friends, is memories and emptiness where that person once existed.

The only consolation, the most important consolation, is to know the person went to Heaven.  In most cases we know by the type of life that person lived, exactly where their soul went after death.  That is one of the reasons Christians refer to human beings as souls.  If we know the person did not live a God kind of life, we are left to wonder if they were able to make their heart right with God in their final moments.      

Many people refuse to believe there is a Hell.  Some believe there is a Heaven but no Hell, and some believe there is neither. Many of us are aware of the beliefs of most major religions.  I am not here to bash religion, any religion.  I want to tell about my beliefs which are based on the word of God.  "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation." --Hebrews 9:27-28.  When we die, whether we believe or not, we will be judged.  Proverbs 15:24 says "The way of life winds upward for the wise, That he may turn away from hell below."  Heaven and Hell exist.

Death is a fact of life.  No one can avoid it, so we might as well talk about it, plan for it, be ready for it.  We must include in our planning where we would like to end up when we die.  I, like many of you, miss some people who have 'passed on'.  We can still hear their voices in our heads.  We remember encouraging words, we remember when they made us mad or we made them mad! We remember how their opposite personality brought out the best in us.  But they are gone.  The only way we will see them again is if we plan to go where we know they went.  

People like to tell jokes about how 'hell was full so the devil sent me back', or 'I want to go to hell so I can play pool and hang out with my friends forever.'  Trust me, there will be no time to play pool and hang out in Hell.  Read the book of Revelations in The Holy Bible for all the details.  

Yes, we are all missing someone right now, but the fact is they are gone.  Nothing we do can bring them back.  The best thing we can do is to be prepared when it is our time to go.         

Struggle

I've been thinking about struggle lately, and have come to the conclusion that struggle is a part of life.  It is a part of life because we are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world.  We struggle with dealing with prayers God has decided not to answer in our lives, we struggle with dealing with  personality conflicts, and we struggle with certain decisions we must make.  We struggle with plans we must make for the future, we struggle with the memories of past failures, and we struggle with issues we cannot change. 

Struggle, I believe, is a part of life whether or not we are living a Christian lifestyle.  In fact, I would venture to say that struggle is harder as a Christian because we have committed to living a certain lifestyle in front of the world, and we are being watched. Some are watching to see where our imperfections are, ready to point out when we lose our cool in certain situations or when we make the wrong decisions in other situations.  Many non-Christians believe that Christians should be perfect.  They do not understand that we are still human and will be until the day we die.  The difference is that as Christians, we should be striving after Jesus' word on how to live the Christ following life.  We are to be God-chasers, always growing, not keeping the same bad attitudes and bad  behaviors year in and year out, hoping no one notices; telling the world that 'this is just the way I am, take it or leave it.'   

I believe as Christians, when we mess up or when we do not handle certain situations properly; when we just do not have it in us to deal with certain personalities, we can and should talk to God about it.  I believe when He sees that we are trying and that we do not want to remain at the same level but that we want to chase after Him, trying every day to be more like Him, he will forgive us. 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.' Psalm 32:1. 

I believe the key as Christians is to realize that we will never be perfect, but that we serve a perfect God who knows we will never be perfect.  He knows that we need forgiveness, but it shouldn't be for the same bad attitude from 10 years ago.  We should be growing.  In fact, we should be growing in all of our relationships, not just the relationship we have with Jesus.  But that's another blog for another day.  Life is a struggle, but that's no excuse.  Let's continue to strive for that right attitude and that right response.  It's a struggle, but I know I will.