I love to sing. My family loves music. My mother sang soprano and tenor in the church choir for many years. My maternal grandfather played banjo so well he was in several competitions. Although he has gone to Heaven, I can still hear his music in my head. Most of my uncles, my brother, my oldest nephew, and one or two of my aunts, play guitar. Music, singing, runs in our veins.
I love art. I could spend a whole week in any museum. To me, art represents the history, another thing I love, of the people whose drawings, prints, pottery, and clothing I am viewing. I love history because I love to hear where people came from, what their family name means, how they arrived at today. I love to hear the elderly talk about their lives, there is so much wisdom and so much to learn from their experiences.
My element however, is writing. I have been writing since age 11. When I write I get lost in time and in the subject on which I am writing. As I sit here writing this blog, I have two articles and a school paper, all with deadlines on which I am working; not to mention the two books I have been asking God to provide the time for me to work on. Most people would find the thought of all of this writing overwhelming. But the fact is when you are in your element, what others may find difficult you will find easy.
What is your element? Are you doing it or are you making excuses? Your element may not make you money, at least not in the beginning. I would venture to say it is something you can do outside of work. So no, you do not have to give up your job to 'do' your element.
Another way to view element is to see it as the reason you are on this earth. Many of us work day jobs but there is this one thing we love to do, not a hobby, but our element; that not only helps us but helps others. Your element could be that of being a good parent, a tutor, assisting special needs people, etc. If you do not know what your element is, ask God to tell you. I promise when you realize your element and start working on it, you will realize a new sense of fulfillment. You will realize your reason for being here.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
Humility
Humility, some are born with it the rest have to learn it, usually the hard way. When I think of the humble people in my life, I notice one common trait they have. They love God. They decided to put him first. The non-humble people decided to put themselves first.
I like to do my own personal studies of human nature. I guess you can say I am a people watcher. Whether I'm sitting on a park bench at a public venue, reading how people portray themselves on social media, or just listening and watching how people interact with each other. I have even caught myself reviewing how I dealt with a certain situation. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.
To be transparent, I believe I am one who had to learn humility. My parents are humble, but it seems to be the one thing they could not teach me. Life taught me. You see, humility is mentioned several times in the Bible. God seems to appreciate the person who can be humble because those are the people with whom he can more easily work. Have you ever tried to work with someone who was not humble? They know it all, they know more than you do, they don't trust or believe anything anyone else says. It seems like they were born all-knowing!
Humble people on the other hand, maintain a teachable spirit. They may know what you are talking about, but they listen anyway. It's not that they want you to stumble or that they appreciate you showing off, they just know, or have learned how to sit quietly until it is their turn. And when it is their turn, they take their turn with class. Humble people sometimes protect others from themselves. I will let you think about that.
I heard a pastor tell a story recently. He was just starting out in his ministry and had a small congregation. He and some of his leaders invited a well-known man to come and speak to his congregation. They invited people from all around, posted fliers, everyone anticipated hearing from this man. The day before he was supposed to go to speak, he called the pastor and asked him how big his congregation was. When the pastor told him, he told the pastor the congregation was too small and that he had changed his mind. The pastor tried to get him to change his decision but he would not. When everyone showed up, they were told that the speaker would not be there. I can imagine how he felt. He did not tell them why. He protected this speaker from himself.
From all accounts, God dealt with this man. He ended up losing his wealth, his wife, his social standing. He talked about it years later and it so happens the pastor was in attendance to hear this man give the account of how he lost everything. If we do not learn humility, God will teach it to us. I don't know about you, but I would rather learn it on my own.
I don't believe humility is always easy, but I believe it's the best course of action. If we stop trying to fix things, fix people, fix situations, and allow God to work, it is amazing the outcome we will see. I have noticed in my life that humility works much better than not. I have come to appreciate the trait some people so naturally have. It has protected me from silly arguments, bad decisions, and a quick tongue. It has allowed me to let go and let God. Trust me, it's amazing the way God fixes things when we humble ourselves before Him an let him work.
'Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.' Daniel 10:12.
I like to do my own personal studies of human nature. I guess you can say I am a people watcher. Whether I'm sitting on a park bench at a public venue, reading how people portray themselves on social media, or just listening and watching how people interact with each other. I have even caught myself reviewing how I dealt with a certain situation. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.
To be transparent, I believe I am one who had to learn humility. My parents are humble, but it seems to be the one thing they could not teach me. Life taught me. You see, humility is mentioned several times in the Bible. God seems to appreciate the person who can be humble because those are the people with whom he can more easily work. Have you ever tried to work with someone who was not humble? They know it all, they know more than you do, they don't trust or believe anything anyone else says. It seems like they were born all-knowing!
Humble people on the other hand, maintain a teachable spirit. They may know what you are talking about, but they listen anyway. It's not that they want you to stumble or that they appreciate you showing off, they just know, or have learned how to sit quietly until it is their turn. And when it is their turn, they take their turn with class. Humble people sometimes protect others from themselves. I will let you think about that.
I heard a pastor tell a story recently. He was just starting out in his ministry and had a small congregation. He and some of his leaders invited a well-known man to come and speak to his congregation. They invited people from all around, posted fliers, everyone anticipated hearing from this man. The day before he was supposed to go to speak, he called the pastor and asked him how big his congregation was. When the pastor told him, he told the pastor the congregation was too small and that he had changed his mind. The pastor tried to get him to change his decision but he would not. When everyone showed up, they were told that the speaker would not be there. I can imagine how he felt. He did not tell them why. He protected this speaker from himself.
From all accounts, God dealt with this man. He ended up losing his wealth, his wife, his social standing. He talked about it years later and it so happens the pastor was in attendance to hear this man give the account of how he lost everything. If we do not learn humility, God will teach it to us. I don't know about you, but I would rather learn it on my own.
I don't believe humility is always easy, but I believe it's the best course of action. If we stop trying to fix things, fix people, fix situations, and allow God to work, it is amazing the outcome we will see. I have noticed in my life that humility works much better than not. I have come to appreciate the trait some people so naturally have. It has protected me from silly arguments, bad decisions, and a quick tongue. It has allowed me to let go and let God. Trust me, it's amazing the way God fixes things when we humble ourselves before Him an let him work.
'Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.' Daniel 10:12.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Church Folk
In our 'enlightened' age many people do not feel the need to make church attendance a part of their regular schedule. If I were to take a poll to find out why, I would hear varying excuses: 'I can have church at home by listening to a television preacher', or 'my church streams services', or the all time prevailing answer: 'Christians are hypocrites'. I've heard it all, and quite honestly sometimes I don't blame them for that last comment. As Christians we know that as awesome as many of the television pastors are, or how cool it is to watch our own church online, there is nothing like experiencing church in real time. Psalm 133:1 says 'Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity'. Attending church brings unity and gives us a sense of belonging, but more importantly, deepens our commitment and relationship to Christ. Or it should.
I said earlier that I don't blame people who say 'Christians are hypocrites'. That thinking however will not give them a pass go into Heaven. If all it takes to get into Heaven is to tell Jesus that church folk were hypocrites and that you did everything else right, then none of us would need to go to church. I am not saying you have to attend church to get into Heaven, I am saying that part of being Christian is obeying Christ's commands and living the kind of life he lived. If you think you have trouble dealing with church folk, think about what he went through. He was ridiculed in his local synagogue, he had to chase the money lenders out of one synagogue, and we all know who the masterminds were behind getting him killed.
None of us has any excuse for not going to church. Let me tell you a secret: there is no perfect church because there are no perfect people. The key is to find the right Bible-based, Christ-taught church for you. It may not be the same church to which your family has gone for generations. It may not be a 'traditional' church with 'traditional' service times and days. Remember, the key is what is taught. Also remember, the people inside the building came from outside of the building, just like you and I did. Now everyone inside the building is growing at different levels. Some people grow fast like grass in the middle of the Florida rainy season. Some people grow slow like grass in the dessert, in the summertime. On top of the growth process we must all go through, we will always make mistakes. Mistakes that range from simple foot-in-mouth disease to falling, through weakness.
When we go to church we go to gather together but even Jesus knew there were some people in the church who were only there to cause trouble. Ask God to direct you to the right church for you. When you get there, ask Him to direct you to the right groups and the right people. Ask Him for wisdom and for discernment, 'For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.' 1 Corinthians 14:33. What I am saying may sound mean, but the point is we need to be strong enough to be able to deal with and interact with all types of people and personalities or we can break under the pressure. That is not God's best for us. As Christians we are all God's children, but He did not call us to personalize every one's issues and worldly attitudes because they have not grown to where they should be. In those instances we must pray for people then let go and let God.
Stop making excuses for not attending church. Stop allowing people, their personalities, and yet worldly attitudes stop us from our blessings. God has a way of directing our paths and answering our prayers for a job, a house, a car, a spouse, then why not a church?
'Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.' Hebrews 10:23-25.
I said earlier that I don't blame people who say 'Christians are hypocrites'. That thinking however will not give them a pass go into Heaven. If all it takes to get into Heaven is to tell Jesus that church folk were hypocrites and that you did everything else right, then none of us would need to go to church. I am not saying you have to attend church to get into Heaven, I am saying that part of being Christian is obeying Christ's commands and living the kind of life he lived. If you think you have trouble dealing with church folk, think about what he went through. He was ridiculed in his local synagogue, he had to chase the money lenders out of one synagogue, and we all know who the masterminds were behind getting him killed.
None of us has any excuse for not going to church. Let me tell you a secret: there is no perfect church because there are no perfect people. The key is to find the right Bible-based, Christ-taught church for you. It may not be the same church to which your family has gone for generations. It may not be a 'traditional' church with 'traditional' service times and days. Remember, the key is what is taught. Also remember, the people inside the building came from outside of the building, just like you and I did. Now everyone inside the building is growing at different levels. Some people grow fast like grass in the middle of the Florida rainy season. Some people grow slow like grass in the dessert, in the summertime. On top of the growth process we must all go through, we will always make mistakes. Mistakes that range from simple foot-in-mouth disease to falling, through weakness.
When we go to church we go to gather together but even Jesus knew there were some people in the church who were only there to cause trouble. Ask God to direct you to the right church for you. When you get there, ask Him to direct you to the right groups and the right people. Ask Him for wisdom and for discernment, 'For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.' 1 Corinthians 14:33. What I am saying may sound mean, but the point is we need to be strong enough to be able to deal with and interact with all types of people and personalities or we can break under the pressure. That is not God's best for us. As Christians we are all God's children, but He did not call us to personalize every one's issues and worldly attitudes because they have not grown to where they should be. In those instances we must pray for people then let go and let God.
Stop making excuses for not attending church. Stop allowing people, their personalities, and yet worldly attitudes stop us from our blessings. God has a way of directing our paths and answering our prayers for a job, a house, a car, a spouse, then why not a church?
'Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.' Hebrews 10:23-25.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Focus
I tend to be a focused person. Once I decide to do something it gets done. Otherwise, you got it, what's the point? The one time I had a problem with this work ethic was when I started college right out of high school and was for many years a perpetual student. That was until one day my Dad made a comment about starting something and not finishing. His comment so convicted me that I decided to finish college once and for all.
I decided on a school, signed up, and set a schedule that I stuck to for two years. When I graduated with my degree in May of 2012, it was with a pretty decent GPA. During those two years of school everything took a back seat: sleep being one of those things. I didn't see the point of going back to school to slide through and not take classes seriously.
When my youngest nephew was much younger, I had the opportunity to take him to one or two of his soccer games. I used to drill the word focus into his beautiful little soul. So much so that he wrote me a letter thanking me for taking him to his games and for telling him all about the word focus. You know I still have that letter right?
Lately I have felt my focus trying to slip and since I have no intention of letting that happen, I have checked myself. We have to recognize when we are slipping, and check ourselves before we find ourselves having to start over. I don't know about you, but every minute counts once you pass age 40, although since we don't know how much time we have on this planet, we should make every minute count regardless of age.
Know on what you need to focus, and stick to it. Don't let high drama, people who have no goals, and people who don't want you to meet yours, take away your focus. Remember, you only have one life to live. Fortunately I also have friends and family who mean well and try to keep me balanced. Thank you.
Now that I am back in school I face another year and some months of four to five hours of sleep, working a full time job, not to mention the one or two other commitments I have allowed on my plate. Let's just say time is a commodity. Yes, every once in a while I stop and go to the beach, go to the movies, or meet friends for lunch or dinner; but my friends and family know Civilla is in school, Civilla is focused. That's not such a bad thing to be known for is it? On what are you focused?
I decided on a school, signed up, and set a schedule that I stuck to for two years. When I graduated with my degree in May of 2012, it was with a pretty decent GPA. During those two years of school everything took a back seat: sleep being one of those things. I didn't see the point of going back to school to slide through and not take classes seriously.
When my youngest nephew was much younger, I had the opportunity to take him to one or two of his soccer games. I used to drill the word focus into his beautiful little soul. So much so that he wrote me a letter thanking me for taking him to his games and for telling him all about the word focus. You know I still have that letter right?
Lately I have felt my focus trying to slip and since I have no intention of letting that happen, I have checked myself. We have to recognize when we are slipping, and check ourselves before we find ourselves having to start over. I don't know about you, but every minute counts once you pass age 40, although since we don't know how much time we have on this planet, we should make every minute count regardless of age.
Know on what you need to focus, and stick to it. Don't let high drama, people who have no goals, and people who don't want you to meet yours, take away your focus. Remember, you only have one life to live. Fortunately I also have friends and family who mean well and try to keep me balanced. Thank you.
Now that I am back in school I face another year and some months of four to five hours of sleep, working a full time job, not to mention the one or two other commitments I have allowed on my plate. Let's just say time is a commodity. Yes, every once in a while I stop and go to the beach, go to the movies, or meet friends for lunch or dinner; but my friends and family know Civilla is in school, Civilla is focused. That's not such a bad thing to be known for is it? On what are you focused?
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Blessed not Bitter
I've been thinking about decisions lately. The book I'm working on is consuming my every waking thoughts probably because I wish I had more time to work on it. Much of the book is about the decisions some women made long ago, and decisions we must make today. Every day we have to make choices. Should I make coffee at home or buy some on the way to work? Should I wear a blazer or a sweater? Should I take a left to get to work, or should I go straight? Should I allow life to get to me or should I 'let it go.' You know, 'it', when customers yell at you out of their personal frustrations, when people get offended over a molehill they decided to turn into a mountain because of their personal issues. What about when your life just did not turn out the way you expected and people blame you. Yes, even absolute strangers. People are amazing.
Even so, bitterness will hurt us more than it will hurt anyone else. We cannot allow bitterness to take root. Bitterness does not add it takes away. Bitterness makes us sad, angry, grouchy, and pathetic; or should I say apathetic? On the other hand, taking on an attitude of blessing sends a message to ourselves as well as others, that we will allow God to work in our lives. Of course we will have our moments, we're human, but we have to make the decision to turn it around. 'It', the feelings of bitterness that try to rise up.
You know what I've noticed about the valleys of life, they make us stronger, and if we allow God to work in those valleys, He will make all our crooked ways straight. He will right our wrongs, He will step into our lives and make things better than we could ever expect. He will even walk with us through the valley.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13.
Like many Christians, Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite Bible verses but most people forget about the verses before and after. If you read verses 12 and 13 closely you will see that we have to seek God and we have to seek Him with all of our heart. You know, I never noticed that last 'me', it's italicized, which typically means an emphasis. That means to me that God is the only one, the only 'me', we should be seeking. When we do this we will find that bitterness cannot stay in our hearts and minds very long. We will have no choice but to decide to be blessed.
Let's make the decision to be blessed not bitter. Sometimes the decision is minute by minute, sometimes its day by day, but make the decision and let God do the rest.
Even so, bitterness will hurt us more than it will hurt anyone else. We cannot allow bitterness to take root. Bitterness does not add it takes away. Bitterness makes us sad, angry, grouchy, and pathetic; or should I say apathetic? On the other hand, taking on an attitude of blessing sends a message to ourselves as well as others, that we will allow God to work in our lives. Of course we will have our moments, we're human, but we have to make the decision to turn it around. 'It', the feelings of bitterness that try to rise up.
You know what I've noticed about the valleys of life, they make us stronger, and if we allow God to work in those valleys, He will make all our crooked ways straight. He will right our wrongs, He will step into our lives and make things better than we could ever expect. He will even walk with us through the valley.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13.
Like many Christians, Jeremiah 29:11 is one of my favorite Bible verses but most people forget about the verses before and after. If you read verses 12 and 13 closely you will see that we have to seek God and we have to seek Him with all of our heart. You know, I never noticed that last 'me', it's italicized, which typically means an emphasis. That means to me that God is the only one, the only 'me', we should be seeking. When we do this we will find that bitterness cannot stay in our hearts and minds very long. We will have no choice but to decide to be blessed.
Let's make the decision to be blessed not bitter. Sometimes the decision is minute by minute, sometimes its day by day, but make the decision and let God do the rest.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
My heart was set
Have you ever just known, I mean you knew without a doubt, that something you had hoped for or just assumed, would happen. I mean there was no doubt and you didn't even give it a second thought because you just knew! And then it didn't happen. I'm not talking about a trip you had planned or a college to which you applied. I'm talking about something that when it did not happen it rocked you to your core.
I believe if something like this has never happened to you, you are fortunate. But really, you haven't lived until you have had to fight for every minute of every day, minute by minute. Sounds rough huh? Well there are a lot of people going through this very scenario. Some people survive the blow and some do not. For some it's the loss of a loved one they thought would be around for at least a very long time. For others its a prayer God did not answer. It's pretty tough when you pray for years for something and God does not answer.
What do you do, how do you recover, how do you make it through the rest of your life? There are a lot of smug answers: 'well God is in control' or 'we live in a fallen world', or what about this one 'we will understand it better by and by.' When is 'by and by'? Why do we have to wait until then to understand?
A lot of things do not make sense and as human beings, we want things to make sense. What do we do when we can't get things to make sense? We struggle with 'it' making sense one day and then the next day we're back to being completely dumbfounded. We want two and two to add up to four and it just isn't adding up.
Let me tell you from my humble perch. I am there. I want you to know that if I can make it so can you. Allow yourself to question God, allow yourself to struggle until you just don't struggle anymore. Whatever you do, don't give up, keep going. If you don't have a core group of trusted people to talk to, seek professional help. One day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will use your experience to help someone else. Sure, you would prefer that your prayers had been answered but they weren't. You won't be the first and you won't be the last, neither will I. Take every bit of your experience and put it to good use. Everything will be alright.
I believe if something like this has never happened to you, you are fortunate. But really, you haven't lived until you have had to fight for every minute of every day, minute by minute. Sounds rough huh? Well there are a lot of people going through this very scenario. Some people survive the blow and some do not. For some it's the loss of a loved one they thought would be around for at least a very long time. For others its a prayer God did not answer. It's pretty tough when you pray for years for something and God does not answer.
What do you do, how do you recover, how do you make it through the rest of your life? There are a lot of smug answers: 'well God is in control' or 'we live in a fallen world', or what about this one 'we will understand it better by and by.' When is 'by and by'? Why do we have to wait until then to understand?
A lot of things do not make sense and as human beings, we want things to make sense. What do we do when we can't get things to make sense? We struggle with 'it' making sense one day and then the next day we're back to being completely dumbfounded. We want two and two to add up to four and it just isn't adding up.
Let me tell you from my humble perch. I am there. I want you to know that if I can make it so can you. Allow yourself to question God, allow yourself to struggle until you just don't struggle anymore. Whatever you do, don't give up, keep going. If you don't have a core group of trusted people to talk to, seek professional help. One day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will use your experience to help someone else. Sure, you would prefer that your prayers had been answered but they weren't. You won't be the first and you won't be the last, neither will I. Take every bit of your experience and put it to good use. Everything will be alright.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Let's go to the casino!
Co-worker: Hey Civilla, let's go to the casino?
Me: he he he, funny.
Co-worker: Come on, I've been asking you to go.
Me: Let me ask you a question? I'm on the prayer team at church, what do you think I should do, should I go to the casino with you then go to church and pray?
(queue laughter from a co-worker sitting nearby.)
End of conversation...for now, I'm sure.
That conversation got me to thinking, for the millionth time, about people who straddle the fence. Fence straddling is one of my pet-peeves. Pick a side! Whether it is relationship with Christ or not, or casino or not. There is a saying 'if you don't stand up for something you will fall for anything.' I'm not sure who said it, but it's true. It is very easy to get on the latest bandwagon if you don't know where you stand.
Do the research, saying you do not care is a cop out. It turns out by the way, that God doesn't care much for fence straddlers either:
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelations 3:14-16.
For the record, I get along well with this co-worker. Most of my co-workers know that I have picked a side. Am I perfect? No. Who is? But they see me striving daily to have the right attitude, trying not to trip over myself, dealing with bad news and bad days. They know for a fact that I have picked a side and it has nothing to do with a casino.
You know this, but I will say it anyway: people know exactly what you stand for as a Christian, but they will try you anyway. If you are not straddling the fence you have nothing to worry about because you have picked a side!
Me: he he he, funny.
Co-worker: Come on, I've been asking you to go.
Me: Let me ask you a question? I'm on the prayer team at church, what do you think I should do, should I go to the casino with you then go to church and pray?
(queue laughter from a co-worker sitting nearby.)
End of conversation...for now, I'm sure.
That conversation got me to thinking, for the millionth time, about people who straddle the fence. Fence straddling is one of my pet-peeves. Pick a side! Whether it is relationship with Christ or not, or casino or not. There is a saying 'if you don't stand up for something you will fall for anything.' I'm not sure who said it, but it's true. It is very easy to get on the latest bandwagon if you don't know where you stand.
Do the research, saying you do not care is a cop out. It turns out by the way, that God doesn't care much for fence straddlers either:
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelations 3:14-16.
For the record, I get along well with this co-worker. Most of my co-workers know that I have picked a side. Am I perfect? No. Who is? But they see me striving daily to have the right attitude, trying not to trip over myself, dealing with bad news and bad days. They know for a fact that I have picked a side and it has nothing to do with a casino.
You know this, but I will say it anyway: people know exactly what you stand for as a Christian, but they will try you anyway. If you are not straddling the fence you have nothing to worry about because you have picked a side!
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