The last time I posted about loss was about four years ago when I lost an uncle and a very good friend. It was unexpected in one case and expected in another. But no matter how much we prepare for death, it is still unexpected when it happens. It is unexpected because no matter how much we plan: buying the plot, choosing a coffin or a casket, designing the fliers, letting friends and family know, and the list goes on; that person is still gone. There is no more reaching for the phone to tell a joke, in fact, the phone number might as well be deleted. In the place of the phone number, the Face Book page, lunch dates, or going to the movies with a group of friends, is memories and emptiness where that person once existed.
The only consolation, the most important consolation, is to know the person went to Heaven. In most cases we know by the type of life that person lived, exactly where their soul went after death. That is one of the reasons Christians refer to human beings as souls. If we know the person did not live a God kind of life, we are left to wonder if they were able to make their heart right with God in their final moments.
Many people refuse to believe there is a Hell. Some believe there is a Heaven but no Hell, and some believe there is neither. Many of us are aware of the beliefs of most major religions. I am not here to bash religion, any religion. I want to tell about my beliefs which are based on the word of God. "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation." --Hebrews 9:27-28. When we die, whether we believe or not, we will be judged. Proverbs 15:24 says "The way of life winds upward for the wise, That he may turn away from hell below." Heaven and Hell exist.
Death is a fact of life. No one can avoid it, so we might as well talk about it, plan for it, be ready for it. We must include in our planning where we would like to end up when we die. I, like many of you, miss some people who have 'passed on'. We can still hear their voices in our heads. We remember encouraging words, we remember when they made us mad or we made them mad! We remember how their opposite personality brought out the best in us. But they are gone. The only way we will see them again is if we plan to go where we know they went.
People like to tell jokes about how 'hell was full so the devil sent me back', or 'I want to go to hell so I can play pool and hang out with my friends forever.' Trust me, there will be no time to play pool and hang out in Hell. Read the book of Revelations in The Holy Bible for all the details.
Yes, we are all missing someone right now, but the fact is they are gone. Nothing we do can bring them back. The best thing we can do is to be prepared when it is our time to go.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Struggle
I've been thinking about struggle lately, and have come to the conclusion that struggle is a part of life. It is a part of life because we are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world. We struggle with dealing with prayers God has decided not to answer in our lives, we struggle with dealing with personality conflicts, and we struggle with certain decisions we must make. We struggle with plans we must make for the future, we struggle with the memories of past failures, and we struggle with issues we cannot change.
Struggle, I believe, is a part of life whether or not we are living a Christian lifestyle. In fact, I would venture to say that struggle is harder as a Christian because we have committed to living a certain lifestyle in front of the world, and we are being watched. Some are watching to see where our imperfections are, ready to point out when we lose our cool in certain situations or when we make the wrong decisions in other situations. Many non-Christians believe that Christians should be perfect. They do not understand that we are still human and will be until the day we die. The difference is that as Christians, we should be striving after Jesus' word on how to live the Christ following life. We are to be God-chasers, always growing, not keeping the same bad attitudes and bad behaviors year in and year out, hoping no one notices; telling the world that 'this is just the way I am, take it or leave it.'
I believe as Christians, when we mess up or when we do not handle certain situations properly; when we just do not have it in us to deal with certain personalities, we can and should talk to God about it. I believe when He sees that we are trying and that we do not want to remain at the same level but that we want to chase after Him, trying every day to be more like Him, he will forgive us. 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.' Psalm 32:1.
I believe the key as Christians is to realize that we will never be perfect, but that we serve a perfect God who knows we will never be perfect. He knows that we need forgiveness, but it shouldn't be for the same bad attitude from 10 years ago. We should be growing. In fact, we should be growing in all of our relationships, not just the relationship we have with Jesus. But that's another blog for another day. Life is a struggle, but that's no excuse. Let's continue to strive for that right attitude and that right response. It's a struggle, but I know I will.
Struggle, I believe, is a part of life whether or not we are living a Christian lifestyle. In fact, I would venture to say that struggle is harder as a Christian because we have committed to living a certain lifestyle in front of the world, and we are being watched. Some are watching to see where our imperfections are, ready to point out when we lose our cool in certain situations or when we make the wrong decisions in other situations. Many non-Christians believe that Christians should be perfect. They do not understand that we are still human and will be until the day we die. The difference is that as Christians, we should be striving after Jesus' word on how to live the Christ following life. We are to be God-chasers, always growing, not keeping the same bad attitudes and bad behaviors year in and year out, hoping no one notices; telling the world that 'this is just the way I am, take it or leave it.'
I believe as Christians, when we mess up or when we do not handle certain situations properly; when we just do not have it in us to deal with certain personalities, we can and should talk to God about it. I believe when He sees that we are trying and that we do not want to remain at the same level but that we want to chase after Him, trying every day to be more like Him, he will forgive us. 'Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.' Psalm 32:1.
I believe the key as Christians is to realize that we will never be perfect, but that we serve a perfect God who knows we will never be perfect. He knows that we need forgiveness, but it shouldn't be for the same bad attitude from 10 years ago. We should be growing. In fact, we should be growing in all of our relationships, not just the relationship we have with Jesus. But that's another blog for another day. Life is a struggle, but that's no excuse. Let's continue to strive for that right attitude and that right response. It's a struggle, but I know I will.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Personal poll-taker
I am a personal poll-taker. What is a personal poll-taker you ask? I like to ask people certain questions during the course of conversation then make a mental note of their answer. I have learned quite a bit over the years about human nature. We are more alike than we want to admit. Most of us believe we are so individualistic there is no one else like us on the planet, and of course to some extent that is true. No one has the same fingerprint after all. I find that amazing! But what I am referring to is the fact that we all bleed red blood. We all feel hurt and pain, we all want to live a good life, and we all desire respect.
There is one poll where I don’t ask questions however. I just observe. Please note the word observe. I do not judge, I observe. When we find ourselves in serious trouble: health issues, financial problems, marital problems, and the list goes on; to whom do we turn? I’ve noticed that in the aftermath of horrible events such as thousands killed in earthquakes, terrible tornadoes, debilitating hurricanes, and monsoons, many people turn to God. We turn to Him directly if we are Christ followers and for those who are not, they show up to church for a few Sundays in the aftermath or they ask Christ-following friends to pray for them.
What does this have to do with my poll-taking? I like to see who sticks with God and who forgets once the storm has passed. Do you see why I said in the beginning that I observe I do not judge? It’s not rocket science to watch how people live before, during, and after a time of testing. Some people go back to life as they knew it and others decide they want to continue a relationship with God, with Jesus Christ.
No, all of our problems do not go away once we have a relationship with Christ, but life is put into perspective and we have someone to turn to at all times. Not just when times are bad. We talk to Him and thank Him during the good times as well. That’s what relationship is. It’s not different because it’s with Jesus. Any relationship would suffer or die if it were not maintained. In fact, most of us would be upset if we had a friend who only showed up or called when they needed something. How about you? Is it back to life as usual once the trial is over?
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Tapestry
I recently switched schools for my MBA program. Instead of one six week class continuously except for two weeks off between Christmas and New Years, I am now taking two classes at a time, the classes go for 11 weeks at a time. My Mom asked me if I thought I bit off more than I can chew. I thought for a few seconds and then said 'I can do it.' She said 'ok, that's what I wanted to hear'. Then she quoted that well-known verse, you know the one, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' Philippians 4:13.
For one of my classes I was reading about some regulations that were implemented during Ronald Reagan's presidency. It got me to thinking how although he has been gone for a number of years, his time in the White House continues to resonate down through the years. Then I thought about how he added to the tapestry that makes up not only the United States of America, but to the world.
Not everyone will have the opportunity to have the impact Ronald Reagan did, but that is no excuse for us not to be the best we can be; to make the best contribution to humanity that we can in our corner of our world. As I thought this through, I realized that most people will make an impact upon the world by the way they raise their children and nurture their grand children. For those of us who do not and will not have children, there is still no excuse. What impact are we having on our nieces and nephews? What impact do we have on our family, friends, and co-workers? Whether we like it or not, whether we believe it or not, we too have an impact on the tapestry. Will it be a good impact or a bad impact? Will it be negative or positive?
I recall a conversation I had with my brother a number of years ago. He had to set me straight on my thinking process based on the conversation we were having. He's one of those people who talks to you without talking down to you. He's like a psychologist, asking you questions that make you think about what you are saying until the light bulb goes on in your head! The outcome of that conversation, like the many conversations we have had, has resonated with me down through the years. He makes me think outside the box, something I am not naturally prone to doing. The basic outcome of that conversation was that we are all here for a reason. We are all making a contribution to this planet.
What is your contribution? It can be as small as taking your kids to the park or going to a niece or nephew's game or recital. What I don't think many of us realize is one small thing can impact positively or negatively, another human being. When my Daddy was just a little pre-teen, he took the ferry from one island over to the island on which he lived. Unfortunately he got off at the wrong stop and found that he was lost. He stood there apparently looking lost. A lady noticed he was lost, that he was on the other side of the island from where he was supposed to be. She took him home, fed him and put him to bed with her kids. When he woke up the next morning she had one of her older children walk him home. Now I realize that would be a big risk in this day and age, but in his day, that was perfectly fine. I did not know that story until recently. Why did my Dad tell us the story? Because all of these years later, one of the woman's children was in the audience of a concert my sister and her husband were having at a church in a city in which she was visiting. Someone told her who my sister is. My Dad told us that from the time the lady rescued him, his aunts, who by the way raised him, sent fresh caught fish and other foods to the lady on a regular basis.
Are we perfect? No we're not, but we had better do the best we can by each other as much as possible. We never know where we will end up in life. Regardless, we will be adding to the tapestry. Why not make it a beautiful and positive addition?
For one of my classes I was reading about some regulations that were implemented during Ronald Reagan's presidency. It got me to thinking how although he has been gone for a number of years, his time in the White House continues to resonate down through the years. Then I thought about how he added to the tapestry that makes up not only the United States of America, but to the world.
Not everyone will have the opportunity to have the impact Ronald Reagan did, but that is no excuse for us not to be the best we can be; to make the best contribution to humanity that we can in our corner of our world. As I thought this through, I realized that most people will make an impact upon the world by the way they raise their children and nurture their grand children. For those of us who do not and will not have children, there is still no excuse. What impact are we having on our nieces and nephews? What impact do we have on our family, friends, and co-workers? Whether we like it or not, whether we believe it or not, we too have an impact on the tapestry. Will it be a good impact or a bad impact? Will it be negative or positive?
I recall a conversation I had with my brother a number of years ago. He had to set me straight on my thinking process based on the conversation we were having. He's one of those people who talks to you without talking down to you. He's like a psychologist, asking you questions that make you think about what you are saying until the light bulb goes on in your head! The outcome of that conversation, like the many conversations we have had, has resonated with me down through the years. He makes me think outside the box, something I am not naturally prone to doing. The basic outcome of that conversation was that we are all here for a reason. We are all making a contribution to this planet.
What is your contribution? It can be as small as taking your kids to the park or going to a niece or nephew's game or recital. What I don't think many of us realize is one small thing can impact positively or negatively, another human being. When my Daddy was just a little pre-teen, he took the ferry from one island over to the island on which he lived. Unfortunately he got off at the wrong stop and found that he was lost. He stood there apparently looking lost. A lady noticed he was lost, that he was on the other side of the island from where he was supposed to be. She took him home, fed him and put him to bed with her kids. When he woke up the next morning she had one of her older children walk him home. Now I realize that would be a big risk in this day and age, but in his day, that was perfectly fine. I did not know that story until recently. Why did my Dad tell us the story? Because all of these years later, one of the woman's children was in the audience of a concert my sister and her husband were having at a church in a city in which she was visiting. Someone told her who my sister is. My Dad told us that from the time the lady rescued him, his aunts, who by the way raised him, sent fresh caught fish and other foods to the lady on a regular basis.
Are we perfect? No we're not, but we had better do the best we can by each other as much as possible. We never know where we will end up in life. Regardless, we will be adding to the tapestry. Why not make it a beautiful and positive addition?
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Stay in your lane
I heard a pastor on television this morning say 'if you are doing something good in this world, you will have critics. The only way not to have critics is to do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.' Our critics can be family members, friends, co-workers, or people who just do not like us on sight. You know those people who look the other way every time you walk into the room.
Some people succumb to the pressure and decide to go with the flow, follow the crowd, because it is easier to go along and get along. These people do not realize that the crowd really does not care who they are, but as long as they stay in their place everything will be fine.
There are those of us however, who have decided that we do not need the crowd to survive. We know what we have been called to do and we are in hot pursuit! When we are in hot pursuit it can be lonely and confusing, but we know deep down why we are here. I don't know about you, but once God told me why I was put on this planet, he set the wheels in motion for me to pursue. God does not direct us toward a goal He has not created us to achieve. When we mess up, He does not put us aside and use someone else. He has a purpose for all of us in His Kingdom. He will use our mistakes to guide us toward the very same goal. He does not waste anything!
Do we need friends, family, and associates? Of course we do. Someone else said 'No man is an island.' We need each other, not to use each other, but to help each other, to uplift each other. But if we know there are people in our lives, or even strangers, who do no want us to 'surpass' them or some other family or friend, then we must recognize what is happening, pray for these people and let God work in their lives while He continues to work in our lives.
Some of you may know the story of Jesus when he was just 12 years old, he and his parents went up to Passover which was an annual custom in their day. On their way back home they realized he was not with them! They had to back track, and found him teaching the adults in the Synagogue! They were upset with him asking him why he did this. '...And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.' Luke 2:49-50.
Do not stop, stand still, say nothing, and do nothing, when you know why you are here. That is displeasing to God. Ask Him for strength, and keep on moving!
Some people succumb to the pressure and decide to go with the flow, follow the crowd, because it is easier to go along and get along. These people do not realize that the crowd really does not care who they are, but as long as they stay in their place everything will be fine.
There are those of us however, who have decided that we do not need the crowd to survive. We know what we have been called to do and we are in hot pursuit! When we are in hot pursuit it can be lonely and confusing, but we know deep down why we are here. I don't know about you, but once God told me why I was put on this planet, he set the wheels in motion for me to pursue. God does not direct us toward a goal He has not created us to achieve. When we mess up, He does not put us aside and use someone else. He has a purpose for all of us in His Kingdom. He will use our mistakes to guide us toward the very same goal. He does not waste anything!
Do we need friends, family, and associates? Of course we do. Someone else said 'No man is an island.' We need each other, not to use each other, but to help each other, to uplift each other. But if we know there are people in our lives, or even strangers, who do no want us to 'surpass' them or some other family or friend, then we must recognize what is happening, pray for these people and let God work in their lives while He continues to work in our lives.
Some of you may know the story of Jesus when he was just 12 years old, he and his parents went up to Passover which was an annual custom in their day. On their way back home they realized he was not with them! They had to back track, and found him teaching the adults in the Synagogue! They were upset with him asking him why he did this. '...And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.' Luke 2:49-50.
Do not stop, stand still, say nothing, and do nothing, when you know why you are here. That is displeasing to God. Ask Him for strength, and keep on moving!
Sunday, June 9, 2013
My element
I love to sing. My family loves music. My mother sang soprano and tenor in the church choir for many years. My maternal grandfather played banjo so well he was in several competitions. Although he has gone to Heaven, I can still hear his music in my head. Most of my uncles, my brother, my oldest nephew, and one or two of my aunts, play guitar. Music, singing, runs in our veins.
I love art. I could spend a whole week in any museum. To me, art represents the history, another thing I love, of the people whose drawings, prints, pottery, and clothing I am viewing. I love history because I love to hear where people came from, what their family name means, how they arrived at today. I love to hear the elderly talk about their lives, there is so much wisdom and so much to learn from their experiences.
My element however, is writing. I have been writing since age 11. When I write I get lost in time and in the subject on which I am writing. As I sit here writing this blog, I have two articles and a school paper, all with deadlines on which I am working; not to mention the two books I have been asking God to provide the time for me to work on. Most people would find the thought of all of this writing overwhelming. But the fact is when you are in your element, what others may find difficult you will find easy.
What is your element? Are you doing it or are you making excuses? Your element may not make you money, at least not in the beginning. I would venture to say it is something you can do outside of work. So no, you do not have to give up your job to 'do' your element.
Another way to view element is to see it as the reason you are on this earth. Many of us work day jobs but there is this one thing we love to do, not a hobby, but our element; that not only helps us but helps others. Your element could be that of being a good parent, a tutor, assisting special needs people, etc. If you do not know what your element is, ask God to tell you. I promise when you realize your element and start working on it, you will realize a new sense of fulfillment. You will realize your reason for being here.
I love art. I could spend a whole week in any museum. To me, art represents the history, another thing I love, of the people whose drawings, prints, pottery, and clothing I am viewing. I love history because I love to hear where people came from, what their family name means, how they arrived at today. I love to hear the elderly talk about their lives, there is so much wisdom and so much to learn from their experiences.
My element however, is writing. I have been writing since age 11. When I write I get lost in time and in the subject on which I am writing. As I sit here writing this blog, I have two articles and a school paper, all with deadlines on which I am working; not to mention the two books I have been asking God to provide the time for me to work on. Most people would find the thought of all of this writing overwhelming. But the fact is when you are in your element, what others may find difficult you will find easy.
What is your element? Are you doing it or are you making excuses? Your element may not make you money, at least not in the beginning. I would venture to say it is something you can do outside of work. So no, you do not have to give up your job to 'do' your element.
Another way to view element is to see it as the reason you are on this earth. Many of us work day jobs but there is this one thing we love to do, not a hobby, but our element; that not only helps us but helps others. Your element could be that of being a good parent, a tutor, assisting special needs people, etc. If you do not know what your element is, ask God to tell you. I promise when you realize your element and start working on it, you will realize a new sense of fulfillment. You will realize your reason for being here.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Humility
Humility, some are born with it the rest have to learn it, usually the hard way. When I think of the humble people in my life, I notice one common trait they have. They love God. They decided to put him first. The non-humble people decided to put themselves first.
I like to do my own personal studies of human nature. I guess you can say I am a people watcher. Whether I'm sitting on a park bench at a public venue, reading how people portray themselves on social media, or just listening and watching how people interact with each other. I have even caught myself reviewing how I dealt with a certain situation. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.
To be transparent, I believe I am one who had to learn humility. My parents are humble, but it seems to be the one thing they could not teach me. Life taught me. You see, humility is mentioned several times in the Bible. God seems to appreciate the person who can be humble because those are the people with whom he can more easily work. Have you ever tried to work with someone who was not humble? They know it all, they know more than you do, they don't trust or believe anything anyone else says. It seems like they were born all-knowing!
Humble people on the other hand, maintain a teachable spirit. They may know what you are talking about, but they listen anyway. It's not that they want you to stumble or that they appreciate you showing off, they just know, or have learned how to sit quietly until it is their turn. And when it is their turn, they take their turn with class. Humble people sometimes protect others from themselves. I will let you think about that.
I heard a pastor tell a story recently. He was just starting out in his ministry and had a small congregation. He and some of his leaders invited a well-known man to come and speak to his congregation. They invited people from all around, posted fliers, everyone anticipated hearing from this man. The day before he was supposed to go to speak, he called the pastor and asked him how big his congregation was. When the pastor told him, he told the pastor the congregation was too small and that he had changed his mind. The pastor tried to get him to change his decision but he would not. When everyone showed up, they were told that the speaker would not be there. I can imagine how he felt. He did not tell them why. He protected this speaker from himself.
From all accounts, God dealt with this man. He ended up losing his wealth, his wife, his social standing. He talked about it years later and it so happens the pastor was in attendance to hear this man give the account of how he lost everything. If we do not learn humility, God will teach it to us. I don't know about you, but I would rather learn it on my own.
I don't believe humility is always easy, but I believe it's the best course of action. If we stop trying to fix things, fix people, fix situations, and allow God to work, it is amazing the outcome we will see. I have noticed in my life that humility works much better than not. I have come to appreciate the trait some people so naturally have. It has protected me from silly arguments, bad decisions, and a quick tongue. It has allowed me to let go and let God. Trust me, it's amazing the way God fixes things when we humble ourselves before Him an let him work.
'Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.' Daniel 10:12.
I like to do my own personal studies of human nature. I guess you can say I am a people watcher. Whether I'm sitting on a park bench at a public venue, reading how people portray themselves on social media, or just listening and watching how people interact with each other. I have even caught myself reviewing how I dealt with a certain situation. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.
To be transparent, I believe I am one who had to learn humility. My parents are humble, but it seems to be the one thing they could not teach me. Life taught me. You see, humility is mentioned several times in the Bible. God seems to appreciate the person who can be humble because those are the people with whom he can more easily work. Have you ever tried to work with someone who was not humble? They know it all, they know more than you do, they don't trust or believe anything anyone else says. It seems like they were born all-knowing!
Humble people on the other hand, maintain a teachable spirit. They may know what you are talking about, but they listen anyway. It's not that they want you to stumble or that they appreciate you showing off, they just know, or have learned how to sit quietly until it is their turn. And when it is their turn, they take their turn with class. Humble people sometimes protect others from themselves. I will let you think about that.
I heard a pastor tell a story recently. He was just starting out in his ministry and had a small congregation. He and some of his leaders invited a well-known man to come and speak to his congregation. They invited people from all around, posted fliers, everyone anticipated hearing from this man. The day before he was supposed to go to speak, he called the pastor and asked him how big his congregation was. When the pastor told him, he told the pastor the congregation was too small and that he had changed his mind. The pastor tried to get him to change his decision but he would not. When everyone showed up, they were told that the speaker would not be there. I can imagine how he felt. He did not tell them why. He protected this speaker from himself.
From all accounts, God dealt with this man. He ended up losing his wealth, his wife, his social standing. He talked about it years later and it so happens the pastor was in attendance to hear this man give the account of how he lost everything. If we do not learn humility, God will teach it to us. I don't know about you, but I would rather learn it on my own.
I don't believe humility is always easy, but I believe it's the best course of action. If we stop trying to fix things, fix people, fix situations, and allow God to work, it is amazing the outcome we will see. I have noticed in my life that humility works much better than not. I have come to appreciate the trait some people so naturally have. It has protected me from silly arguments, bad decisions, and a quick tongue. It has allowed me to let go and let God. Trust me, it's amazing the way God fixes things when we humble ourselves before Him an let him work.
'Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.' Daniel 10:12.
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