As we continue to make our way into the new year, it is very easy to look back at all of the bad things that have happened to us, family, and friends. We may even blame God for not working things out in our favor. It is human nature to want to lay blame because somehow that gives us closure. If we have no one to blame, the issue tends to stick around until we find some way to deal with it.
Sometimes however, there is no one and nothing to blame. Life happens and there are some things in life to which we will never have the answer. When these problems arise, we must decide if we will let them affect us by allowing them to hang around for the rest of our lives, or if we will gain control and make the decision to move on with what we have left.
I am not saying we should forget. There are some things we cannot and should not forget because if we do, the issue may repeat itself. We should not forget whole groups of people who are murdered in cold blood. We should not forget the loss of a loved one. We should not forget the loss of a dream or hope. We should not forget an unanswered prayer. We should remember though, that we are still alive. Dreams and hopes change. We can keep positive memories of loved ones in our hearts. And we can learn to live, in a positive and uplifting way, with our unanswered prayer.
Life is all about choices. We can choose to live the best life possible. We can choose what kind of life we would like to live. We can choose to look back at the bad things or choose to forge ahead and choose the good things?
'His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10 NIV.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Cliques
I am so glad Jesus did not have a cliquey attitude towards people. He spoke with, cared about, and loved everyone he came in contact with; even when they did not feel the same way about him.
In one of my morning devotions this week, the story of Zacchaeus was discussed in the context of 'making it right', which was the title of the devotional. The author discussed how Zacchaeus repented of his sins upon meeting Jesus, and promising to make things right. But as I read the devotional, it occurred to me that although others grumbled at what nerve Jesus had for sitting down for dinner with a known thief, Jesus did not care.
'And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. And behold, there was a man name Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich. And he sought to see Jesus, who he was, and could not, for the press, because he was little in stature. And he ran before, and climbed, up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house. And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it they murmured saying, that he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner.'-Luke 19:1-7.
You see, Jesus did not care what others thought, He was about Kingdom Business. He wants as many people as possible to be with him in Heaven so what people think here on Earth does not matter. Jesus knew who his core group was, his disciples. Those were the people with whom he shared living space, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner; shared deep discussions. Jesus knew the difference between the people with whom he had deeper relationships and the people with whom he had to interact in order to heal their hearts. He spoke with people of 'ill-repute' (the woman at the well), people who did not fit in (the woman with the issue of blood), Zacchaeus (tax collector who skimmed then pocketed the difference), and the list goes on.
Jesus could not attend church and sit in the same pew on the same side of the church every Sunday, talking only to the people whom he knew and looking the other way when strangers sat nearby. He did not run people through a battery of tests before accepting them, but used discernment. He knew when to shake the dust off of his shoes and keep walking. He used common sense.
No one gets along or is loved by everyone, but as Christians, we must allow ourselves to be approachable and when lead, we must cultivate the ability to approach anyone. This is definitely harder for some of us to do than others, but I believe as reserved as some of us are, people can sense that we will respond positively when approached. That is the Christian attitude and way of life. Let's work on it.
In one of my morning devotions this week, the story of Zacchaeus was discussed in the context of 'making it right', which was the title of the devotional. The author discussed how Zacchaeus repented of his sins upon meeting Jesus, and promising to make things right. But as I read the devotional, it occurred to me that although others grumbled at what nerve Jesus had for sitting down for dinner with a known thief, Jesus did not care.
'And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. And behold, there was a man name Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich. And he sought to see Jesus, who he was, and could not, for the press, because he was little in stature. And he ran before, and climbed, up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house. And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it they murmured saying, that he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner.'-Luke 19:1-7.
You see, Jesus did not care what others thought, He was about Kingdom Business. He wants as many people as possible to be with him in Heaven so what people think here on Earth does not matter. Jesus knew who his core group was, his disciples. Those were the people with whom he shared living space, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner; shared deep discussions. Jesus knew the difference between the people with whom he had deeper relationships and the people with whom he had to interact in order to heal their hearts. He spoke with people of 'ill-repute' (the woman at the well), people who did not fit in (the woman with the issue of blood), Zacchaeus (tax collector who skimmed then pocketed the difference), and the list goes on.
Jesus could not attend church and sit in the same pew on the same side of the church every Sunday, talking only to the people whom he knew and looking the other way when strangers sat nearby. He did not run people through a battery of tests before accepting them, but used discernment. He knew when to shake the dust off of his shoes and keep walking. He used common sense.
No one gets along or is loved by everyone, but as Christians, we must allow ourselves to be approachable and when lead, we must cultivate the ability to approach anyone. This is definitely harder for some of us to do than others, but I believe as reserved as some of us are, people can sense that we will respond positively when approached. That is the Christian attitude and way of life. Let's work on it.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Fodder
For many years I prayed for healing. I hoped and prayed, knowing God would heal me, assuming He was taking so long because I am apparently a 'late bloomer.' Every good thing that has happened in my life has happened later in my life than most people. Life is like that for many of us. So when the healing did not happen, I was initially alright, but then things began to go downhill. I had to step out of myself and my normal way of dealing with pain, to get things under control. But in the middle of all of those years, and even now, I have had to deal with fodder. What is fodder? Fodder= fod·der noun.
For the purpose of this post, I will use meanings one and two, but I will modify meaning number two since I do not believe human beings should be considered fodder. Although I consider myself to have a sense of humor, I am not a comedian, so meaning number three is out.
So, I, like everyone else I am sure, has had to deal with foot-in-mouth syndrome. Fortunately, for those of us who may be prone to this syndrome, we know we have the syndrome and we work on it instead of making excuses for why we can't change. After all, if we do not admit our weaknesses as well as your strengths, our weaknesses can run and potentially ruin your life. It does not have to be that way. At any rate, that is another subject for another day.
Fodder. Many of us have secret hurts and unanswered prayers that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. We do not usually discuss this things with strangers or even with acquaintances. Our family members and close friends probably know, and those are the people to whom we turn. But some things are evident to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, others. And although these things are evident, some people have decided that they would 'go there'. These people have decided for their own reasons: pride, jealousy, envy, low self-esteem, to allow fodder to come out of their mouths. This is usually done in an effort to make themselves seem or feel bigger, due to their own struggle, realized or un-realized, of the before mentioned nouns.
You see, when people--Christians and non-Christians--struggle with these issues, they will take it out on the person standing closest to them. We must decide how to deal with the fodder that comes out of these people's mouths. We can allow the fodder to set us up for a daily fight. We can become bitter towards people in general, or we can use the fodder to help others and ourselves. I have decided to do just that. I have decided that whenever someone comes down with foot-in-mouth syndrome at my expense, or they allow fodder to come out of their mouth because of pride, jealousy, envy, or low self-esteem, I will use what they say in my next book, in a positive and tasteful way.
For those of you who do not write, I would suggest taking fodder and turning it around for the positive. Do not allow fodder and foot-in-mouth disease to take you to a negative place. It's not worth it to you or to those around you. I would also pray for these people, because usually it is a handful of repeat offenders, so you know who they are. And remember that we are all human. Any of us can succumb to foot-in-mouth disease. We all make mistakes. I am referring though, to people who usually know exactly what they are doing.
Be wise about who you spend time with, remain positive, pray for these people, and turn fodder into something positive. If this helps, remember that when animals eat fodder, it does not kill them, it is for their good and for ours, in the end.
1. coarse food for livestock, composed of entire plants, including leaves, stalks, and grain, of such forages as corn and sorghum. 2. people considered as readily available and of little value: cannon fodder. 3. raw material: fodder for a comedian's routine. (Dictionary.com).
So, I, like everyone else I am sure, has had to deal with foot-in-mouth syndrome. Fortunately, for those of us who may be prone to this syndrome, we know we have the syndrome and we work on it instead of making excuses for why we can't change. After all, if we do not admit our weaknesses as well as your strengths, our weaknesses can run and potentially ruin your life. It does not have to be that way. At any rate, that is another subject for another day.
Fodder. Many of us have secret hurts and unanswered prayers that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. We do not usually discuss this things with strangers or even with acquaintances. Our family members and close friends probably know, and those are the people to whom we turn. But some things are evident to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, others. And although these things are evident, some people have decided that they would 'go there'. These people have decided for their own reasons: pride, jealousy, envy, low self-esteem, to allow fodder to come out of their mouths. This is usually done in an effort to make themselves seem or feel bigger, due to their own struggle, realized or un-realized, of the before mentioned nouns.
You see, when people--Christians and non-Christians--struggle with these issues, they will take it out on the person standing closest to them. We must decide how to deal with the fodder that comes out of these people's mouths. We can allow the fodder to set us up for a daily fight. We can become bitter towards people in general, or we can use the fodder to help others and ourselves. I have decided to do just that. I have decided that whenever someone comes down with foot-in-mouth syndrome at my expense, or they allow fodder to come out of their mouth because of pride, jealousy, envy, or low self-esteem, I will use what they say in my next book, in a positive and tasteful way.
For those of you who do not write, I would suggest taking fodder and turning it around for the positive. Do not allow fodder and foot-in-mouth disease to take you to a negative place. It's not worth it to you or to those around you. I would also pray for these people, because usually it is a handful of repeat offenders, so you know who they are. And remember that we are all human. Any of us can succumb to foot-in-mouth disease. We all make mistakes. I am referring though, to people who usually know exactly what they are doing.
Be wise about who you spend time with, remain positive, pray for these people, and turn fodder into something positive. If this helps, remember that when animals eat fodder, it does not kill them, it is for their good and for ours, in the end.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Success requires work!
As we head into a new year, many people are feverishly working on their new years resolutions lists and trying to complete their 2012 resolutions. Many people will follow through on their resolutions through February or March before they give up and fizzle out. But a small number of people will continue to plug away through the entire year. They will run into road blocks, speed bumps, and brick walls, but they will push through. Nevertheless. I love that word, it's one of my favorite words. Nevertheless. To which group will you belong in the new year?
Even if you belonged to the first group, you now have a chance to join the second group. It will not be easy. If you are like most people, you work a full time job, you are working on a degree, you have relationships to maintain, bills to pay, the list goes on. I work a full time job, am working on two books, and my MBA program starts in a few days. Your life list may be slightly different or slightly similar. Nevertheless, if you want to be successful in the new year and for the rest of your life for that matter; whatever your idea of success is, success requires work.
The following list will help you as you strive to be successful. This is the list that has helped me in the past:
Even if you belonged to the first group, you now have a chance to join the second group. It will not be easy. If you are like most people, you work a full time job, you are working on a degree, you have relationships to maintain, bills to pay, the list goes on. I work a full time job, am working on two books, and my MBA program starts in a few days. Your life list may be slightly different or slightly similar. Nevertheless, if you want to be successful in the new year and for the rest of your life for that matter; whatever your idea of success is, success requires work.
The following list will help you as you strive to be successful. This is the list that has helped me in the past:
- Make a list of everything you would like to accomplish in 2013. Make the list comprehensive, realistic, and short. If you put too many items on your plate, your list, you probably will get only one or two things done, or nothing at all will be completed. My Dad told me something a few years ago and I believe that is why I now have my bachelor's degree: 'You start but you don't finish'. Ouch! He didn't mean it in a general sense, he was referring to my having not finished my degree at that point. This leads to my next point.
- Listen to people who have your best interests at heart. You don't have to do everything they say, but you should hear what they are saying. Surround yourself with smart, forward-thinking people. People whose lives you can see are headed in the right direction. would you take advice from someone whose life is a mess and doesn't seem to be headed in the right direction?
- Learn to say no. During the two years it took me to finish my bachelor's, I had to say no to many things I would have loved to do. I was asked to teach a class, go to the movies, join certain groups. Those were all good things to do, but my priority at that time was school. Yes, I took a break once in a while to go to a movie or to the beach, but I did not add more items to my plate or hang out with friends every weekend. Which, by the way, leads to my next point.
- Learn to prioritize. Once you make your list, re-write your list in order of priority. Did you know that everyone has priorities? Whether they tell you what those priorities are, is another story. Sometimes they may be your priority, but you may not be theirs. Make sure you know what your priorities are and only change them if you are comfortable with the changes.
- Check off each item as it as completed. I am a list and day timer person. I realize not everyone can be this way, I don't understand why. Nevertheless, that's what works for me. Checking items off your list will give you a sense of accomplishment and makes you look forward to the next items on your list with an "I can do this" attitude. And you can do this! Regardless of the road blocks, speed bumps and brick walls, you can do it. We all run into blocks, getting through them is what separates us from the February fizzlers and makes us successful. Go for it in 2013! Nevertheless!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Grief, what to do with it?
Before Sandy hook and after, grief was and is, and will be. My heart continues to break along with human beings all over the world who can only ask 'why, how?' I feel a consensus of numbness and disbelief wherever I go and to whomever I speak. As human beings we just cannot bring ourselves to believe that something exists in another human being that can bring him, or her, to the point of committing such an act as was committed at Newtown, CT., USA.
Many discussions have ensued: gun control, mental illness, and of course silly conspiracy theories. But what about grief? How should we deal with the grief? "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18. The smarter we become as a society, as human beings, the more we let some things slide; go by the wayside. If we are to have a chance as human beings, just like in any personal relationship, we must face every aspect of that relationship: the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is the only way the relationship will grow and become beautiful, and cherished.
We must face grief, walk through it and keep going until it no longer engulfs us. At the same time we cannot forget it. It becomes not a garish uncomely way for us to present ourselves to the world; but a part of us that is strength, empathy, remembrance, and honor. We are strong in that we made it through. We empathize with others who are walking through. We remember our loss--a child, a loved one. We honor that loved one. When we do these things, we realize we can make it through.
Many discussions have ensued: gun control, mental illness, and of course silly conspiracy theories. But what about grief? How should we deal with the grief? "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18. The smarter we become as a society, as human beings, the more we let some things slide; go by the wayside. If we are to have a chance as human beings, just like in any personal relationship, we must face every aspect of that relationship: the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is the only way the relationship will grow and become beautiful, and cherished.
We must face grief, walk through it and keep going until it no longer engulfs us. At the same time we cannot forget it. It becomes not a garish uncomely way for us to present ourselves to the world; but a part of us that is strength, empathy, remembrance, and honor. We are strong in that we made it through. We empathize with others who are walking through. We remember our loss--a child, a loved one. We honor that loved one. When we do these things, we realize we can make it through.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
The fiscal cliff
What I am about to say will seem harsh to some and true to others. We should be ready for the fiscal cliff whether or not it happens. As Americans we should be more financially prepared for whatever comes down the pike than we usually are. Unfortunately this type of thinking comes later in life after we have made most of our financial mistakes and are in the midst of fixing, or 'repairing' those mistakes.
One of my favorite phrases lately is 'you don't know what's coming down the pike.' Since no one knows what's coming down the pike, we must save accordingly. I have discussed this in previous posts but I cannot say it enough. No matter how much or how little we make, we must put something away for a rainy day. In these days of rampant layoffs, downsizing or demotions, and multiple job changes during our working years; we have to find a way to stay ahead of the curve, or the mayhem that ensues when a sudden financial loss occurs in our lives.
It is only a matter of time for each of us to hit a terrible financial roadblock, something we did not see coming. American society has gone through some serious financial changes since 2008 when the housing bubble burst, uh, exploded. Some of us have considered our financial ways, but many people still want to keep up with the Joneses, overspend, and live above our means. But what happens when that unexpected pink slip is so kindly handed to us and we do not have three to six months saved for a rainy day?
I am not trying to spread doom and gloom, I am spreading hope. We can maintain our own hope by exercising common sense in our spending, the amount of debt we allow ourselves to carry, and paying attention to the signs and to the times. Too many of us are crashing and burning financially every time a pink slip is handed out. Let us maintain more control over what happens to us financially if or when we are sent packing whether it is being released from our job or if our tax burden increases because we go over the fiscal cliff, which some have mentioned is actually a fiscal slope.
Slope or cliff, we must not be afraid but do the best we can with what we have, what we have been given.
One of my favorite phrases lately is 'you don't know what's coming down the pike.' Since no one knows what's coming down the pike, we must save accordingly. I have discussed this in previous posts but I cannot say it enough. No matter how much or how little we make, we must put something away for a rainy day. In these days of rampant layoffs, downsizing or demotions, and multiple job changes during our working years; we have to find a way to stay ahead of the curve, or the mayhem that ensues when a sudden financial loss occurs in our lives.
It is only a matter of time for each of us to hit a terrible financial roadblock, something we did not see coming. American society has gone through some serious financial changes since 2008 when the housing bubble burst, uh, exploded. Some of us have considered our financial ways, but many people still want to keep up with the Joneses, overspend, and live above our means. But what happens when that unexpected pink slip is so kindly handed to us and we do not have three to six months saved for a rainy day?
I am not trying to spread doom and gloom, I am spreading hope. We can maintain our own hope by exercising common sense in our spending, the amount of debt we allow ourselves to carry, and paying attention to the signs and to the times. Too many of us are crashing and burning financially every time a pink slip is handed out. Let us maintain more control over what happens to us financially if or when we are sent packing whether it is being released from our job or if our tax burden increases because we go over the fiscal cliff, which some have mentioned is actually a fiscal slope.
Slope or cliff, we must not be afraid but do the best we can with what we have, what we have been given.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
The end of the world!
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| Altun Ha Mayan Ruins, outside Belize City
If you have been keeping track of the Mayan Calendar, the end of the world is upon us, in a little more than two weeks at the time of this writing. I've been to the Maya Ruins known as Altun Ha, just outside Belize City on a couple of occasions. I am always impressed by the way the Mayans built their temples. These people, like the Egyptians, had some kind of extra inside tip on mathematics or something. Their beliefs were 'interesting', but their buildings are amazing. At any rate, according to the Mayan calendar we are at the end of the world, are you ready?
As a Christian, I believe what the Bible says, which is that we should 'Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.' Matthew 24:42. I don't know about you, but I am a literal believer in the God of the Book and what His Book says. Yes, the Maya were an intelligent people, they built great temples, and the items found in their burial temples are said to be amazing; but whatever is supposed to happen in two weeks I am not convinced it is the end of the world. I sometimes wonder though, if there may be a change of some kind that will happen. It's nothing I read or a conversation I in which I took part, it's just a recurring thought that these people were intelligent. From where did they obtain their information?
At any rate, whatever they knew and from wherever they obtained their information, I will opt for being ready for when Jesus comes back. What does being ready for when Jesus comes back really mean? It means spending your days talking to Jesus, your nights praying for your enemies as well as your friends, spending time in His word, and thanking Him for forgiving you of your sins and loving you despite those sins. In a nutshell, stay in relationship with Jesus, share Him with others, live the best life you can; and everything else will fall into place, even when it's the end of the world.
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